The City Life of Ratface

TV on the Radio

2011-02-24T01:29:00.003-05:00

Wow,
The idea of posting all of my emotions was so much more necessary before i came home, crawled into my comfortable bed, and turned on the tv to calm me down. Is that wrong? I thought of the longest and most intricate post which would get out all of my feelings on the walk home from the bar. Does alcohol bring out necessary emotions? Does TV just calm me down? Not sure.

I forget I have this sometimes

2010-09-23T17:08:00.002-04:00

I was looking at a fellow Blogger's site and thought, damn, I have to link to this to leave a comment? Allrrriiigghhttt. Might as well make my most current post less "i hate life because i'm sad" and more "life's going pretty well."

I'm an independent and positive person and it takes a lot to bring me down and a lot to get me unmotivated, so I've decided I need more Ashley time. That's hard to do when I'm out 4 nights a week taking pictures for yinzerparty, or running around trying to enjoy all the restaurants of Pittsburgh with good friends, or handling work events. But I need it: Ashley time.

It took a few new dates for me to realize how I lose a bit of myself depending on my company. There's definitely a strength in being able to adapt oneself to a certain situation, but I think that strength turns into a bad thing when you've changed your best assets. I'm loud, I'm crass, I like to drink, I like to talk about "inappropriate" subjects, I like to eat junk food, I like to meet new people, and I like to laugh...a lot. Sometimes I hide 1 or 2 of those qualities because I don't know if the person I'm with can handle it or wants to see it. Then after a few dates I realize, hey I'm not myself.

After taking a step back and realizing that's what I did in my last relationship, I now know that someone either has to take all of me or none of me. It's no one's fault but mine; if I'm not comfortable being all that I am, either ask what's up or walk away. This Ashley time is to figure out who I am again and be comfortable with that again so that other people can feel comfortable with it.

giving up

2010-06-17T13:15:00.003-04:00

i gave up on my shoe-a-day blogging. mainly because i bought the $200 jeffrey campbell wedges, but also because i've been going through a rough time. as for the wedges, they're amazing and comfortable and i've only fallen twice. now if i could only remember the 50 outfits i thought up in my head in order to justify me buying them...
as for the rough time, i've been broken up with. i'm completely broken hearted and anxious and confused and sad and angry all at the same time. turns out it's doing wonders for weightloss-i can't eat or sleep so i've dropped a few pounds :)
i keep thinking over and over about what happened and what i did wrong and why i wasn't good enough or worth working on. i come up with all these reasons that are my fault. if i hadn't yelled at him for not saying the right thing here, or if i'd have shut my mouth when a certain something bothered me, or if i'd have just ignored something he said that i took as a putdown...then maybe everything would be ok and we'd be together.
i was reading frank turner and tim barry lyrics (maybe not the best thing to do when you're sad), and one of my favorites quotes to take away was 'truth is hard, guilt is easy'

is it easier for me to blame myself that i pushed him away, rather than accept that maybe he just doesn't love me anymore? is it easier for me to blame myself that if i hadn't brought something up, then we'd be together right now?
is it easier to blame him for not 'learning to fight' and 'learning to drink together' and 'learning how to compromise' than admit that i didn't learn them either? is it easier to be so angry at him for ending this than admit the truth that we just didn't work together?
anything is easier to think right now than the reality of not being with him anymore. this sucks...

Week 2...still

2010-06-02T11:48:00.003-04:00

You know what's annoying when you ask someone to take your picture? They cut you off, don't center you, or have something in the background sticking out of your head. So even though this past week I've done a good job getting through the collection of shoes I own, I've come up with no good pictures. So last night I put all the outfits together again, and voila, I'm down another 5 pairs!

I got these wedges with strawberries on them at the Mall of America. I don't particularly like them, but I needed to buy something, anything at the mall. I rarely wear them and they really hurt my feet in weird places, so I'm going to retire them. At least I had one last good run.

My favorite Miss Sixty dress! I don't even like these shoes with it, I usually sport my western boots to mix up a little rough and soft. But I wanted to try something different...so I pulled out the only pair of brown heels I have. I don't think I've ever needed to wear them more than once a year, but there's always that one suit or dress that can only go with brown.

It's not hard to wear my cowboy boots with anything, because I love them. But it's 90 degrees and it's going to stay that way for the next 3 months, so I can only wear them when there's a nice breeze outside.

Although Steve Madden steals other people's designs, his shoes are comfortable. And they often go on sale! I really love these platform booties and haven't found much they don't match.

I was soooo opposed to gladiator sandals when they first came out. But then I saw my girl, Sarah, rock them. And I thought, hey I can warm up to these! I went to my favorite ghetto/cheapo shoe store downtown and bought these puppies for less than $20. That's why both soles are cracked in half. I just avoid wearing them on rainy days

Week 2

2010-06-01T15:26:00.001-04:00

I went to a white party to snap some shots for my website, yinzerparty.com this weekend. I wore a dress I made that I hardly ever pull out, because...it's white. I guarded my cranberry and vodka VERY closely. The best shoes that I only wear twice a year for this dress? Sequined vintage heels that go great with the lightning bolt. It's worth it to keep a pair of shoes to match only one dress in my closet...right?

The month of shoes

2010-05-27T15:50:00.008-04:00

I work a job where I don't dress up anymore, so it was time to clear my closets of some of my least favorite outfits that were just around for work purposes. I threw away a lot of sweaters and some ill fitting dress pants. The only things I couldn't part with? My shoes. All 49 of them.
Looking at tumblr and different style blogs, I get really antsy for some new heels. I'm also pretty in love with these

But what could I possibly need another pair of heels for when I don't wear everything I own now? So my mission this month: wear every pair of shoes I own at least once.

So far this week, I've been able to pull out 4 looks.
These wedges are actually pretty comfortable. They're fun and colorful, so wearing them with something simple is easy. I wanted a chance to wear these pants though

These boots are my favorite shoes. I barley ever wear them, because shockingly, they're not too functionable. They only look good with shorty shorts or leggings. But I got a romper and some gold chains and threw em on!

I needed a pair of summer sandals. I really hate that 'let's put this annoying piece of material in between your toes' part, but oh well. The belt had little bobbles that totally matched the shoes. They look at lot less silver in person too, so the belt and shoes matched well.

My friend and I are big hot dog fans. I also have a hard time resisting cute, cheesy clothes with food on them. Hence, the hot dog slipons while at Hot Franks

Thinking, that's all.

2009-11-09T11:25:00.002-05:00

I've been unmotivated and upset lately. Perhaps that's why my diet blog only has 2 posts...
I'm trying to figure out a career path, which is probably the original reason i started this blog. i have no idea what it is, but i'm going to do whatever keeps me happy in life until i can figure that out. the problem lately, is that i'm not even finding things to keep me happy.
my job is the pits. yes, it could be much worse! but so what? what isn't the pits is waking up, having a goal, dressing up, meeting new coworkers, and learning on this job. i'm stuck in this pro equals cons stage of this job and am not motivated to look for anything different

my website is going well. i've got a lot of people interested and i've got a lot of visitors and users. im scared it's going to get old soon. i'm not motivated to change anything and progress it. my photographs and skills are improving, and i'm extremely happy with that. my mindset going into this was to improve business skills though, and i'm doing nothing on that end.

i can remember the happiest 2 years of my life were when i let go and went with the flow and figured out problems when they came along. it's hard to live in that mindset though. when i realized i was running out of money, i was stressed. when i realized i was going nowhere in a career, i was stressed. when i realized partying everyday may be easy now, but that work when i'm 35 with a family, i was stressed.

i wish there was a way i could balance a carefree attitude where i do what i want when i want, but with knowing my boundaries. i'm too concerned about what people are thinking and why things aren't happeneing, rather than just waiting for things to happen and fall in place. what sucks is that this isn't an attitude i can work on-it's the exact opposite of that. it's giving up on my concern and stress and mainting a positive attitutde despite everything.

hannah sent me a photo blog and it had some great advice. it also hits home with my own way of thinking:
"I have always believed in the power of coincidence. Serendipity. Whatever you choose to call it. I love chance. I love taking chances. Maybe I take too many, but I believe in leaving room for happy accidents, for the “meant to be.” I believe that sometimes we get what we need in ways we could never plan.

I’m on the island. I’m sitting by the sea wall in front of the cottage on a cool, cloudy day, waiting for another ship to pass. It will come in its own time, as yesterday came when I needed it, not before. Inspiration comes, not necessarily when it is needed, but when we’re ready to receive it."

Perhaps one thing i can work to change is surrounding myself with positive attitudes and people that inspire me even if they don't know they're doing it.

Day...2

2009-10-22T14:44:00.003-04:00

Well i got sick with the flu/a severe cold/i'm not really sure, so maybe my food problem feeling was due to the illnes.

to start again, today i ate:

oatmeal at 9am....felt fine

flavored pretzels at 11:20 am....a little bloated, but mostly felt alright

lobster/cauliflour puree soup and chopped salad 2 rolls at 1pm...felt very bloated after the soup and roll. felt like the food was just sitting on top of my stomach

Diet Blog

2009-10-14T10:16:00.002-04:00

Sorry if you come across this blog expecting something witty....as ALL of my previous posts were...but I know have to turn this in to a 'i think i'm hypoglycemic/should watch my diet of doritos in beer/this is how i'm keeping track of it' blog.

So....DAY 1:

2 scrambled eggs @ 10:20
oatmeal @ 11:05

....feeling fine!...

cheese curls and reeses peanut butter cup @ 1:00

...feeling alright...

mashed potatoes and a bit of pork leftovers @ 3
sprite @ 3:45

...shaky, lightheaded, hot, faint, tingly...

fiber 1 bar @ 4:15

...still feeling lightheaded, nauceous...

popcorn @ 6:45

...laid down, feeling a bit better, got up and walked around...

indian mushroom/chicken/cauliflower and brown rice dinner

...neaceous, lightheaded...

mac n cheese tv dinner @ midnight

...feeling better, but ready for bed...

Happiness is all the rage

2009-06-11T16:48:00.002-04:00

I read a lot of my old posts yesterday....cause i do a lot at work....a lot were about how incredibly happy i was in vegas. and then the posts when i wasnt happy. then i started to think about when i really happy last year in pittsburgh, but how now i'm not.

And i came up with these common threads:
A retail/easy/bullshit/random schedule job. It didn't mean a lot of money, but i had time off to do my own thing, there was not a lot of stress, and i met a lot of people my own age.
A few very close friends that were so happy i was new to the city, that we dedicated our time and energy to each other.
A newness to the city and an excitement to discover so much about it.
Warm weather.
Singleness.

I think that's all i came up with. I'll dissect the job thing later, but for now, i feel like going into my single life. There were many posts about how i met a new, cute guy. But he was a drug addict. Or irresponsible. Or an alocoholic-whatever, you name it, it was vegas. But then i met paul and really settled down. It wasn't better or worse-it was just my life. I've tried to stay single the whole time i've been here (Tried, i know my sister's laughing. hey-i have been on a few dates!), because i feel like it helps me grow as a person, and i feel like i discover the city more when i'm on my own.
But when i first moved here, i realized something was different. maybe it's the east coast guys. Or maybe it's guys that are actually older than me-but really, here's to all of you: wtf???
I'm single and ready to mingle. That means some night i might like to go home and have a one night stand. That means some night, after a couple of months or years of friendship, we might drunkenly hookup. Whatever the case may be, i'm not trying to 'boyfriend you' 'marry you' or even try to 'hookup with you' again! Maybe i accept that we aren't fit for each other, and i just want to hang out and make new friends in a new city!
Every guy i met and hooked up with last summer, completely disregarded me as a person when i saw them out. Barely a hello, and certainly not a 'hi how are you? how have you been?' i get it, we did it on the first date-im not the girl you take home to your mother. well guess what? you're not the guy i want to take home to my mother either! I want to have friends and i want to be around people who i enjoy the company of. But all of you guys just aren't having it.

So i changed my outlook. after 2 attempts at hanging out with a guy and no response on his end-number is deleted. if i see you out, a head nod is good enough. i dont have time to waste on men or on friends like that. But as i read my blog yesterday, i realized i met more people and i learned about myself when i gave people a chance.

So i decided to try my old way again last night. After not hearing the response i wanted, i could have closed my phone and deleted the number for good. but i thought 'hey, i need friends' so i kept chatting and ended on a good note (even if that note isn't us hanging out). As im telling hilary this, she reminds me that guys who hookup right away were never looking for a friend in the first place. They dont want to hang out again, because if they wanted to be friends-they never would have made it just about hooking up. i tried to deny, and counted on one hand the guys i know that have been able to do that-and decided to partly agree with her. She also said if a 'friend' is worth that much trouble to convince to go out, they aren't worth friend time at all. So as much as i'd like to keep giving this new way a chance-damn is it annoying. maybe i will agree with her and go back to my old way.

amazing

2009-06-10T11:28:00.002-04:00

i'm not one to complain.

well that might be a lie-but at least i call it venting.

i am one to say if you hate your life, do something to change it though. but really?

i just put $900 in my car, after paying it off 2 months ago, and the gears started slipping as i pulled away from the mechanic's garage.
i feel like i have lost my best friend of 4 years and that i'll never meet someone like that again in my life
my 'vacation' was supposed to be a blast and a good time, but it turned into a babysitting trip of my drunk friend who misplaced my chi hair straightener, a fight with my ex boyfriend who ditched me for a new girl, and cold weather
i dont think i've ever lived somewhere where people talk about each other and gossip about friends as much as here
my credit card company pretends that i dont pay my bill every month and wants to charge me $40 for that
i dont like my job. at all. but i realize unemployment will not pay my bills and there's not much else available right now in pittsburgh
i dont like my hair right now at all
im looking forward to starting my business, but have been such a perfectionist about it that i think i'm a bad photographer and no one will enjoy the pictures
i can't decide if dating a guy that's been nicer to me than anything other guy i've ever met is a good idea or not. i think being by myself is a better choice-why?
and i hate complaining

haha full circle there. oh well. at least i have a company to start. and my mom has actually been really awesome lately-and my family in general! and i have a place to live with a best friend roommate. and it's summer.

whatever...'blog venting'

to be single or not to be

2009-06-08T18:11:00.003-04:00

i've been pretty sad lately. can't tell if it's 1. the job i can't stand, but can't quit, because the economy is terrible. 2. friends who i'd like to count on but who make relationships their priority. no, not priority-their life. so i can count on, well, fingers-maybe about 2 or 3 fingers, who i can rely on and have a good time with at this point in my life. 3. my constant search for a city where i enjoy myself and finally feel where i belong.

i'm gonna go with number 2 in this case, just because my coworker and i were talking about it today. i like to think of myself as an open-minded person, and if i'm being judgemental about something, or i dont understand someone else's perspective-i work damn hard to better myself and understand it. well my friend, my engaged friend, brought up to me the point that i get so upset at my married or relationship friends who just enjoy their time with their significant other and spend very little time with me. that as a single person, i go out to fill some void in my life and constantly find something that i don't have. when you have someone at home that you love and enjoy, you'd much rather be at home enjoying their company. going out is alright-but you want their company all to yourself and don't want to split your time with them at all.

i thought about it. i thought back to my relationships. and yes, i did want to spend a lot of time at home watching movies. or pass on a crazy night out because i was completely content falling asleep next to my man with law and order playing in the background. i'm the first one to say i'm most comfortable around guys i've been with because they know my intimate ins and outs, and i know theirs, and the comfort of being that relaxed and not having to judge them is a freedom that i just can't experience with my friends. so needless to say, i started to feel really bad that i even get mad at my relationship friends for ditching me.

but is it comfort? or content? i remembered the times in my relationships when i still met sarah at open bar, or i went to sami's house parties. or i went to the bar without chade the spade. i'd still have my faggy girl nights while watching sappy movies, and i'd still call up my sister to see what was going on in her life. all in all, i dont go out to fill a void in my life, unless that void is called 'having a good time.' sometimes i go out to hook up and sometimes i grab a beer because it's been a bad day at work. but most of the time i go out with my friends because they make me happy, they make me laugh, and they help complete my life. so someone correct me if i'm wrong, but that's still possible even when you're in love. there are still movies, or dinners, or phonecalls. if you sit around in this bubble of relationship-ness, how do you expand your mind? or grow as a person? getting to know the love of your life is an amazing feeling, but there's more to life-there are other people and other personalities in this world that will make you grow into a more sensitive and interesting person.

i guess my priority to costantly learn from different settings and different people differ from the priority of people who don't really care about that.

sad to say-i'd just like to meet some close friends who can be my relationship. peolpe i can count on, stay home with, be there for me, and don't dump me when something new comes along. maybe that will be a man-the most interesting man i've ever met and i will never have to leave the house. i hope not.

it's been awhile-that's rude enough

2009-03-05T09:17:00.002-05:00

i'm sure we've experienced all of these once in awhile, or better yet-people do some of them!

Party Poopers When you receive an invitation to a dinner or party--whether by Evite, voicemail, or casual email--RESPOND. Yeah, that’s what that little “RSVP” thing means. Everyone knows it, yet it’s amazing how many don’t respond. Even for weddings! Planning a party or event requires a lot of work, so do the host a simple favor and let them know if you're coming or not.

Nickel & Dimin’ How annoying is it when you go to dinner with four or more people, the check finally arrives, and one of your meal companions begins to divvy up the check down to the last penny? Sure, we get that Sally had a shrimp salad, and Janet had two iced teas, while Beth only had water, and you ordered a slice of peach pie (a la mode, which is extra). The point is, if you go out to dinner with a group, be prepared to split the bill more or less evenly. If there's an outstanding cost differential, fine, estimate it and be done with it. The person who spends twenty minutes dividing the bill to the dime comes off as a cheapskate –- and kills the festive mood.

The Line-Up Lines are a fact of life. At the post office, the supermarket, just about everywhere these days. For starters, moaners who huff and gripe about standing in a line of three people for all of five minutes are tops on our list. Get over yourself -- if you don’t have a few minutes to wait to buy that loaf of bread, then pick it up another time. Another thing: Don’t show your impatience by creeping up so close to the person in front of you that they can feel your breath. Crowding those around you will not get you to the front any faster, so give them some space. Finally, cutting in line or trying to ignore the fact that there IS a line –- stop it! Everyone’s time is valuable.

The ME Show It’s great to hear all the crazy, wacky, wonderful things happening in the lives of others. Jobs, engagements, breakups, boyfriends, puppies, pregnancies, vacations — very good stuff, all of it. But once you’ve listened to a friend, family member, or colleague spout about their own fabulous life for an hour (or two), it’s normal to expect them to ask, “So, what’s going on with you?” Those who blab on about themselves while you listen intently, then don’t ask a thing about you in return are just plain rude.

Baby Biz Changing a poopy baby diaper around others is nasty -- and we're moms. Changing the other kind of baby diaper in public is one thing, but still should only be done when absolutely necessary!

Mobile Madness As much as we love the modern age, there are days when we long to go to a coffee shop, movie theatre, bookstore, or post office and not hear some teen queen dishing to her friend about last night's hot date with Todd or eavesdrop (unwillingly) on a screaming family feud. Mobile phones are essential, but please, people, pleeeeeeease, use a little restraint on the when's, what's, and where's. We're happy that Todd is "totally built" but we're going to have to start walking around town and slapping people with "TMI" tickets (yes, too much information).

Smokes Everyone has a right to smoke in public, but be conscious of whose face your smoke is blowing into. Are there kids nearby? And we just might kick the butt of the next person we see throwing their burning butt on the ground without putting it out. Really, find an ashtray or trashcan where you can extinguish and dispose of it properly -- that thing is garbage, not decoration for our streets and sidewalks.

The Pee & Flee Public bathrooms get used by everyone -- yup, they're public! So, making a mess of the toilet seat, and then prancing out without bothering to wipe it up -- not cool. Leaving a mess for the next visitor is completely unacceptable (and disgustingly unsanitary, of course). Take 10 seconds to rip off a piece of toilet paper, toilet seat cover, or a paper towel, and do your due diligence!

Stealing...a parking spot, that is. Yeah, you know who you are. If someone has their blinker on and is patiently waiting for a spot, it's theirs. And if you've already passed a spot up, it's gone. Treat others as you expect to be treated, and the parking goddesses will smile down upon you... eventually.

Belly Baring Men, women -- anyone who's passed puberty, everyone who isn't lounging poolside or oceanside -- resist the urge to bare those bellies. They may be beautiful, Buddha-like, jolly, but sometimes they can be flabby, hairy, and not ripe for public consumption. If you're jogging, fellas, t-shirts or tanks won't hurt your workout, so throw one on. Gals, midriff fashions are never really on our "Do" list, and that goes double if your age doesn't contain the word "teen." There are plenty of ways for all of us to flaunt what we got without sharing our tum-tums with the world.

Spitting This gets especially yucky when it's one of those enormous globs that looks like it could be alive. Some people (males, in particular) think it's kind of a cool-guy thing to do. We're here to tell ya that no one wants to see you hock a big gooey one out of your car, onto the sidewalk, or anywhere else for that matter. Try a tissue.

Honking Problem People who honk too often, too unnecessarily, or just to express their emotions are on our list of Most Etiquette Challenged. If you're trying to warn someone about a collision or problem, fine, otherwise it's not that serious. Give it a rest!

More interviews

2008-09-25T16:51:00.002-04:00

Well I had about 3 last week and 3 scheduled this week. I ran into a friend from York County and she mentioned going to a very revolving door type place where I can get commission on non-profit telemarketing. Sounds alright for awhile. I also have an interview for some insurance company, but considering it's 24 7/365 I'd have any shift they decide to give me. I interview with Ulta tomorrow, as a make up artist. Well, no experience there, but since i've had experience so far and can't get a job maybe that'll be a blessing! I interviewed for a great position with the convention center here yesterdday and would be awesome for it, but I guess I'll have to wait that out.
Other than that, I have 2 guest bartending spots coming up in the next month. And i've decided what to be for halloween.

Things are looking down

2008-09-11T14:24:00.002-04:00

I am having a completely terrible time finding a job. You would think with years of experience in some of the hippest (the word is kind of gross) retail stores, shops might give a shit to hire me. Well...then you would be wrong. I can't even get Urban to call me back even though i was there for like a year and a half.
But my quest to actually find a career job instead of some shitty place is not ending! I've officially tapped into my savings and realized spending $2000 during the month of August just on going out may not be my best options right now.
I've had about 2039482034 interviews a week. I've interviewed with Juicy Couture, have yet to hear back. I had a great opportunity with a corporation here doing event planning, but I suppose someone was better qualified than me because i haven't heard back from that either. I even emailed about a 'matchmaker' and 'trivia host' position. Well the trivia guy wanted $5000 up front so i decided not to do it.

it is dropping down to the 60s or 70s at this point, which is just too cold for me. but winter is like hibernation extreme. so i can definitely say i had an absolutely amazing and awesome summer. sami and dom have become very close friends to me and they are my champion drinking buddies for sure. it's weird that it's practically an iup reunion whenever i go out, but i've managed to meet a good base of people.
i have no plans to leave pittsburgh, which is the exact opposite of what i thought would happen when i moved here. but there's a good amount of things to do, a good amount of culture, and people that actually give a shit about you. But everyone's right in saying stylewise-pittsburgh is 10 years behind every other city

717!?

2008-08-19T16:53:00.002-04:00

Todd emailed me worried about my last post so i suppose i should have written that it actually turned out to be one of the most hilarious stories ever.
After talking it over with all my roommates and friends, we didn't feel bad at all about what happened. So somebody is pulling some pranks in the neighborhood, but it's very obvious that the cops are friends with our neighbors and are just trying to scare us or make us angry. So even though Sami OWNS our house, the neighbor tattled on us to her parents. Like she can't handle herself.

Ironically enough, my roommates car got fucked with the next night. And i was woken up by some drunken people on my street and a car alarm. hmm.........

In other news, it's very interesting to be applying for jobs that i need a college degree for. It's nice going into an interview where people are happy to see that i attended IUP instead of it not mattering. But in bad news, salaries in Pittsburgh are ridiculously low.

Cops

2008-08-15T07:55:00.003-04:00

You know when cops came and used a helicopter to search for my friend Liz i excused it. I excused the face that they put my friends and i in handcuffs for wearing black and having tattoos because we went slip n sliding. I'm sure that's a huge offense and one of the worst things you could do on an elementary school's grounds in Las Vegas...
But really. Maybe I was being mouthy to them because I found it very offensive that they would accuse us of stealing or breaking into the school because we were young and wearing black. But that's when I learned to shut my mouth around cops.
Or maybe when the cop called us out on being the only young, white kids in our neighborhood and the reason we got robbed is because it was an 'inside job'. I mean forget the fact that my roommates are sitting there wearing their military uniforms. It couldn't be any of the poor, violent, underpriveleged kids that live there-it had to be us. An inside job
But I am not going to fucking excuse shit today. I woke up at 7:30 am to our neighbors banging on our door. Not my biggest deal-it was almost time to get up and continue my job search. But they accused somebody in my house of 'breaking into' their jeep. (i questioned, was anything stolen? they were offended at the question and said. ugh, no...but it was played around with) when one guy left my house to go to work, they chased him down and said he had to wait until the cops got there. really? an illegal house arrest by my neighbors?
point being, when the cops got there, insisted on taking my info (apparenlty a passport isn't as good as license. and god forbid my phone number area code does not match my living address). and only heard my neighbors side of the story. some guy in a white shirt opened a jeep with an automatic lock, played with the club inside the jeep, shut the door, and then walked down our alley way.
I tried to say 'our alley way is always unlocked, it clearly could have been someone else' or 'have you seen anyone here yet that was the person you saw in the car?' but it didn't matter what i said. the cops kept cutting me off saying 'i know you're hiding your friend in there that did it. and you just wait-when you get to be 50 years old and your kids are living with you, you won't want this shit to happen. you're still in school and you do'nt get it!'
really?? cause we all have jobs. we all have to wake up at 8 am for our jobs. so because we're 25 and fresh out of college and have tattoos and are shocked at people banging on our door at 7 am we're obviously the fucking culprit.

I get so angry when people look at me and think i'm an idiot because i'm young. I have absolutely no time to explain that I have a college degree. I graduated with a 3.9 Does that mean something? Absolutely. It means don't call me an idiot like you do. Don't talk down to me because you think age makes a difference in respect. It doesn't. I will never get along with authority figures that think they have a right to boss me around because they're an authority figure. A cop pulls me over because i'm speeding? Absolutly I will respect that. My house party is too loud? Call the cops on me-I deserve it! But fuck people that accuse me of shit because i don't 'have the right look' or i'm not 'of the age' to understand what's going on.

I got my first paycheck in 2 1/2 months!

2008-07-21T11:38:00.002-04:00

It's been a little bit over 2 months since I officially moved and left. I've started work and it's interesting to see how waking up in my house, putting on a work outfit and getting ready, and walking downstairs for my day of work will work out. It's lonely and boring because no one is around all day so i like it when friends come over just to sit in the next room and watch tv. And i did just buy a boombox so i can listen to the rap station and have it be like my old job.
Pittsburgh has also been pretty good. I'm really into finding different (and free) things to do around the city to discover the culture. Last weekend we went to a galley crawl. There's also movies every sunday night in oakland which has an amazing view. I tried to go to a free PSO in the park concert, but it got rained out.

We had a house party this weekend which was pretty fun. I was a bit dissapointed that it wasn't anywhere near the ragers we had in Vegas, but nothing seems to be as wild and crazy as Vegas was.
I'm looking forward to Todd's visits so I can go to some of the museums and galleries and I can't wait to go to a Pirates Game!
I love the location of my place, I can walk to plenty of bars, restaurants, a movie theater, vintage shops, and all my friends houses.
There's a lot to discover here, but unfortunately everyone i know has lived here their whole lives so it isn't too exciting for them. I guess i'll go out to eat by myself or just wait for visitors so I can find all that's great in Pittsburgh

The trip of summer 08

2008-06-21T09:24:00.003-04:00

I've been way too lazy to write this blog because I thought it would take too long. Buuuut most pictures are up on myspace or on my flickr

Since i blogged almost everyday, i'll just do a short rundown now that i've been to 14 states and another country in the last 2 months.
I started out heading to San Diego. I stopped at some rad photo spots on the way-Tio's Tacos and Queen Califah's Magic Garden. I met up with Crum that night and he took me out in Pacific Beach. I'd been there before and had a good time but it was a little dead that night. The next day i woke up and headed to the san diego zoo! i loved the polar bears, but there were a lot of birds and monkeys, which i don't care about. the zoo wasn't the massive place i thought it would be-good, but much more of a spectacle when you're in 3rd grade on a field trip. After that i headed to Oceanside which is an hour north of SD. I met up with sarah and hung out where she does which was fun. The next day i left to ride up the Pacific Coast Highway. This was one of my favorite parts of the trip-the scenery was absolutely amazing, it was pretty empty so you just pull over wherever you want to get out and look around and the weather couldn't have been better. It was just green grass, mountains, and clear blue water. I stopped by a really cute town called San Luis Obispo for some more photo-ops and then continued on the PCH up to Big Sur. This is where colored flowers start to come in. The drawbacks though-there are no gas stations for hours so fill up ahead of time! And going 25 miles an hour so your car doesn't fall off the cliff gets really annoying after 8 hours. I loved the view, but i was getting sick of nature by the end of the day. I ended that drive by heading to the Monterey Peninsula. I did the 17 mile drive there and saw some golf courses, Pebble Beach, amazing houses, crazy trees, and the ocean. I wish i had more time to explore there, it was beautiful. Then i spent a couple days visiting Chad in San Francisco and having a good time. I went to Napa next which was another one of my favorite parts of the trip. I took a shuttle with 7 other strangers and we went to 7 different wineries. I learned about making wine and actually know a bit more about what i like and what i don't when it comes to vino. My bed and breakfast was overpriced and i had to eat breakfast by myself in my room (it sounds as lame as it was). But i woke up real early and had a 15 hour drive to see Mikey Mike in Oregon. I drove through the Redwood Forest and was definitely getting sick of going slowly through all the windy roads at this point, but of course it looked amazing. I almost ran out of gas in the forest-another place where there weren't gas stations for hours!! Luckily a station appeared when I was on mile 17 of my empty light being on. I stopped by North Coast Brewery to pick up some of their belgian beer but the place sucked. Then i headed up to Eureka, CA to go to the loast coast brewery which was really rad! People there were friendly, it was a huge hippie/gutterpunk area, and things were real artsy. I definitely liked it. I discovered those 5 hour energy shots actually work (but it give me a stomach ache) and made it to Mikey's by 1 am.
I met up with Morgan in Eugene, OR and we walked around a kid's amusement park called Enchanted Forest. Then we headed up to Portland where i expected hipster kids riding fixies on every corner. Well it wasn't exactly that, but i spent a few days seeing where she worked, met her friends, and realized everybody likes to be real healthy there. i had some great food and saw Voodoo Donuts, and loved how you can drink everywhere-like salons, movie theaters, etc. They even do a naked bike race in Portland!
Aaron and i headed up to Washington after that. It's definitely awesome scenery-I can see why the pacific northwest is a huge backpacking place. Seattle seemed really awesome-we didn't really know where to go or what to do, but we went to the Market area, the shopping district, and all around the water. It was great seafood and I really liked the style of the city. We took a ferry to another part of Washington and "camped" with my old high school friend, Leslie. Then we went to Vancouver, which I had really high hopes for. It definitely wasn't as cool as Seattle. There were more homeless people than I've ever seen, if I had shopped I would have spent 2 times the amount on a purse or shirt, our hostel wasn't incredibly friendly, and nobody was out doing anything! We finally found people from around the world at another hostel and ended up making our own fun that night.
I drove through Idaho, which was completely boring and my least favorite state the whole trip, just to get to my hotel at a hot springs. There were hot springs all over the place in the midwest, so it was pretty cool to just relax in this huge hot tub with a cement bottom for awhile. This part of the trip started me being alone and not knowing anyone for about a week-but I was really exited to finally get some time to myself. I netflixed a movie that night on my laptop and fell asleep. The next day I drove up to Wyoming through Jackson Hole. The town is so cute, I loved it. People were so nice, and it was warm enough to not wear a coat but i could still see snow on the grass. I headed to the Grand Tetons and there was a huge tornado in Colorado which knocked all the credit card machines down. So-no $25 entrance fee! The tetons were beautiful and I got my favorite shots of my trip there. The drive through to Yellowstone took an hour and then once I got in Yellowstone it was all snow. The lake was frozen over and i just drove and drove waiting to get out of the snow. Well I finally did-there's sort of a loop and it's about 20 miles to each cool spot on the loop. Well i was really looking forwarding to seeing all the wildlife that Yellowstone is known for-but no. Nothing. I was actually kind of dissapointed that it wasn't as amazing as it looks in brochures or postcards or pictures. I did go to the Yellowstone Grand Canyon and saw a pretty awesome Waterfall. I think the park is named after all the stones which turn yellow from minerals. then again that could be a made up conversation i overheard. I had another 6 hours to my hotel that night so I got moving and stopped in Cody, WY for some steak and to see a really western town. I know it's all for tourists-but the places in the midwest were awesome. Real saloons and streets lined with flat buildings that really look western. There were gun fight reinacters, and i think i fit in because i had my cowboy boots on the whole time. I had the worst drive of my trip that night-I hit Big Horn at Sunset and as my altitude got higher and higher, I was driving around these windy forest roads where there was so much snow I couldn't see grass. Add to that no lights on the roads, and then the fog started. I was driving in the middle of the road because the only thing I could faintly see were the yellow lines. I couldn't pull over because i might have fallen off a cliff! I was moving 5 miles an hour for hour, and then I saw a car in front of me. Well their headlights helped me relax a little bit, we sped up to 10 miles an hour, and after another 60 minutes we were out of the forest!
The next day I woke up early to go to South Dakota-which was another huuuge favorite of mine!! The sites to see are all real close so it's an easy drive. I stopped by Bedrock City-the Flinstones themed trailer park. Well it was $9, totally not worth it, but i got some funny pictures. It was raining on and off that day, which sucked, but it started after I went into the Crazy Horse Memorial. The carving is crazy-it started I believe in the 50s and only the man is worked on, not the horse. I can't imagine when it will be finished. I did learn a bit about the native american history there, I'm still confused though...guess that's why history was my worst subject. I went up to Mt. Rushmore and they didn't accept credit cards so I got out of paying as well-but i thought karma would catch up with me so I went back and gave the lady money. In case you didn't know, it's pretty massive. I think the artist had wanted their bodies and hands from what i saw on the original mockups but that obviously didn't happen! The area where people stand it pretty far away and way lower than the mountain, but i thought the museum there and everything were really pretty and very good for a tourist spot. I didn't get to drive through Custer State Park because I was so tired, so I just drove up to Deadwood which was where I stayed. I didn't get any pictures, which is a shame, cause it was my favorite overnight stay the whole trip. Rich had tipped me off to this place-which is a gambling/western/touristy spot. Just look at this to get an idea. Well my hotel was really cute, I played some table black jack, and the whole place was just really fun. I definitely would have had a good time if somebody was with me there.
The next day I drove across South Dakota which is the most broing 5 hours. Luckily there's stupid little things for road trippers to do to break up the day-like Wall Drug-this huge drug store in the middle of nowhere where coffee is 10 cents and you can get a bunch of souvenirs. The next random spot was 1880 town-my favorite tourist trap! It was a town preserved from 1880 (i think) and you could put costumes on and sit in the saloon if you wanted! I made it to Corn Palace-which I really thought was going to be a building made of corn. Well it wasn't-it just had murals made of corn. The people there were pretty rude-I never experienced the extreme friendlyness that's supposed to make up the midwest. I made it to the Mall of America that night-and talk about another dissapointment! I guess this place was awesome when no other malls existed, but it didn't have any cool specialty spots like I thought it would-just your average stores.
The next day i headed to Minneapolis. It was pretty dead because it was Memorial Day. I have a feeling I would really like the city if i knew what to do there. It seemed very artsy. There were bridges between all the building so you never had to walk outside in the cold. I met up with Tom and we had some drinks after i made him see the Queers with me. The next day I drove through Wisconsin. I stopped by Leinenkugel Brewery which I was very excited about. It was my first brewery tour and I got to sample their Berry Weiss and Summer Shandy-I'll stick with the Sunset Wheat. I made it to Madison that night-again, totally dissapointed in the place. The guy at my hostel was really awesome but no one else was friendly. I just seemed like a college town to me. I did try going to Gumby Pizza-but they weren't open!
I went to Milwaukee the next day which I totally loved! I went to a Brewers game and saw them win while drinking some Miller.
I headed to Chicago the next day and stopped by the most entertaining restaurant of the trip-The Choo Choo. A little toy train delivers all the food! Chicago was awesome, i realized how cheap it was and I loved the Wrigleyville area that Brian and Terry live in. There were so many places to go and things to see-I'm really thinking about moving there.
I headed to Michigan to see Mark the next day. Ann Arbor is really cute and Detroit is not at all. Then I went down through Ohio to see relatives.
I arrived in Pittsburgh and stayed for about 4 days. I know I'm going to have a lot of fun and I already know so many people there. I just want to meet different people and make sure that I get a lot out of living there. Which means I'm going to be at a lot of Stillers games.

So, in short, if you're taking a roadtrip through the midwest, or anywhere I did, the PCH is a must! Yellowstone isn't the greatest, but Jackson Hole is. The Black Hills area in South Dakota was my favorite spot. And I love Seattle and Chicago!

Day 24

2008-05-30T18:58:00.003-04:00

I left Milwaukee yesterday after trying to explore some of the different neighborhoods. I went to the third world market and walked around to a couple different boutiques. I headed to Chicago but made sure to stop by the Mars Cheese Castle and pick up a cow-shaped batch of cheddar and ate some summer sausage. then i went to a restaurant that brought me my grilled cheese by train!! (pics coming soon). i went into chicago and met up with terry. we had martinis at the specialty lounge. well it wasn't called that but something close. it was on the 96th floor of one of the tallest buildings downtown. i drove through lincoln park and then met up with brian in wrigleyville. we got some cheap scalped tickets for the cubs game and went there to drink old style all night. we made sure to stop by the cubby bear bar on our way back for a full chicaaaago experience. after being a bit hungover this morning, i walked around his neighborhood and actually realized this is exactly where amy and i were the last time so i just shopped around. i'm headed over to terry's to grill and tonight the penns are not playing (totally dissapoitned, but i will be detroit for the game tomorrow), but hopefully we're all going to weiner's circle tonight!!

Day 23: I Think i like this place!

2008-05-29T09:52:00.002-04:00

It was a short drive from Minnesota to Madison. I got to stop by one of the best parts of my trip-the Leinenkugel beer tour! I got 2 free samples, so i tried the berryweiss and it tasted like sparkling wine and i tried the summershandy which was like a lemonade beer. ick...ill stick to my sunset wheat. anyway, they've been around since the 1800s and make everything right there on sight. miller now owns them, which i guess works out well because i can get it anywhere. I stopped by a cheese shop and got some pepperjack cheese curds. im not sure if they're the right thing-they just look like little chunks of cheese. i got to my hostel in madison totally not in the mood to have 5 roommates for the night, but that's alright for 23 bucks. the guy running it told me of some good bars so i headed downt to the hippyish/co op area. i can definitely tell the town used to be full of hippies! at least there were people out and live music on a tuesday night. i headed to some divebars and found myself in a gay bar. clearly nobody was in the mood to talk to me there so i walked into a punk bar. since i was sick of not talking to anyone the whole night, i spoke to some madison folk. turns out they've all grown up and lived there their whole life. hey, maybe it's a much cooler place than i experienced. after waking up way too early the next morn, i tried to find a bagel in the town, but i think the midwest hates bagels!!! there's a gumby pizza in the town but they weren't open. i also stopped by ella's deli-it has a carousel and all these ridiculous animated toys in the windows. well that wasnt open either.
I headed to Milwaukee and stopped by the mustard museum! It's really just full of hilarious mustard advertisements. It had mustards catoragized by fruit, vege, beer, pepper, etc. flavors. I picked some up and then i headed to the Pabst Mansion!! I learned a lot about dear ol' Capn Pabst. He used to own a fleet ship and then married someone in the beer business and made the pabst name what it is today! the mansion was pretty damn amazing. then i headed to miller valley! man was it miller time there. it takes up 82 acres or something ridiculously large like that. i didn't realize miller made old english, sparks, mickeys, fosters, and peroni. i now understand a little more of the beer process. i sat down with a bunch of young guys to try our 3 samples. yes, i got to sample miller light, mgd, and then peroni. it was miller time!!
i got back to my hotel and waited around for a bus to take me to the brewers game. after an hour of sitting in the 50 degree weather, i just drove. turns out i didn't have to pay for parking, but i walked in during the 6th inning. miller park was pretty awesome but the retracting roof was covered. it was a pretty good game and the brewers won at the last minute. the beer was way cheaper than the dodgers but the hot dogs were way worse. i got back to my neck of the woods and there are a good amount of german bars. i walked into the hofbrau house and had a hefeweissen. some guy ran up and gave me a beer and said he bought it for me. i said, half of it is gone! so he just left it on the table and ran away. haha. anyway, i'm really excited about exploring the different parts of town today. i love the german atmosphere and that everyone loves beer here! it's definitely a cool city.

Day 20

2008-05-27T00:38:00.003-04:00

I get pretty fucking tired at this point to be blogging about my trip. I had a 14 hour drive two days ago, 12 hours the next day, and the most boring 11 hours yesterday to the Mall of America.
I left Deadwood and I stopped by "1880 town" which was this ridiculously awesome town preserved (i think?) from 1880. everything was sooo western, it was so awesome. i didn't make it to the pioneer auto museum because i was running short on time. i did stop by the corn palace in mitchell, south dakota. it was a big arena and the front had murals made out of corn. pretty cool, but these old ladies inside had a problem with my red hair. i suppose my cowboy boots fit in well in the west, but not my hair. i skipped sioux falls so i could make it to the mall before it closed.
I got to the Mall of America with an hour to spare. This place might have been cool when it first opened and nobody else had the same stores! but it wasn't even as cool as the Fashion Show Mall (which i really hated going to), and just seemed like another Towson Town. There was an amusement park in the middle (much like the adventure dome) which is cool, but i was by myself and not in the mood. I got some shoes at nordstrom and moved on. I stayed in the boring town of Bloomington, MN and went to bed early.
Today i woke up and didn't know exactly what to explore in Minneapolis. I went to the sculpture garden, which was definitely cool. The spoon/cherry sculpture is actually a fountain and much cooler to see in person. I went to the St. Paul Cathedral and headed to uptown Minn. There was some shopping and restuarants, but then i headed back downtown to my hotel. People were walking around in tshirts and shorts and it's only about 50 degrees. Damn i would not be able to stand it! Tom, Hilary's friend, picked me up after a nap and we went to eat at the Nicollet Mall area. Then we headed to the Triple Rock Social Club to see the Queers play! I know why they were so much more enjoyable when i was 16 years old... We had some beers then we left.
I take it this city loves bowling! And that there is much more to the music and cultural scene then i could experience in a day. There's not much to tour in a city by yourself. Once you've done the few museums/restaurant/bar things, that's it. you don't really get any scenery, and any idea for the place is best experienced through locals and actually hanging out for awhile. Unfortunately, the rest of my trip is all cities. Oh well, i'm really excited to get to pittsburgh and home at this point. I just want to be around people i know and am comfortable with. And i really have to get a pedicure

Day 18

2008-05-25T00:08:00.002-04:00

It's 10 and i have to go to bed :(. Apparently the mall of america closes at 7 on sundays so i'm going to try to make it on the road at 5 am! WOOOO. Yesterday was about 15 hours of driving. After leaving Idaho, i stopped in Jackson Hole, WY. It was so cute!! It was such a little ski town with great shops and people. Then i headed through the Grand Teton Forest. The Tetons were amazing, but the hour drive of the same thing was getting on my nerves a bit. Then i entered Yellowstone. I stuck to the east side so my driving could be a limited amount. I saw the Grand Canyon of the park, a waterfall, hot springs, and yup i think that's about it. there wasn't much wildlife. there wasn't really much at all. it was still cool though. then i drove through cody which was this ridiculously western town in wyoming. apparenlty the fake gun fights don't start until june but i still stopped to eat dinner at a western saloon where some man was singing country music. i can't believe saloons actually exist and these towns really look like the old west. i woke up this morning and headed to South Dakota. It was a real overcast and rainy, but that's alright. I stopped by Crazy Horse Memorial. It's nuts how long it's going to take to finish the whole carving. Then i went to Mt. Rushmore which was really awesome. You cant get anywhere even close to it, but the 1/16th sized model in their visitors center was big enough. The eyes are my favorite part. I didn't have time to go to Custer State Park, but i did go to Bear USA! Sure it was like a zoo and all the animals were a bit sedated, but i loved that bears were walking around! They were right beside the cars and i loved it. I was running too late for the gold mine tour and the president sculpture park which was a dissapointment, but i like my hotel! It's this little western styled room in Deadwood. I love the town, there's casinos in total western style all up the main street. Unfortunately i'm by myself and want to go to bed, so it isn't nearly as fun as it could be.

Day 16

2008-05-23T00:15:00.002-04:00

We arrived back in Portland yesterday, very tired and hungover. We had a totally awesome lsat night in canada-finally found a good bar to go to. it was called the cambie and was underneath the other good hostel. we met people from around canada there and then rolled to a punk rock pub up the street for some karaoke. aaron and i pretended to be brother and sister, but as a result he was stuck talking to a 40 year old and a 21year old who had puked on himself kept talking to me. nonetheless, it made canada seem wayyy better. but the beer prices still sucked.
portland was awesome last night. the show is the rainbow was playing, and as always, was the best time ever. we went to an arcade with a bar in it, a hot dog bar, and the space room-where i got some sweet space punch! i love how there's so many themed places in the town. we also had really good food at 'the farm'.
i had a super long drive today, about 10 1/2 hours to get to the lava hot springs in idaho. it's raining but it turns out that's ok because the hot springs are very hot and the rain coming down totally cools you off. i have no tv in my room so i'm glad there is internet! i have to share a bathroom, but i'm pretty sure there's only one other guest here.
the beginning of the drive was amazing outside of portland. i saw a waterfall and all the woods were beautiful. after that was extremely boring. i stopped by boise, and from what i saw, it sucked. well, there wasn't much to it i'll say. tomorrow is supposed to rain which sucks, but i'm still going to yellowstone! it's a hella long driving day as well but at least i get a nice scenic break in the middle.

i can't find any potatoes. i'm kinda pissed about that

Day 14

2008-05-20T21:12:00.002-04:00

Netflix doesn't work in Canada. Blame Canada!

Well the day before i left portland i met up with aaron and we walked a lot and took the FREE!!! public transportation. we went and did some shopping and drinking in the downtown area. we stopped at voodoo donuts, which is hilarious. some will be covered in bacon, some in cereal, they have 'cock and balls shaped donuts."

i met back up with morgan for a drink and then danced to 80s all night. eventually we went to the roxy for some food after dancing. it's drag/quinton tarentino themed. the service and food were not good and i thought it sounded way more interesting then it actually was.
i took a lot of days in portland so i could check it out as a place to live. everyone talks it up so much i expected a lot from it. it wasn't a lot. there's hipsters riding bikes to cafes and sitting around drinking coffee and having beers everynight. there's a downtown, then there's places away from the downtown that are still fun. It just seems like it would be another las vegas to me: people into their 30s still doing coke and drinking a lot because being a bartender or waitress still pays better than any other job. it's pretty small as well. but from what i'm told, there's just so many outdoorsy things to do in the summer that it makes up for the cold and rainy winter. aaron lives there, and is a lot like me, and agrees that i wouldn't like it. but anyway, i'm heading back tomorrow to see the show is the rainbow!! i didn't really see much while i was there, so hopefully we can go to the beach and then some good themed bars/restaurants. i will say that my breakfast was pretty damn amazing.

aaron and i left for seattle and i was soo amazed at the city when we drove in. the skyline is right on the water and it was such a beautiful day. we spent the first part in and out of all the kitchy/touristy shops. one called the 'ye olde curiosty shop' had random things like shrunken heads and mummies, but then postcards/shot glasses/tshirts. we ate amazing mussels, clams, shrimp, and crap at 'the crab pot'.

then we headed to pike place but it was closing down. we found out where we were staying and eventually took a bus to pioneer square-which is where all the bars are. we went in central which is usually a great place for bands, but it happened to be country night! so we just walked in somewhere else for drinks. i think if we had known more where to go then it would have been a little more fun. the next day we woke up and went to pike place. there's a lot of fresh fish but i missed somebody catching one! there were tons of flowers and crafts, coffee shops. we walked around that area then headed to the space needle. since it's hella expensive to go up, we went over to the science fiction museum/jimmy hendrix music experience. somehow we started walking up the exit and had completely bypassed paying to get in to the music experience. it explained all about the early blues and jazz era and then pictures and pictures of the grunge area-seemed pretty awesome to be living there at that time. we could play on guitars/keyboards/electric drums. it was pretty neat.

then we left for poulsbo, wa to see leslie, my high school friend. i had to drive on a ferry which i was totally nervous about, but was really easy. it took about 4 hours to get to that area and we made a last minute decision to all go camping! i...have never been camping before. meanwhile, men were walking in this bar with fresh oysters and were offering me some. that was after they made fun of me for my red hair and nose rings. oh smalltowns...
we ended up camping out on leslie's boyfriends farm because stateparks were closed by the time we figured everything out. we toasted some marshmallows and hot dogs and after a couple sips of wine i was passed out. aaron and i slept outside to make it 'real authentic'-basically we were on sleeping bags in the middle of a field on a sloping hill. we would wake up almost falling into the fire pit a few times. at 5:30 the sun was up and it was had to sleep much after that, so we just headed for canada.

we did the good old currency exchange-got less canadian dollars back then i had for american. these 1 and 2 (loonies and tunies) coins are kind of annoying. it makes my pockets heavy! well our hostel is right downtown, it's pretty cozy but everyone isn't as nice here as i thought. we walked around last night and found the shopping districts, harbor area, and the place all the locals go to party. apparenlty it was queen elizabeth's birthday and everyone in the city partied so hard sat and sun that no one wanted to come out on monday! that sounded pretty ridiculous to us, but all the bartenders insisted that's what the deal was. then we found some bar called the railway that usually has good bands. i went to order beer and asked for the trashiest cheap beer. she was like oh my god,ew well...i have canadian. we were like oh perfect!! well a bottle was $5.20. and this is a divebar?? the cost of alcohol is definitely not cheap. so we went back home a bit drunk, and totally dissapoitned that there wasn't much around.
we woke up today and went to some shops on Robson. We walked all the way to Stanley Park, which is sort of like Central Park. We found the aquarium and then took a bus to Commercial Drive. On the way is Hastings, which is the most amount of homeless people/drug addicts i've ever seen gathered in one area. They were trading clothes for food with each other. Saw someone shooting up heroin-yup it was great. They didn't bother us-but i was glad i wasn't alone. Commercial Drive ended up being shops and restaurants-and since a dress that would $50 US costs $150 Canadian, i didn't want to shop. We asked a local where some good bars were-but no one knows anything. They're all telling us about this pub down the street. We'll try to hit that up tonight but maybe pregame. Even though the liquor store prices are $24 for the smallet vodka bottle and MGD is about 24 a case here haha.
Soo....there's not a whole lot to do on a weekday in Vancouver. It's pretty damn expensive. But gas is $1.34 a gallon!!!

and here's posts of good pictures along my way so far
http://www.flickr.com/photos/26633085@N07/sets/72157605092614859/

Day 10

2008-05-16T13:56:00.002-04:00

I decided not to go out last night. I'm a bit burned out and want to just chill. I miss having a room to go hang out with myself in and i miss knowing everybody. Oh well-today Aaron's going to take me to do some shopping and then he wants to go dance to 80's music. I'm having fun sharing clothes with Morgan and enjoying the extremely nice weather. I'm not sure what will be going on with the next few days of Seattle and Vancouver-plans have sort of fallen apart, but as long as I'm up this way it would really be stupid not to just go visit. Since dad has been begging me to put some pictures up on Flicker, i've spent about an hour today editing some (rich was right, it's really annoying)

Day 9

2008-05-16T00:55:00.001-04:00

I'm leaving to go out again.
We've explored Portland and seen lots of bars, restaurants, shops, there's something for everything on every corner. and not that many bikers/hipsters. i'm surprised.

Day 8

2008-05-14T19:42:00.002-04:00

I'm sitting on Morgan's bed, beside her, in a mess of all her clothes. So it's pretty much my old house. And she has a bunch of vitamins and healthy things she's trying to feed me.

I drove 15 hours yesterday, and miraculously wasn't tired. I stopped by Fort Bragg which was horrible!! there is no reason to go there, especially not for the North Coast brewery. But i did stop by there for some lunch. Then I had to continue up the PCH, which was really slow and bit annoying at this point of the trip, but there was some great flowers and beach areas. Then i got to Legget which has some great tourist tree areas, i drove through a redwood, i walked around "Confusion Hill", i really tried to find Hobbiton but no luck! The rest of the drive to Eureka took forever!! But i did drive through Redwood Forest so i can't complain too much.
I ate dinner at the Lost Coast Brewery. It was really good food, and i had a tangerine wheat beer which was amazing! There were so many gutterpunks eating at this place. A lady started talking to me explaining that the town was very much like a poor man's San Francisco/Berkely, and hippies are very frequent. It was way too cold and overcast for my liking, but an interesting area nonetheless. I started back the forever drive through the redwoods not filling up my gastank. In case you didn't know before now, there are no gas stations on the PCH or in the forest (for about 100 miles)! So my empty light goes on, it's getting really dark, and i was freaking out thinking what i would possibly do! Then a gas station appeared and i was saved. The drive on 5 was really boring after that, but luckily it was night and i had an energy drink so i didn't care. I passed a lot of great spots i missed, like an air tram you can ride around the forest. I met up with mikey mike in corvallis, the town of OSU. it didn't have a huge amount of stuff, but we went out for a drink and he does live in an ex-frat house so it was pretty

I woke up this morning and met Morgan in Salem, OR where we went to Enchanted Forest!! For hilary (and anyone else from pa), it's kinda like Dutch Wonderland. In otherwords, not a place i would ever go as a local-but I was completely entertained! Many pictures to come.
We drove into Portland and i'm just chilling now to go out tonight. We might go white water rafting while i'm here which is totally exciting!

Day 7

2008-05-13T11:52:00.001-04:00

Today is gonna be long! I'm up early in my bed and breakfast (which wasn't nearly worth the money i paid for it. or maybe it's that i'm sleeping alone in a romantic place). Breakfast is served soon-but i have to eat alone! the regular table is already full, isn't that sad??
I'm gonna roll down to the farmers market in a bit and pick up some strawberries and zucchini for mikey mike and i. Then i head up the coast again and visit Lost Coast and North Coast breweries and all the cheesy tourist traps in the redwoods area. I finally started editing some pictures, but it takes forever!

What day is it (i'm drunk)

2008-05-12T21:41:00.002-04:00

Well today I'm in Napa. Last night was fun-we stayed near the city and Chade and I went to see Kevin's band at a bar in Berkeley. We went to 'the mission' area in the city-some awesome views at Dolores park-and lots of thrift store and BIKER! OMG there's so many bikers everywhere!!!
anyway, i left real early in the morning to make it here on time. And as soon as i got here, the napa wine shuttle picked me up and we went to 7 different wineries. that's 4-5 glasses of tasting at each place. i was pretty toasted by number 3. we went to black stallion, some kosher winery, monticello, walt disney's daughter, andretti's place, goose garden (?), and some other thing i clearly ccan't remember at this piont. i went with 7 other people and we all bonded by at leat the 3rd or 4th time because well..we ddrank a lot of wine.
i'm at my bed and breakfast. it's a bit expensive for what it is, but i guess that's alright. i'm spoiling myself on this trip. i want to go with hilary and take hot air balloon rides and everything!
well now i'm taking a nap and then taking myself out for a steak dinner. it better be good...and i better stop drinking.

tomorrow-breweries, redwoods, and mikey mike!

Day 5

2008-05-11T14:34:00.002-04:00

After a Dodgers game and a night in Hollywood, yesterday was the most amazing drive ever. I really enjoyed Sedona, AZ, and this was just as good! I got out of LA and got my car washed at "Hand Car Wash" (Picture coming soon). Anyway, they scammed me out of $35 but whatevs.
Then i drove out to Pismo Beach and got me some fish and chips in a little beach town. I went to San Luis Obispo and totally loved it! It definitely would have been rad to stay in the town-there were lots of bars and shops and looked like a lot of fun. Then I got on the 1 at Morro Bay. It was so amazing-i stopped every 5 miles it seemed like to take pictures. Once I reached Big Sur, the flowers got even more colorful. It was a beat creepy/annoying to be going 20 mph up all the windy hills and knowing there was no gas stations for about 100 miles. It was about dusk when I reached Monterey Peninsula which kind of sucked because I wanted to explore a lot (mainly for Sami. She literally called the Monterey visitors center week after week in 7th grade to get brochures from them). I did go on the 17 mile drive and saw Pebble Beach which was really pretty. There was white sand, huge rocks, and it was pretty amazing at sunset.
I rolled up to San Jose and Chad, Kevin, and I went to a bar in the city that reminded me of the Double Down so i liked it. So now we are headed to explore more of the city and hopefully meet up with another Hanover friend.

WOOOOOOOOOO

Day 4

2008-05-10T11:31:00.001-04:00

Well I'm really tired and I can't sleep anymore because i have this mental alarm clock that wakes me up at 7:30 am. which might be good because i have a really long drive ahead of me today. i'm headed up the PCH to san jose.

Day 3

2008-05-09T13:42:00.002-04:00

I paid $3.99 just to write a blog. And to check my myspace duh...
Anyway, i'm sitting in Barnes and Nobles with Sarah and we're being geeks on our laptop. Yesterday was great-I went to the San Diego Zoo! I thought it'd be a million times bigger with way more different species, but that's alright. I could get through it comfortably in 3 hours. My favorte was the polar bear-he was swimming and walking. The pands were a huge deal but were cute. And koala bears! They were sleeping the whole time but one poked his head up and I saw the furry ears. There was a pretty leopard, lots of birds, not too many snakes, and some ugly camels.
I've been playing around a lot with my new camera hoping i could get some badass shots this trip, but nothing is turning out too well. I guess practice makes perfect!
Then i met up with Sarah in Vista/Oceanside. It was a cute little town and we got some good beer deals pretty early in the evening. California is definitely not Vegas when it comes to partying-I think people are getting a bit fed up with me trying to be obnoxious. I don't like that, but we'll see how Hollywood is tonight.
I'm heading up to LA in an hour, hopefully heading to Venice beach and going to see a Dodgers game.

Day 2

2008-05-08T13:57:00.002-04:00

Well I drove to San Diego yesterday. My camera card is being really stupid and won't let me save pictures!! But here are some. First I stopped at 'Tio's Tacos' in Riverside. They had these amazing sculptures made out of everyday stuff. I didnt get any food though-because i hate mexican. Then I stopped in Escondido at "Queen Califa's Magical Circle" It was this rad mosaic sculpture area in the middle of a park. I got some pictures to save from there

I drove into San Diego and explored the Gaslamp District. It seems a bit yuppy, but it's really pretty. The arcitecture (sp?) is very modern and colorful! I saw the convention area, harbor, and finally parking to do some shopping. I ate at Pokez (Despite me hating mexican). It was kind of hipster so it was interesting. Then i met up with Crum and went to the Silver Fox in PB to drink.
I'm leaving now to explore the zoo!!

Day 1

2008-05-07T11:22:00.002-04:00

It has come. My glorious road trip back to PA! I'm very excited-today I'm heading out to San Diego. I'll have a bit of a late start so I won't make it to the zoo until tomorrow. But along with leaving comes a lot of sadness for what i'll miss in vegas. Like i did with baltimore, and in no particular order, my favorite and most missed things of vegas:

The Double Down
$1.99-$3.99 steak and egg breakfasts
Thrift shopping with Sarah
Paul Paul: His little ears, his cracked tongue, his beard, his stupid dad humor-all of it. I miss him already
Buddy
The weather (from September-May)
Freemont St!!
Watching HOTS and Six Shooters play at the Clam/Bunkhouse/wherever
Open bar everyday of the week (Spy on Vegas and Treasures)
Amazing restaurants everywhere
I'm 4 hours from Hollywood
Being crazy with all the friends I made
My job and that they take me on stuff like houseboats and go carts
Themed/costume parties
Strip adventures
The shopping (Zappos, Caesars, H and M, Savers)
About 10,000 bars to go to that aren't too expensive
Knowing somebody every time I go out
Riding my lowrider bike around with bmxers
People actually coming to visit-Because it's Vegas
Seeing hookers, fake boobies, and elvi on a regular basis
Being able to buy beer anywhere
Being able to go anywhere at anytime-i will surely miss a 24 hour town

The reason for the leavin'

2008-04-30T17:28:00.002-04:00

People keep asking me why i'm moving home. I've got no answer. It's a mix of 'well, i was gonna try to go to school...but that didn't work out' or 'well my family and friends are out there' or 'i guess i like to move every 2 years'
this move just seems..kind of random. not just to other people, but a bit to me the closer it gets. every other big decision that's worked out for me has always ended up just falling on me. moving to baltimore? i had to cause i was getting out of school. going to las vegas? had to-my lease ran up. breaking up with a dude?-he stopped liking me. started this job?-i got fired at my other one.
i'm sure there's been many other times that i made a decision just because, and not due to anything pushing me. but this seems bigger, like it's the only time i've really done something so rash for no apparent reason.
i'm not sick of las vegas. if anything, it's the only place that has felt like home besides hanover. there's more restaurants i could go to. there's more open bars that i would enjoy. i meet new people every month that are fun to go out with. my boyfriend and i have a lot of fun and it feels so comfortable with him. i'm sure i'm just getting sentimental at this point and realize how much i'm going to miss about this place. but maybe it is that this is a random, rash decision with no greener grass on the other side.
i'm sooo excited for my road trip and i'm just trying to take it day by day and not worry too much about what i'll feel like after i move. hope that works!

Doggy Days

2008-04-24T17:53:00.001-04:00

OH MY DOG!

(should i be taking a detour just to stay here?)

First week of the adventure [CA to OR]

2008-04-17T15:02:00.004-04:00

I've been looking forward to my cross country trip for sometime now, but as it's getting closer i've been nailing down my definite plans. I guess i could just pull up to any cheap motel and spend the night and pull over when i see something entertaining on the highway, but i'm a bit of a planner (i am related to hilary after all), and figure it might save me a bit of money to book in advance.

So i've officially made my plans for the first week of the trip.
I will no longer be going to cinco de mayo in mexico :(. but will still start out in san diego. My hopes are to go to seaworld, the zoo, and/or the gaslamp district, but we'll see what the friends i have there can actually afford it-and which ones even decide to let me stay on their couch.
then i'll be heading up to la to meet with hanover friends and just party in hollywood/silverlake, or wherever the hits are. i've never hit up too many touristy spots in this city, though, so i hope to see the cat face drain covers and maybe the tar pits. If i end up staying more than a day, i wouldn't mind heading down to venice beach again or seeing the dodgers play!
after that i'm taking the pacific coast highway all the way up san francisco. i hear it's going to be an amazing view and a really fun road to drive. i haven't come across anything too funny for the way up yet, but that's alright.
once in san fran (though i'm not sure if chade still lives there or in san jose), this time i'd actually like to see monopoly park and fillmore street and maybe super gay pride things! Bigfoot should be a pretty good spot to stop and drink, and i hear there's a really fun sushi/saki bomb joint. I wouldn't mind seeing a Giants game either
I go to one of my favorite parts of the trip the next day-Napa Valley! I'll be staying in a nice Bed and Breakfast. But when i first get there, i'll be picked up by the winery shuttle to help me explore all the wonderful wineries in the area. Then i'm sure i'll be down for a delicious dinner in one of the surrounding restaurants. The next day before i'm off, i'll have to stop by the farmer's market
i was considering heading to sacramento to check that city out, but i've decided to just keep heading northeast so i can look at the all the amazing trees. On the way will be 2 very interesting breweries, North Coast (im really digging pranqster) and then Lost Coast (great white is good). Hopefully i can enjoy the trees after the beers! Most importantly, and hopefully still open, will be Hobbiton, USA. An area completely reinacting the Hobbit!!

It's a shame i'm not stopping by Lakehead, CA because this sounds absolutely amazing!

On the way to Mikey Mike's in Eugene, OR i was hoping to stop by the Oregon Vortex but it looks like it closes too early.
After that I head up to Portland to visit Morgan. Hopefully she's down to go to The Enchanted Forest! The rest of the time she better have some great tour fun all planned out!

Maxed Out

2008-04-11T17:25:00.002-04:00

I watched Maxed Out last night, the documentary about the credit card industry of America. Very interesting, and i wish people that actually ran up thousands of dollars in credit card debt would be the ones to watch it. But overall i was dissapointed in the view they took in this movie.
They placed so much blame on the credit card companies for charging outrageous fees and interest rates. They make you feel bad for these families that lose their houses and their cars and end up wanting to commit suicide because the companies want their money.
Am i the only one who finds a problem in that? The real wrong is people who are spending all this money. They think they're victims because their belongings are being repossessed? They spent the money! You can't just except to buy all these things in credit and never have to pay it back. You're borrowing money-that doesn't come free.
I wholeheartedly agree with the collection agencies that they made out to be assholes (or maybe it's because i thought it seemed like a great job!). They said: if you spend the money-you have to give it back. They track down people everyday to get the money back. I've been around friends who ignore these calls every single day-they don't have the money. But they're going to have to get it!
The real problem is that people live incredibly outside their means. Why do you have to buy a house? Because that's what families do? What's the big deal? If you can't afford a mortgage payment, what is the joy in even having the house? The people in the movie were upset that they had to sell their collectables-why do they need them? What about these material things make their lives complete?
The only people to blame in debt are the people who are making debt. They believe all ads that say they need the right clothes, the best cars, this service and that service to be happy. Why?
There was a point where i was living paycheck to paycheck. I'm not saying it wasn't stressful of how i would pay my bills-but i certainly didn't go buy things or take myself out to dinner and just charge my card so i could pay when i would somehow miraculously have money. Now that i'm making better money, I'm definitely living different-but i'm still living within my means.
I will charge something in my card when i know i can pay it off. That's a simple fact that if everyone followed-there would be no debt.

Heartset

2008-04-10T13:41:00.002-04:00

It's weird how sometimes I'm completely able to roll with the punches, and other times ill stick to my plans no matter how good doing the opposite would be.
For example, when i quit/got fired/whatever craziness happened in january-no biggie. i just chilled out, practiced, made some clothes, and didn't have a full time job for about 2 months. I started a new job, it's going great.
A lot of times I'll get really upset about how things are going, but they always work out in the end. Having to leave my friends in my previous cheap house? Upset at first, but now i like my new roommate. A dude totally dicks me over? Fine-i meet another dude next that treats me way better.
But sometimes I have my heart set on new opportunities and can't change my opinion on it. Like when i went for my audition at Temple. I made up my mind that i hated Philadelphia before going there. I auditioned and probably wouldn't have gone even if i did get in. Same with Los Angeles, I'd already made up my mind that I didn't want to live there. Well I'm planning my trip back to Pennsylvania. Moving to Pittsburgh has become a failsafe option for me, but now I've totally convinced myself of loving it. I suppose if i really build something up, it makes me not regret leaving things behind. At any rate, I'm leaving a great job here that has such potential. Besides that, there are a ton of jobs in LA right now that i could be applying for in the music industry.
I just feel like I wouldn't even want them because i'm already so excited for this cross country trip and living near my friends. But that's pretty stupid-friends with a probability of a job, or somewhere else where i'm guaranteed one. I guess it comes down to the fact that i'm afraid of settling somewhere too soon.

Baseball Glory

2008-04-04T10:44:00.002-04:00

I love baseball games. Prehaps it's that they're cheap and so am i. or maybe it's that they're kind of trashy but a bit suitable for an entire family. Like me!!!!
Anyway, I've decided that it would be totally fun if i can try to see as many baseball games exploring the country as possible. I'm going to attempt to watch the Twins, the Cubs, the Mariners, the Brewers...ok so that's all i have so far.

Anyway, remember that game that one of the hot dogs knocked over the other one? Or was that a peirogi?

http://cg.channel.aol.com/photo-gallery/weird-baseball-traditions

My Portfolio

2008-03-28T10:20:00.002-04:00

No, not like the painting kind. The financial kind (oooo). Since I struggled and barely pulled a B in Finance 101, I decided books and internet research wouldn't be good enough to educate myself on investments. So i went to somebody!
Since I'm pretty scared of losing the money I've saved in case of some freak accident (ahem, no health insurance), making a rash decision of buying some real great car or house, or not getting another job, he showed me some options that would make more money than it would lose money. He said most people don't start investing until they're in their 30s so it's good i start now. But he suggested just getting my feet wet in things that won't have the biggest return, so therefore won't be as big a risk.
Another option is dealing with the investments i've apparenlty had since i was a child from my mom and grandma. Since I don't have much emotional attachment to these and they're not worth too much, I think I'm going to put that into an index. It's not as specialized as an individual fund which can lose my money quickly; it's spread out amongt 25 different companies.
Since I'm so obsessive about money, it'll be hard to just let this money go and ride the market until I'm quite a bit older. But you can't make money without taking some risk. It's better than just leaving it in the bank. So, for my next career endeavor: plan to make a whole bunch of money again next year. To reinvest of course!

It's official

2008-03-26T17:43:00.002-04:00

I'm not going to school. I'm not upset I spent the money, or the time, or even more money. I'm really proud of myself that I tried. I knew before I went to IUP and when I graduated IUP that I didn't want to attempt to be a professional musician in my near future. But, 3 years has passed, and my teacher said 'i knew you'd stop being a vagabond soon enough!' Well, I'm going to remain a vagabond, at least for the next year. At this point, I'm just looking forward to planning my trip back home and figuring out what it is that my life will hold next. I'm trying not to stress about moving to some new city, discovering new people, trying out a new job-those things can all be very exciting!
I have a great boyfriend and a great job here, and so many friends! But I feel too comfortable. It's not that I feel like it's time to move from here, but i know that I need to. If I don't do it now, what am i waiting around for? I'll be okay somewhere else.
Besides, i'm already planning a tour around the napa valley, a stay in Yellowstone National Park, looking at old western hotels in South Dakota, touring the Mall of America, drinking at Wisconsin breweries, so on AND so on. So, there'll be another good long update of a cross country trip just like last time!

The crazies

2008-03-20T13:21:00.002-04:00

I was prompted to write this blog by a certain run in with a friend. He wasn't allowed to call, email, see, etc. me because of his girlfriend. She wouldn't let him. I can't mention any names here-I don't want him to get in trouble! But it really just made me realize how rediculous it is to watch people put up with stupid relationships.
I have no sympathy for girls in abusive or controlling relationships. OK, i'm sure if it were a life or death situation, i'd feel a bit bad. But really-you're dating someone. So you don't like them-stop. Why put up with all the drama, annoyingness, whatever?
Even worse are guys that put up with this. They have these girlfriends that constantly check their phone or email to see what's going on. Or they won't let them hang out with their ex. Or they control which friends they can see. Sometimes they're just so dramatic that they break their boyfriend's things, throw stuff at them, yell at them like the boyfriends a little kid. But the thing that gets me is-guys stay with these girls!!
I would consider myself a pretty stable, likeable girlfriend, and yet I have gotten shit on in pretty much every relationship I've been in. Please, go hang out with your ex. Go spend time with your friends. I don't even wanna see your phone!

So what is it about guys staying with these girls? Do they ignore their craziness because when they're normal they're just so great? I'm great all the time :). It continues to be annoying to hear about my guy friends and they're dramatic troubles or why they can't come out with me tonight, but hey-to each his own. His own crazy girl!

Rejection

2008-03-17T18:54:00.003-04:00

I hope i don't feel like i have to write this blog to offer an explanation. To my family, friends, teachers, etc. I made a promise to myself years ago that I would only make my own goals, and if i didn't reach them i wouldnt feel like i was a dissapointment to everyone around me. but i can't help but be completely embarrassed that i received my 3rd rejection letter. from the school that was supposed to be my last resort.
i'm so dissapointed in myself. i know i could have done better and i know i should have spent my evenings practicing, preparing, and making reeds instead of going out with my boyfriend, working on fashion show clothing, or watching tv.
i suppose i'm most dissapointed in knowing that i didn't work hard enough because i didn't want it bad enough. i realized how much i love playing in an emsemble when my dad was driving me to the train to go my msm audition. and at that point it was too late.
i spent the whole year when i was 22 depressed that i didn't know what i wanted to do with my life. but at that time it's because i thought i'd grow up and regret not trying things. now that i'm almost 25, i realize my age isn't what matters. if i want to go to grad school, there is nothing holding me back from going next year, going when i'm 35...if i want it i'll do it. i'm kind of depressed now because i realize how i spent the last year making auditions a priority because i wanted a change in my life. i made going to school for music an option because it's what i'm best at, not really because it's what i most in life.
I was talking to bethany, and she said ashley, you didn't get in because there were people that were better than you. they spend every night practicing, every night improving, and i can't go around counting on my high school and college knowledge of playing to be up to their calibur. i've been out of classial culture, away from a teacher, and playing only every few months for the past 3 years. the only way i would reach the calibur of a grad student was really to practice my ass off-and i didn't.

i make a point to try to turn every situation into something positive. so instead of sulking for weeks after i completely bombed my msm audition, i sat around thinking where i should move to next and what's in store for me. If i really want to play, i need to work my ass off-and actually do it. i need to get a regular teacher. i need to make it important. but first i have to figure out if i really do wanna play.
Getting rejected certainly doesn't do anything for my confidence level as a player, but i know i'm good. And i don't want to turn 50, go to grad school, and regret that i hadn't spent the last 30 years playing and loving it. But for now, i still have one letter to receive

Hearing Back

2008-03-12T11:35:00.003-04:00

Well, I'm done with all the auditions at this point.
Since i rarely write any updates, this is what happened.

USC was great. The campus was beautiful and it seemed like there were great facilities. And a million bicycles. I played pretty well, I got through excerpts, an etude, and 2 movements of a solo. The one teacher mentioned how impressed he was at my musicality, but gave me some things to work on. I have to count very well when I'm nervous, and perhaps my tonguing problems are do to embouchure. Did i really misspell that? Anyway, I was absolutely happy with my playing and the reaction I had receieved. And I knew what to expect from the other schools. Well, I received my rejection letter yesterday. It's pretty discourgaging-as I'm sure losing any audition is for a musician. But it made me realize I didn't get it because I didn't prepare enough. I didn't want it badly enough to do my best and try my hardest.

I had 2 other auditions last week. I flew to Philadelphia and was quite umimpressed with my whole experience. I ended up playing pretty well, some of my solo, etude, and excerpts. I did enjoy having two real Philly Cheesesteaks. Gino's was definitely not my favorite-I liked one in the South Side better. I climbed the Rocky steps, hung out with Adam, and liked the city much more than I thought I would. It turns out I wouldn't need a car there, but the surrounding area of Temple was definitely not desirable.

I took the train up to NYC and had my audition at Manhattan School of Music. It was great to be around a conservatory experience - I ended up meeting other oboe players. They were all very nice and we compared teachers and experiences. I think it made me nervous hearing other good players, and I was also counting on this school being my best option. I psyched myself out way too much, and although the teachers were extremely relaxed and friendly, I was very dissapointed in my playing. I got through a few excerpts and just part of my solo.

Oh, and I didn't make it into Yale. I thought my cd didn't show off my ability well at all. I'm making excuses...

So I'm staying positive for the other two schools. Through this whole experience, I've realized how I really do want to be an orchestral player. It's what I feel most naturally doing. I think of sitting in an office, working at a store, doing anything else and I don't want to do it. I want to play! So we'll see how it goes.

But for now, that's my update

the 'hella' collection

2008-01-16T17:36:00.001-05:00

i've signed up to do another fashion show. i'm pretty excited because i've had some design ideas in my head for awhile now that i haven't sat down and actually tried.
well here's my motivation! i even bought patterns after paul's mom rediculed me, and joann's was having a big 1.99 sale anyway. well, my bubble hem dress did turn out much better when using the pattern. then again, it ended up looking like a potato sack in general, but i guess that's the design!
i was walking around the mall yesterday looking for an audition dress and trying to avoid all the cheapo looks, but i strolled in a few trendy stores. i noticed everything i seem to be coming up with in my head is either some other form of what's already in stores, or some random piece of clothing that people would not normally wear and will end up looking trashy.
i got kind of upset, but then i thought-well they're my designs. i can't just come up with ideas of great stuff if my mind doesn't allow for it. and besides, i'm pretty trashy and i'm the only one that ends up wearing the stuff out as it is.

so, next weekend, along with the usc audition i'm frantically preparing for, i'm going to take a visit to the la garment district. the last time i went i wasn't in the mood to make clothes, but now that i can't find what i need at hancock and joanns, i'm very excited for the blocks and blocks of fabrics that are in the city.
oh ya, i'm excited about the audition too. wish me luck!

Your Life is Just Like Mine

2008-01-08T16:35:00.000-05:00

I wouldn't say playing music is unlike anything else in the world, but it's certainly not comparable to just any job. Auditions aren't like normal interviews and practices aren't like regular days at the office.
It's recently come to my attention how frustrating and annoying it can be when people actually try to compare their life to mine by listing what they do at their jobs.

I have to pay to go to auditions and to go to school. There's 1 spot open and many many applicants. Half the time you know you're not going to come close to making it-it's just good experience for your career. Is this like when you go online and apply to a job? No.

Auditions aren't a 'well i guess i'll just see how it goes' situation either. You've spent practically your entire life perfecting your skills for this 1 thing-to land a playing gig. You can't be super relaxed, uncaring, and just make it a really fun experience-a lot of money from lessons, college, honors bands, traveling, tools, instruments, music, everything-goes into it.

So why can't somebody just ask me about what i do? Maybe they'd learn something by finding out what exactly it is i do and what exactly it's like to be a musician (not that i even know!) instead of trying to teach me how to be good at making money and my career by comparing it with something they do.

Headaches

2008-01-03T17:41:00.000-05:00

I'm like Hilary-not writing in my blog. The difference is people want to read hers.
So here's my update for her (because I know you're the only one reading. and maybe an occasional ex boyfriend).

Christmas was...good. It was different. I don't know why exactly, maybe I just haven't felt myself this last month. Nothing really felt like the holiday this year: I didn't see any lights, didn't hear any Christmas carols, exchanged gifts that seemed a little forced from everyone, but i thought it would all change once I go back east. It didn't-it was a great family trip but that's about all.
I don't know if i wasn't in an NYC mindset or what-but I wasn't excited about the Rockettes, I was annoyed at all the people in Chinatown, Little Italy was gross to me, and I was angry that I had to wait on trains or walk to someone's apartment. Normal NYC annoyances I'm sure, but that's all the stuff I loved about it 3 years ago. I walked to the subway ready to take it into Union Square and I thought, can I really go to school here? Do I want to meet all these new people and then have them leave my life again? Do I want to pay twice the rent for an apartment the size of my bedroom? Is this a step up in my life?
But then Hilary and I walked around Brooklyn. It put a smile on my face-there is something independent about the city. Walking around, discovering new shops-it's the idea of really being on my own and feeling like i can make it. Maybe that's why it was great when i first lived there. But now i have that feeling in Las Vegas (and will hopefully have it forever). So maybe I like the city but the real appeal has worn off.

Anyway, Christmas at home was nice. But it seems once a grandkid comes-everything is about them. I'm not complaining-man i sound like a jerk in this blog. It was just less about our family and more about our fascination with every move and sound he could make. I will say this though-I think i finally like babies and spending time with him. I'm actually not scared to drop him and I can actually do something with him and be entertained-before I didn't know what to do and I didn't even want to hold him I was too scared.

So I was excited to get back here to Las Vegas hoping I'd feel normal and at home again. I didn't. Probably because i have the flu...maybe because i'm having a real weird month.

It's a new year. A new job may be on the horizon. I've got money saved most people would die for and I don't really have an idea what I want with it. I'm going to school-it's direction I need in life so that i have a plan for at least another 2 years in my life. I don't know if that means being a musician will be my ultimate passion in life-i hope so. I hope the surrounding will affect me and inspire me more than here. I don't know if anything will ever really be my passion in life. Maybe i'm meant to try out different jobs, make some good money, and live by being happy with friends, a man, children maybe, and laughing about farts and cats with my sister.

I guess when i put it like that, life is simple and i know that just living it however i want will make me successful and happy.

'tis the reason for the season

2007-12-10T15:57:00.000-05:00

Moneybags. That's what I am this year. Well not completely-I'm still trying to save most of my money!
This is the first christmas that I'm able to get all my loved ones gifts that they can really use and will really like. That means I don't really have to worry how much money I'm spending. But either i've been so consistently frugal every other year or else i'm destined to be a selfish giftgiver.
Giving gifts is my favorite. I love to see people's reactions and i love when they appreciate how much time i've put into thinking what they would like. And i also get pretty 'butt hurt' when they don't adore what i got them. I like getting gifts, too. I don't care how much money they are if they're something i really love-it's literally just the thought that counts. As long as the person thought of me when they got it, that's all that matters.

But now that i've gone above and beyond this year, I feel like I may be acting a little weird and perhaps expecting more than usual in return. I'm afraid i've turned into my mother who is an incredibly generous person, but always wants a thank you, and a card, and something else.

It's not just christmas though. I hang out with people that are fun, party animals, and most of them don't have a lot of money for drinks. I remember months ago i had to stop going out because of how angry it made me that everyone here was never too thankful for how many times i'd end up buying their drinks, or spending money to come see their shows, driving to see them, whatever. I hate the feeling that i'm selfish for expecting a drink in return once in awhile, maybe a present when they go out of town, or just an acknowledgement that i'm a good person for helping them out. But that's what i feel like. Especially during this season. I don't want to be selfish-I want to share my joy. It's just money afterall.
I guess what i'm looking for are things that are more than money. And it doesn't seem that many people here have that to give me.

One more thing. I love my kids.

Applications Sent: Check

2007-12-07T16:02:00.001-05:00

I stressed A LOT the past few weeks about getting everything out to schools by December 1st. But I did it: i filled out the online apps, I got my recommendation letters delivered, my GRE scores came (and weren't too bad), I retyped my resume and rep. list that were so conveniently lost on my stolen laptop. And I finally finished recording my cd! I was very dissapointed at first when i listened to it, but maybe that's how everyone feels. I waited a couple days and listened again, and i really didn't sound too badly. I suppose it only matters what Yale thinks though.
So besides sending out a few last minute things, the only thing i have left to do is wait! for letters of acceptance or not

GPS System Comparison

2007-11-21T15:33:00.001-05:00

Now it's time for me to make a little comparison of my christmas present to myself: A GPS system! They're a lot more affordable now than when they first came out, and i'm certainly making more money than that time as well. Steve gave me some advice: go for one with good points of interest, and the extra $100 is worth having the system read street names to you.

Soooo...black friday is in two days and I've found the following deals:

Mio DigiWalker C230 GPS Navigation
$99.99

It's the cheapest GPS to come with street names. It also reroutes well, has good points of interest, and lists the shortest/fastest/etc. routes
It doesn't have Cadanadian maps and the screen is a lot smaller than all the others.

TomTom ONE LE GPS
$119.99

The points of interest aren't very broad.
It has Canadian maps and it will base your trip and the shortest time/distance/etc.

Magellan Roadmate 1200 Portable GPS
$124.99

It doesn't speak the street names, but the maps are very detailed

Garmin Nuvi 200 GPS
$169.99

There are no street names announced and it doesn't have Canadian maps (on my road trip to Vancouver this could be a problem)
But it's easy to install, it has extensive points of interest, and it will re route if you change your direction

Garmin StreetPilot c340 GPS Navigation
$199.99

This will announce the street names and also has a map of Canada. Garmin has great points of interest and you can chose different routes and name them.
Apparenlty it has a 4 hour battery life, but I have no idea if that's average or not.

Of course price is important, but with such an investment I want to make sure I have lots of points, a Canadian map, and rerouting.
My first choice is the Garmin c 340, then Mio, then TomTom, then Garmin Nuvi 200, then Magellan.

I'm only mapping this out because I'll have about 2 minutes to grab one while running into Circuit City dressed like a turkey on Friday. Next, check out presents for my family!

Recording: Check

2007-11-21T10:54:00.000-05:00

I finally got through my recording yesterday! I didn't need to stress out as much as I did, I had ample time to prepare everything and get together with my accompanist. I'd never been inside a recording studio and the sound was so crisp and good. The mic was so powerful and close, you can hear every click of my keys and every breath i take. That's a bit of a problem-but oh well.
I started with the Marcello and took awhile correcting everything I wanted to on the 2nd movement. It turned out beautifully though. I did the 3rd movement next and was just not on with my toungeing and fingering, but oh well. The first movement went smoothly. I moved onto the Saint-Seans but my chops were almost shot at this point, so I didn't do too much correcting. The third movement went better than I thought it would, but the first wasn't the best. We ended with the Italian Dance and finally got it up to a tempo I was satisfied with. I hit all my runs which is great! I did my excerpts after that, and it was so easy to hear how my tone and pitch sounded. They went well.
I sat in the editing room and listened and watched how he did things. It was interesting, but seemed very tedious! I won't be able to go back until Monday, but I'm very excited! And finally relieved

mp3 playas

2007-11-13T10:38:00.000-05:00

i HATE ipods. Can't stand them. My dislike first developed out of the fact that every hipster kid in the world thinks they need one to be cool. It annoys me because a)it makes them the biggest victim of marketing and complete commercialization and b)they are completely snobby about looking at any other mp3 player and very quick to say everything else sucks. It then blossomed into me hating ipods and ipod owners because of their insistance that it's the best product out there and that i'm completely ridiculous for owning something so huge and outdated. Yet, they have no idea what other products are available and what other options come on other products because they don't do their research. Does yours have an AM/FM radio? What about a voice recorder? Can you set up a playlist as you're listening to it and add on song after song? Do you have a home button and back and forward? No.

I finally tried an ipod, thinking I should at least give it a chance. Well i hate the interface, i hate having to scroll around the circle thing, i hate that once you're at z you can't just keep going to get to a-you have to go all the way back, i hate that you have to make a playlist at home instead of on the go, and i don't even like how it's so small and slippery.

To the point of this blog, after 6 years (and my Creative hasn't even given me any problems up to now), it's finally stopped working. It doesn't charge anymore-shit it took me a week to even find a place that carried a charger for this apparently archaic player. So I'm looking into what new products are on the market. Turns out every company is trying out touchscreens, video players, most have less than 30 g which is annoying because that's what mine was, and they're all a bit smaller. I've narrowed my choices to the following:

The archos
The side buttons are pretty annoying and flimsy. It looks like it might be a first version and could be perfected down the road. It's pretty cool to use the touchscreen and the buttons, but the reviews don't say many good things about it. It does have a cool wifi capability, but i believe you have to get a bunch of plugins.

zen vision
I think this might be my top choice. I really loved my creative;it never broke down and i loved the things i could do with it. This can connect with my comupter and has a great looking screen! it has pretty good reviews as an improvement on just the zen and comes in a 30g size which is great! The battery time is not known to last very long.

zune 80g
Apparently it beats the ipod 80 gig out by just a bit. It sincs wirelessly with my computer and if anybody else has a zune, we can share music with each other for 3 days. It is really tiny and I don't like using touchscreens. I haven't played with one yet at circuit city so i'm not sure how i may feel about it. I think I like the screen better on the zen but it's a tossup between these 2 players!

zen vision m
This is everybody's favorite mp3 player! (for those who look outside of ipod). It's won awards, and it hasn't dissapointed on any levels. It is about to be discontinued and the model is from 2006 so it's not a great screen to watch movies on. Otherwise, it's great for music. But if i'm looking for something to last me another 6 years-I may as well get all the new bells and whistles.

Anybody have some input??

GRE: Check

2007-11-08T16:07:00.000-05:00

I'm Done! I Did It! And i didn't do too badly...
After months of studying, and thinking I'd never had to take another standardized test in my life, I sat in a cubicle, stared at an annoying computer screen, and wrote essays, figured out math problems, and matched antonyms. I only had to take the GRE for my application to Yale, and after i stopped worrying about how they would feel about my score, i calmed down and guessed on some answers and used my review knowledge on others. I did quite well on the math, and below average on vocab. I guess it will even out. Especially when they see my glorious GPA from IUP. W-O-O!

Next up: Report on how my recording is going

My two biggets pet peeves

2007-11-02T13:15:00.000-04:00

As of late:

I'm telling someone a story. I don't necessarily need advice on the story, I just want someone to listen. I want some sort of supportive reaction out of them. But instead they start to tell their own version of that story. They don't respond to what happened to me, they take a long time to describe something that happened in their life on the subject. Not that i don't care, but really-i don't care. I'm telling you for a reason, not just to hear myself talk. Is it really that hard to listen? To care? To show some sort of reaction that means you're actually listened and are concerned?

My other is the know-it-all.
When I'm attacked by a group of people insisting they know all about something (even if they may be wrong). It's something everyone is ignorant about, they just read things or see it on tv, and insist that they are correct. YOU CAN'T DRINK DIET COKE IT'S GIVING YOU CANCER! or DONT PUMP GAS WHILE ON YOUR PHONE, YOU'RE GOING TO BLOW UP. None of these people are research scientists, and none of them know the truth. Yet you mention for a second that they could be wrong, and they bight your head off!

Richie Rich

2007-10-30T16:49:00.000-04:00

I don't know if i could have the drive to do something like this. But it'd be great to make that much money and be that important!
My friend thinks everybody has a drive in themselves to do really great and work hard for something like a CEO position. But i don't know if I'd ever have the passion.

I'm gonna be a life long student instead.

LA the real way

2007-10-29T12:54:00.000-04:00

I went to LA the first weekend i moved to the west coast. Well, it turned into me only going to Hollywood and I've been meaning to go back ever since. I know quite a few people out there and couldn't wait to visit high school, college, and random friends. But, shocker, not too many people followed through.
I met up with Eric and Dan, reminisced, and finally got my Pez tattoo. I walked around the garment district, upon recommendation from my coworkers. It was really cool to see all the fabric, beads, and accessories. I don't work on clothes too much anymore but if i did-it would have been great! We walked around downtown and i came to the realization that la is a lot bigger than i thought. There were signs everywhere for the ballet, symphony, and the arts district (which is nice to know considering i got a recommendation for checking out USC for grad school). We then headed to Venice Beach where i expected to see some major crazies. It was a little rainy and a little late, so unfortunately it ended up a bit like the Ocean City Boardwalk (did i just say unfortunately??). There was a bum walking on glass, a rollerblader with a guitar and attached amp, and a couple good costumes. And the idea of muscle beach really cracked me up.

We met up with another Hanoverian that night, and Aaron took us out in Hollywood to Powerhouse and Tini's, the cheap punk rock bars in the area. Last call sucks but it was really fun to see all the crazy LA people dressed up for Halloween, and it seemed fun to walk around the crowded city in such nice weather!
The next day we went to Santa Monica and saw the Pier and drove up the PCH to look at the houses in Malibu. We ate lunch at a really awesome fish place. I don't even like fish and i loved it.

The tattoo (unfinished)

Yes, it hurt. But no, not as much as i thought it would

Butt Hurt: Hilary's Favorite Term

2007-10-25T11:25:00.000-04:00

I was just reading this article on people's perceptions between men crying and women crying. I really have no blog entry about it, but just to say i wish i didn't get so 'butt hurt' about everything.
For those of you on the east coast (because i've found this is only a west coast saying), that means you get upset and are overly sensitive about everything. Like when my boss asked 'why haven't you sold much at work?' or when my friend tells me that i'm being an annoying drunk.
I remember when i almost got in a car accident, when i broke the bari sax i borrowed, or when i was complaining about my friend-i'd talk to my mom about it all. I'd just cry and cry when she yelled at me for it all and i always wished i would change and not be such a crybaby.

But that is what i am and will always be. A butt hurt crybaby. Oh well!

phiwwy

2007-10-23T10:09:00.000-04:00

hehe: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20071022/od_nm/philadelphia_unattractive1_dc

Cell Phone Disaster

2007-10-22T14:03:00.001-04:00

At this point, I've lost track of how many phones I have gone through. Miraculously, I've only paid for one of them over the last 3 years.
I dropped my first one in the toilet. It was after only having the phone for 4 months, but luckily that weekend Janice was in town and she gave me her old slider. The next summer I dropped that slider at one of ewic's parties. Nicole gave me an old phone of hers-it was quite nice. Someone found the slider for me. About a month passed and something happened to Nicole's phone so I again went back to the slider.
I had it all the way until the next summer when it was time to get my free upgrade from Verizon. I got a really nice video/camera/mp3 phone. It lasted me almost a year until I dropped it on St. Patrick's day. Somebody picked it up and was answering my calls saying they kidnapped me. Jerks. So i again went back to the slider.
My slider finally bit the dust a few months ago after i left it in my purse and a bunch of beer exploded all over it.
A kind coworker hooked me up with one of the older envys. I loved that phone-it was like a fake sidekick and i could get online and text message real fast! But saturday night i dropped it...somewhere.
Good thing i picked up an old razor another coworker had when she was moving. It's slow and not as easy to text, but i guess it's a phone. My 6th phone.

Moneybags

2007-10-19T12:26:00.000-04:00

Well, i closed a big deal yesterday. No, correction: a huge deal.
Providing everything goes through, and providing my taxes this year aren't too much over 25% of my income, I've already reached my school goal of 12 grand, 1 grand for apps, and another thou for my trip across america. I can even go to europe next summer on 2 thousand.
So, what to do with my money now? I bought a book hoping for advice on investing, but i'm just so scared of losing it all and stressing out that i think i'll listen to my mother instead.
I'd like to pay off half of my car and refinance the rest, get rid of my pesky credit card and get one that's a reasonable interest rate, pay off my cheapest school loan, and treat myself to something nice.

So in my thought of treating myself, i walked through the mall going in and out of dior, chanel, dolce and gabana, and fendi. The purses i liked were are about $2,000. I could honestly afford that at this point, but $2000? Really? What happens next year when i'm eating top ramen and living in a closet thinking wow, i've got this really sweet purse beside me. But i'd much rather have the money.
I can't even bring myself to walk in a nicer shoe store and invest in a pair of heels that won't fall apart after a few months. My value city nine west ones are completely unwearable (though i still wear them) after 4 years. I don't even know if i want to give them up, or why i wouldn't just keep buying a bunch of cheap tj maxx pairs.

I guess i've been so used to being frugal my whole life. That's probably a good thing-that's why i actually have money in the bank and why my friends that are the same age can't manage to save up money to pay off credit cards or to go to school. Besides steak dinners and shots for everybody at the bar, I promise to actually spend this big check on myself. So maybe you'll see me with a fendi bag, some gucci shoes, or about 10 shopping bags from ross.

Buddhism

2007-10-17T14:34:00.001-04:00

I was reading an old blog entry of mine about Buddhist dating advice and i'm glad i went back over it to remind myself of some things. Though i don't need to directly mention what i'm talking about, because Hilary and Bethany (probably the only people who read this), i tell my life daily to, Buddhists live in the present. Things that have happened to people in the past, and worrying about the future, should not affect what is going on in the present.
Unfortunately, I've let myself dwell on something in someone's past and it's affecting me in a bad way. I feel like a drama queen who's thinking about it a lot and being angry when, in actuality, it doesn't matter right here right now.
So from this point on: Forget the past, ignore the future. If that gets me hurt in a relationship, at least I had fun when I was in it. If that means I'm concentrating on work and leaving studying till the end of the day, at least i'm making great money.

To Buddhism!!

What is love?

2007-10-16T13:39:00.000-04:00

Baby don't hurt me...

No but really. I wonder what the difference between loving somebody and being in love is all about. I think about it a lot every now and then, what's different between people i date that i just like? or that i love? or that i pretend or think is something different? Why does this even bother me...
Some of my friend who are my age, even older, say they've never been in love. I think that's such a shame, but why? Do i even know what it is?

I was pretty confused when Jim and I broke up. I thought, well...we were gonna get married. We spent every minute together. But now it's done. What's that mean?
Then I was even more confused when I got a new boyfriend. He seemed to be the exact opposite type of relationship from Jim and I, so did that mean I wasn't in love with him?

I've always thought there were different types of love-that's how we're able to love more than one person in our lives. But is that ok to do? Am i supposed to compare how much I felt for one person to what i feel for another person?

Maybe it's the intensity of a relationship. Jim and I would tell each other how much we meant to each other everyday, go on vacation, celebrate our monthly anniversaries. But then i compare that with Chade; We just had a completely fun, drama free relationship. That's the type of guy he was though-he never needed to be intense, we never needed pictures together or a nickname for our couple, we just had fun. I think i took that to mean i couldn't possibly be in love with him. Later, I think i convinced myself i was in love with Heroin Aaron-he told me how important i was to him and it made me feel so great. Did i mistake that for love because it seemed so intense?

Or does it have to do with some timeframe? I dated Chade knowing that it would end in 7 months. So maybe i wouldn't let myself think i was in love because i didn't want to have to give that up. I had the opportunity of forever with Jim.

Maybe in love isn't so much different than love. Maybe it's just a matter of how much you're able to connect and intertwine your lives together. When you're with somebody that you see a future with you care about how they spend their finances, what their career goals are, I was concerned with what kind of dad Jim would be and how his tattoos would look when we were 50. I never thought about that with Chad because I didn't want to care that much. I didn't want to get too upset or be too dramatic when it was a short relationship.

I had about an hour conversation with myself about this, pretty much just to plan out this blog, but by the end of it I guess i came to the conclusion that i was in love with jim. and nobody else. Maybe it was because with him it was perfect timing, maybe because since then I don't want to be in some huge relationship until i'm ready to meet my husband, maybe because I now prefer drama free, funny relationships that are all about having a good time. I'm not sure, but it made me feel a little better to be able to answer that question to myself. I have been in love. There is a difference. It's not so much better or worse than being single, it's just something to have experienced. It's been 3 years since we broke up. We're completely different people now, and I barely think about it anymore. It was a separate lifestyle I had and it was great, but what i'm doing now is great too.

Life Goals

2007-10-11T11:46:00.000-04:00

I had made a somewhat small list of things I want to do in my life a few months ago. It included

Go to New Orleans for Mardi Gras
Go to Disneyland/world (and be able to remember it)
Attend an NFL football game (hoping it's the Ravens or the Stiller)
Backpack around Europe for a summer
Audition for Yale's graduate program (get in...go for free....)
See the Rockette's Christmas Show in NYC
Travel to Mexico, even if just for a drunken night

Within the time of making the list,
I went to Mardi Gras. It was dirty and hilarious and totally worht it.
I'm going to go to the Ravens/Chargers game in a month in San Diego and i'm totally excited to sit with all the young cheesy fans!! I feel bad cheering for the Ravens beacause i don't really hate the Chargers. I wish they were playing the Patriots or something. And at the same time, we're going to Disneyland that weekend! By we, i mean paul and i. he's been before so i guess he knows the fun spots to go to.
As far as Europe goes, I have 8 more months to save $5000. I can absolutely do it, and when i have-it means i'm buying plane tickets to go to Belgium with my sister in August for 1 or 2 weeks. She's planning everything ( as she should because i don't know anything about it), and no it's not backpacking-but it'll still be awesome!
I'm studying for the GREs, and providing i pass the test, i'll be applying to Yale and flying there if i'm granted an audition in January!
I'm flying in NYC this christmas so i can hang out at rockafella center, and of course see the Rockettes!!
And lastly, no i have no plans to go to Mexico. Unfortunately. It's a bit scary of an idea for me, but really-i just want to have a drunken adventure there!

Now i've added to the list:

Go to Boston for St. Patty's Day
Go to Germany for Oktoberfest
Spend a couple days in Vancouver
See GWAR in concert

And I will do it all!!!

Drunken Strip Adventure

2007-10-09T12:20:00.000-04:00

I remember one evening Melinda and I decided to go up and down the strip and stop for a cheap drink wherever possible. So, months later, Paul and i decided to do it again. Except it's been so long since I've gotten drunk, I could do a 1/4 of the strip before I could barely walk and wanted to pass out.
We started at Coyote Ugly. I have no idea why because I hate that place probably more than any other. But they have a pretty good happy hour-2 for 1's. We got some vodka crans and went on our way.

We went down the east side and hit up the "Glacier Bar" whatever the hell that was. Turns out it was just Gameworx, and it also turns out that Gameworx is awesome! I didn't want to blow money on games and not save it for drinks, but they had hella race car games!

I was already pretty damn buzzed, but Pwal got a jack and coke and i had the bartender make some fun drink-so he decides on a pineapple upside down cake. It was quite delish!

I was getting sick of liquor, and i was getting hungry. So i stopped to get some doritos and the budweiser clamato beer. the can was 4 dollars of course...but it was like a mini meal in a can!

We walked through the Hawaiin Marketplace, saw some beeds, peed, etc. And this really great slut clothing store had a very appropriate name

We went to the new Planet Hollywood, did a bit of shopping, and ended up at Sin City Breweing Company.

The hefe was actually reaaaally good!

Then i got tired and passed out

Once Paul finished my lowrider, we'll probably have to make this a weekly event!

Going Raw

2007-10-04T12:31:00.000-04:00

I was working my new job last night (that's right, update: quit urban, now working for miss sixty and scored some pretty cool jeans), and besides one of my coworkers being a vegan, the other is going on a raw-diet-detox.
Morgan mentioned something about detoxing for a week and just drinking a mixture of water/maple syrup/cayenne pepper. I was at a county fair and saw this special thing you put your feet in so all the toxins of your body flow out through your feet. Obvs, none of these seemed too appealing. But just eating raw fruits and veggies for a week seemed somewhat doable for me.
There's lots of books on it, explaing the health, skin, weight loss, and general happiness positives of the diet. Turns out people actually live like this for the rest of their life so it's not too hard to find some pretty good recipes

Apparently cooking food over 117 degrees gets rid of most health benefits, so it's better to prepare them with a dehydrator. There are toxins left in your body from things like alcohol, microwaved food, etc. so i'm interested to see if i poop out a gross amount and if i really do feel better after the detox.
I need a little support so I've asked my boyfriend to try it with me for a week. Of course i have to wait for a week where i'm not working 70 hours or have a party to attend so i can really detox.
Wish me luck!

ahhh....the ex. err, um, current

2007-10-02T11:26:00.000-04:00

There was a time in my life when Hilary and i didn't talk as much. It was before she moved away so i was really annoyed at everything she did. Well, one summer she came back from a vacation in Europe and I probably didn't care much about her stories, but i couldn't help but hear all about a certain guy she met while on her trip. As we grew older, and as i started to care a little more about her stories, i kept hearing about this guy. They'd visit each other a lot, they're talk on the phone, they were pen pals. He was always 'the guy' that for almost 10 years now has never slipped her mind. I was wondering if i'd ever encounter my own Greg, but i'm glad i never have. I don't want to wait around to see if he'll ever write back, call me, or wonder if he actually gives a shit about what i'm doing these days, knowing that i am always thinking about what he's up to. Enough of the sob story history...

Hilary decided to finally write him a letter asking how things were going (oh, the advantage of myspace). Let's preface this by saying his girlfriend has added Hilary on myspace and leaves her comments. Why a current girlfriend would ever be ok with a longtime friend/lover/whatever you call it, is beyond me. Especially when they will never meet. But...here's the sweet letter he (or she?) writes back to my sister:

Hello,

Things are going very well. My girlfriend, Reham, and I have been in Wisconsin attending school for a little over a year now. We've been together for almost four years, and met at a friend's wedding. Reham will be beginning her clinicals soon, and I've been really focused on school and developing a strong portfolio, which hasn't left us too much free time. However, we try to travel here-and-there as often as we can, enjoying and discovering the outdoors as well as our new surroundings. Hope things are well for you, we wish you success,

Greg "His Last Name"

As much fun as I had dissecting the incredibly romantic letter Jim sent me, I'm enjoying this as well. First of all, why is he saying anything about his girlfriend when she asked nothing about her? If she would like to know about her life, I'm sure Hilary would have writtern HER a letter. Second of all, WE wish you success? I'm confused to who is actually writing the letter here. Is this girl really that excited for my sister's life and career? Either she's the most caring, selfless, un-jealous, perfect girl ever....or it's just creepy. I'm going with the latter. 3rd, a full name signage? Ray called me out and signing "ashley" after an email. He said it was really AWEKWARD and way too proper. It's not like Hilary forgot his last name or that he's writing some business letter. 4th, the whole thing just made me yell WTF and it's not even my guy.
So...based on this letter alone, I'm still glad i don't have my own greg

I miss

2007-09-10T11:28:00.000-04:00

how people smile and say hi to strangers in Pennsylvania, watching my nephew grow up, going out to dinner with my mom dad and sister, road tripping to new york or pittsburgh, having friends i can count on all the time, doing things that don't require drinking, and my cat.

I'm really getting excited to explore the north part of the country when i go back. and living near all this again.

Roommate Finder

2007-09-06T17:20:00.000-04:00

I thought this would be the first time I've stayed in the same living arrangement for over 12 months. Well it is i suppose-it's 13 months. But come October 1, we're out. I'm not living with the same people.
I suppose it's a good thing-we got robbed, cars have gotten broken into, everybody seems to be getting on their last nerves with everybody else. Chad's going to Korea and the others are moving in with their girlfriends.
Since no one seems to hang out anymore, I'm going to take this opportunity to make some new friends as well as explore a new neighborhood and live in a new house. Searching Craig's List, i found a guy who works with me at Caeasars. The house had a hot tub, was real clean, but they said they were hardly ever home and the house was pretty much at the edge of the world. The 2nd condo had 2 huge dogs and a law student. Considering I like to party, be loud, and have a lot of fun-these didn't seem like the best situations to meet a new crowd.
I found a girl with my same haircut with a nice house (including pool!) Unfortunately, I haven't had a chance to look at the house and meet them, but I like the idea of living in Henderson and I like the price.
Last night I met a group of nice guys and girls that have a pool table, poker table, air hockey table, and access to a sweet boat with trips every weekend! It seems that everything I'm looking at is much higher priced than the ghetto with much smaller rooms. But I guess it's my only choice.

Past Week

2007-08-27T13:38:00.000-04:00

Because so many people are interested in how my life has been going lately. And all those people read my blog (aka my sister, who i tell my life to on a daily basis):

I had two auditions the past weekend. The first was for UNLV-i don't go there and i don't play in anything but the sight-reading symphony. Nonetheless, it was a chance to play some excerpts in front of conductors and get some feedback. They were very impressed, invited me to play in any of the ensembles, and gave me some advice on confidence, speed, and smoothness in my selections. I played the next day for the Henderson Symphony. I was quite impressed how I did with the Don Juan excerpt. The Mozart Concerto went alright, I need a lot of work on it still though. I've been working on long phrases and trying to get through them without too many breaths and I managed to do it. The panal was saying 'when do you breathe! Oh man!' But it turns out Henderson does not have an opening, but I will be on the sub list. I was glad to play in front of important people and work on my nerves.

In other news, Bethany's visit thus far has left me pretty wiped out. I guess my constant drunken escapades last year could be healed by sleeping in everyday till about 12 everyday before work. But I haven't gotten much sleep now, and I'm buying everyone elses drinks. We saw Thunder From Down Under again and managed to sit in the booth that the performers not on stage stood behind. Um, wow. I don't think I've seen anyone as hot as that in person...ever. And wow for one of them dancing to "OO Wa a a a". We've seen Fremont Street, walked a bit of the strip, gambled 25 cents, watched Metal Skool and a baseball game, passed out while waiting for breakfast at Arizona Charlies, and shopped at the Swap Meet. Today is her birfday and we're going to explore the glorious bars of Las Vegas. It's been so good to talk in a Hanoverian accent, enjoy the Stillers, and talk about everything IUP. But i have one day of rest and then Morgan visits. Whew, what a way to end summer 07.

I've also been doing quite well at week. I made about 10 grand in one month. I don't know how much I'll be able to keep this up, but I've definitely made a good start on my goal for $14,000 by August 08 for school, cross country trip, and possibly Europe. Oh, and my goddamn root canal.

Update complete.

Breaking Up Isn't Hard to Do. And is a stupid study.

2007-08-22T13:20:00.000-04:00

....says Yahoo News.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070820/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_love_lost

Is this really an area of research? Were the findings THAT shocking?

"they found the more people were in love, the harder they took the breakup. People who are more in love really are a little more upset after a breakup"

What's crazy is that I couldn't have figured this out on my own. I would think that a dude I met one night would upset me just as much as the guy I've been dating the past two years. NOT. Unlike this story, they say about breakups: "At the end of the day it, it is just less bad than you thought."

Visits and Vacations 07

2007-08-21T11:40:00.000-04:00

Last summer was my first in Vegas. It was nuts-I was working stupid jobs so I went out every night, met a whole bunch of people, and partied a lot. I've gotten a more solid job this year, I'm making more money, and I definitely go out but not as much. Instead, I've enjoyed the summer months by going on lots of trips and looking forward to visitors.
I took a road trip to San Diego with some girlfriends and swam in the ocean, saw seals, ate seafood, and hung out on cliffs. I went to San Francisco and did a couple touristy things, ate more seafood, and saw how hilly the city was. And I will going to Portland in October.
As the summer ends, I'm also getting visitors! It's pretty common for people I know to come through here. They don't spend their entire time with me but I like to meet up. But my sister came to spend the whole time with me in June. It was so much fun and we did a lot i wouldn't have done otherwise. Now it's Bethany's turn and she arrives tomorrow! She drinks quite a bit more than my sister, but she also doesn't like to see as many naked men or care about awesome restaurants as much. So I've made up this itinerary:
After her plane comes in on Wed, we go to the Art Bar and walk the strip a bit, then go to dinner at Dick's (http://www.excalibur.com/restaurants/dicks_last_resort.aspx). They encourage the waiters to act like jerks and there's nobody better to go with than her! Then we'll head over to open bar at the top of the stratosphere (maybe even take a ride at the top on the ones that always break). We might head to Dodgeball late that night. Thursday we'll head to Seamless for their vodka open bar and boobies, then go to Metal Skool!!. Todd and Sarah can take her out after that because I'm going to need to catch up on sleep. Friday we'll go to the open bar/free buffet at Treasures, see Thunder From Down Under!, and I was hoping to go to the sweet live performance/4 star Elvis Restaurant, but it's closed. So we'll have to go to Freemont and see all the crackheads! Saturday night all my friends will be attending the Guttermouth show where we will drink and be merry. After a Sunday morning breakfast and bloody mary, Monday is Bethany's birthday. This is when I plan to tour my favorite (and soon to be hers) bars: Double Down, Dive Bar, Crowne and Anchor, Slanted Clam, Emergency Room, Hogs n Heffers, and Bunkhouse. Then we drunkenly get home, and she leaves.
Next, Morgan's itin!

Ryon Triplets

2007-08-16T12:34:00.000-04:00

I've never liked kids-especially babies. I didn't hold my first one until I was 18 years old. And the only time I've babysat is with Maria-just about 2 years ago. I don't know what to do with babies: pet them? make stupid gaga noises? pat them on the back when the cry? make faces until they start laughing?
Well since my nephew has been born, and since I hung out with him, fed him, held him, changed his diaper, and saw that my bro and sis were totally cool around him, i don't mind babies so much anymore. I even see them on tv and say 'aww how cute'. I'm even excited for my coworkers baby shower to talk about diapers and play baby games (it'll be my first shower.) I like buying cute onesies and clothes.
But I guess I'll have to see if i start actually liking toddlers and kids, because right now they still annoy the hell out of me. As Max grows up, I'm sure I'll get more used to it.

damn you, yale

2007-08-14T14:03:00.000-04:00

I've narrowed down some choices for schools. What I'd like to spend (waste?) money on for applications, where I'd want to fly to for one day to auditions, bla bla bla. I thought i could avoid taking the GRE because a) i am absolutely awful at these tests and do horribly and b) it will probably set me back a hundred or so.
But if i want to consider Yale and Northwestern, it looks like I'm going to need to start studying and take it! I took some of the 'sample' test on the website. Ya, i got about 1 out of 10 right. This is going to be a nightmare!
Along with that, I have to come up with an essay about what I hope to get out of this degree. Do they really read this? Every hopeful musician saying "I'd like to get a sweet gig out of school. And since I'm paying 30 grand a year to study with you, i'm hoping it works"

So far my thoughts are on Yale, Mannes, Temple, Manhatten, Julliard, Cleveland, Northwestern. I'm going to need to start making a checklist for all the shit these places require.

le professional

2007-08-13T12:36:00.000-04:00

that just reminded me how much i hate the use of 'le sigh'

anyway, sighs all gone, i was getting really sick of practicing lately. my reeds only work well when it's rainy and muggy outside. i live in las vegas, so that's about 3 days out of the year. but lately it's been rainy, and i'm somewhat happy with my playing. But practicing the same solos and excerpts is getting so boring! i'm driven for a january grad school audition, but it's so far away.
Then i got a call and an email from the UNLV orchestra director. He's invited me to play again this year and to practice my auditioning skills with the rest of the students coming in. He's also told me when the auditions for the Henderson Symphony are. I'm not even sure if there are oboe openings or if it's anything more than volunteer, but the next 2 weeks finally give me something to look forward to! I have a reason to practice, so wish me good luck!

Young Ratty

2007-07-25T14:22:00.000-04:00

Thank god my dad scanned every old picture of the fam he could find in the house!
My favorites:
Birthday Party

One of many sweet haircuts my mom gave me

After practicing ballet in the basement

Beach time with high cut bathing suits!

Mom loved to decorate the frontdoor. We loved wearing turtlenecks

This time at the lake club

My beauty shot with pretty teef

Howetta!

Barbequizzle

I don't remember this

Before I pooped

Totes hipsters!!

Easter morn

"hey dad"

Kids in the Fall..ha ha, get it?

Hilary's model pose

Munchkin King in The Wizard of Oz

10 Everlasting tips for love

2007-06-14T19:07:00.000-04:00

They should probably start with "don't get mad about everything" or "stop judging on size." Maybe those are just my everlasting tips on love....

So msn advises on the following:

Know what you want. I know i'd like to date a performer in thunder from down under. but i guess eventually, once we get married, he'll want us to raise our family in australia. and i just don't know if i'll be ready for that!

Get clear about what you don't want. Knowing what you really can't tolerate in a partner is important. Make a list of your "don't wants" and then cut it down to the 10 most important. Any more than that and you'll be too picky. Here's my top 10:
1. Being really negative
2. Not being interested in what i do/what i'm interested in
3. Doesn't like my friends or family
4. Doesn't like to have sex
5. Isn't fun or funny
6. Is even more dramatic than me
7. Has a neck beard
8. Wants to get tribal armband tattoos
9. Doesn't think i'm super sexy
10. Nags me

Live your life.

See the big picture.

Get out of the house. like those couples i hate who only stay in the house and hang around each other

Open your eyes and your attitude.

Get curious.

Try something new.

Expect good luck.

Learn from bad luck.

Laziness

2007-06-14T12:23:00.000-04:00

I hate practicing the oboe. I love playing-but man do i hate everything that comes along with it. I made myself practice last night and the 2 everlasting reeds i've had for 2 years are completely shot. I attempted to stay home all day Sunday to make some new reeds for the first time in 6 months. But I tried them yesterday and they are completely horrible.
It's so discouraging to practice when you sound like shit. Nothing comes out right, you don't feel like you can hit notes or tongue right or get your fingers on track. I really need to get on the ball and start making reeds-if i want to do this for the rest of my life, i may as well start now.
I don't want to sound like shit for Hilary's recital! haha.

My thunder was rolling

2007-06-08T15:39:00.000-04:00

Hilary's trip has been pretty darn good so far. Sami and Alex came down for a night and we all rolled to the Double Down and Beauty Bar. The night ended (extremely late) with sparklers.
We went to the Hash House for breakfast, Firefly for dinner, and headed to Golden Nugget for pool action! We splashed around a lot, slid down the slide, and looked at sharks.
But most importantly-we went to see Thunder From Down Under last night!!
It turns out my roommate's girlfriend is the tour manager for the male revue show which means not only did we score the best seats in the house, but i'm asking her to score a date for me too! (hopefully there's some straight ones)
At the opening number, one of the three hottest guys came up to me, kissed me on the cheek, and put my hands on his ass. Let's just say-it was harder than a rock. No really-harder. During the second guy's solo number, Hilary got invited on stage. She got a lap dance and rubbed down the stripper. But here's the best part-her boob was hanging out the whole time!! The last solo dancer (and obviously the most perfect looking man i've ever seen in my life) took a water bottle and poured it all over his body. Then he took my glasses and wiped them off.....with his balls. I put them right back on-well, after rubbing the glasses all over my body.
It has been the highlight of her trip and one of the best things i've ever seen! I hope i go again when i'm getting married (to one of the dancers that is)

Sorry, Steve

2007-06-06T11:01:00.001-04:00

A message from my ex boyfriend:

"dude. youre going to take this the wrong way, but whatever, someone needs to tell you. someone from outside your friend realm...

you come off as gross. not funny, not cute, not anything but gross, unless youre some gutter fucking punk douche.

youre 24. grow up.

talk shit on me, hate me, take it as you will. i'm telling you from experience of actually being in the real world and living life for the last few years. you could tell any of your friends about this email and theyll tell you i suck because i am too p.c. or whatever, but i feel you need to hear this from someone besides your normal clique.

ive held my tongue for a while now, but come on. the way youre doing things and living life are pathetic at your age. Youre an amazing oboe player and could be showcasing your talent across the U.S. to numerous people, orchestras, anything. You could be doing so much better than you are, but you choose to live a mediocre-at-best life.

your life seems cool, but it wont seem that way a couple years from now when youre almost 30 and still living in shitty houses with going-nowhere roommates.

whatever path you choose in life, just remember to live it for you and not to make others happy. theres so much more out there to experience the right way.

i can picture you thinking i'm saying this because i think i'm better than you, but that;s not the case, I just feel you could be doing so much better for yourself.

take care.

jim."

ah, myspace. where perception is reality. i could let this go, and not make fun, but really-that's why i have a blog!

So, as a 23 year old, i guess it's just crazy that i haven't lived in the real world yet. Afterall, I would consider living in 5 different cities and paying every bill on my own proooobably the same thing as a fake world. 70 hour work weeks, having fun every day of my life, trying out different things, and playing and managing music is obviously a mediocre life. If only i could have a steady, boring day job, a husband and kids, and make loads and loads of money-I would have the best life ever!

If anyone knows me, hell if anyone even reads this blog on a regular basis, they will know the number one thing that's important to me in life. Not money, not where i live, not my career, not my friends, not my family-happiness. And I tend not to get along with people who don't have that same goal in life. Happiness is something i strive for everyday whether it's through trying to sell enough rooms at work, making the perfect reed, seeing how ridiculous and drunk i can get, sewing the perfect shirt, or just sitting at home realizing i've probably lived more in my life, at 23, then people who stay in the same city, in the same job, with the same people, ever will. No one will ever tell me what to do with my life and no one will ever know me as well as i do.

My ex doesn't phase me. There's a reason negative people aren't in my life anymore. I may be gross, i may pee in public, i may get drunk a lot, bla bla bla-i know i'm a good person. There's a reason my boss wouldn't let me quit and gave me a raise, a reason i've made so many friends here, a reason (most of) my ex boyfriends call me back to say sorry they were jerks. I'm extremely satisfied with the person i am at this point in my life, and i will be when i'm 30.

So for my ex boyfriend and anyone who wants to assume and perceive someone from pictures and surveys,

Take care.

Ashley.

First Friday

2007-06-04T13:10:00.000-04:00

Todd and i used to reflect, monthly, on every First Friday celebration to think about how different our lives are month to month. In fact, I probably wrote a blog about this one previous First Friday.
Last year at this time, I had just moved to Las Vegas, I was going out every night, I didn't have many bills-but my only job was Urban Outfitters so I wasn't making too much money either. I was having a lot of fun exploring the town and meeting lots of new people.
July arrived, I discovered the popular places to go, and picked up a new job for more money. August came and it was my birthday. I was a drunken mess at the Art Bar, Big Johns, and some random sushi joint. I had started dating a guy and it was my first realization that dudes from Las Vegas are fucked up.
I stopped drinking and September rolled around. I was at the art bar thinking about how I just wrecked my car, i owed my Mom $400, i had moved into a house with my own room, and i was running out of money quickly. And the next day I broke up with that crazy dude.
In October, I can't remember if i ended up at First Friday, but nonetheless I picked up a new crazy cokehead and another job.
December was the last First Friday with Todd and Mike and we headed downtown. I made a fool of myself in front of Adam West, some Santa Claus in a wheelchair, and we enjoyed our time at Art Bar and Slanted Clam. I was upset my best friends were leaving me, but glad that Morgan was still going to be around.
Weather was cold and First Friday was useless winter months.
April came and Melinda and i came out of First Friday hibernation. We celebrated at the Bunkhouse while Venessa's band played and i was-as ush-a drunk mess. I met a guy (actually 2) that night and proceeded to the Slanted Clam.
May was more drunken debauchery with Melinda and Chantal and that same dude-but we preferred the Double Down this time around.
June's First Friday has passed and Todd was back for it! I can't wait until next month with Mike again as well. We didn't even make it to downtown because the Double Down and Bunkhouse were fun enough.

Soooo...maybe the months haven't changed that month. I go to the same bars, get really ridiculous, hang out with my really fun friends, meet a guy that turns out crazy, and look forward to the next month. Now that i think about it, First Friday is what i look forward to every month because i do know what's coming. So no matter if I'm broke, have 4 jobs, or different people are around-I'm still having a really good time here.

Easy Antagonist

2007-06-01T11:06:00.000-04:00

I was listening to the Adam Corolla show this morning, like most days on the way to work, and I heard some interesting information. If a girl is antagonistic, likes to pick fights and be argumentative, she's easy. Well i just happen to be sarcastic and love to pick fights and be bitchy - so it's true!

Ways of a Woman in Love

2007-05-31T16:11:00.000-04:00

I was at work, complaining to a customer that i don't like Johnny Cash or Nirvana, and how most people think that means I should be burned alive. He agreed, but also recommended reading Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Cocoa Puffs. It's a collection of essays on Chuck Klosterman's views on life. So far, i've gotten through 3 chapters, and so far-pretty good.
The first chapter was hilarious. He writes almost as funny as the guy who does the Superficial. Anyway, this chapter is about how he will never find a woman to satisfy him. Nor will he ever satisfy a woman. Because everything in life-movies, books (i guess those are everything in life)-tells us love should be perfect. Nothing really bad happens, you end up together, bla bla bla. So girls come to expect that guys do certain things and visaaa versa.
So, as Zach Morris did in a College Years episode, I've concluded every guy is different-one guy loved to take me to dinner, one guy didn't ever have money, one guy would hold my bags while shopping, one guy refused to go out with me. So in the long run, i have to keep adjusting how i will get treated with somebody new.
I know what i like in a relationship-and i really know what i don't like. I guess i figure nobody's perfect so i'll be satisfied with part of a guy, but really hate other things he does (or doesn't do). Then it just ends up making me mad because the negatives usually outweigh the positives. So, like Chuck, I will never be truly happy with a man.
Do I swallow my anger and annoyance for every guy and brush my shoulders off at their dick moves? Or do I forever remain single and at least be pretty damn happy with myself?

And while i'm on the subject of bitching, and not in the mood to think of another clever title for a separate entry,
It's very easy to tell whether a guy does or doesn't like a girl. If you want to deny that because you're all "caught up"-understandable. But i will, time and time again, insist that if a guy is willing to choose his friends over you multiple times, doesn't care if you're upset, says he is way too stressed and tired from work or school to see you, and doesn't want to have sex very often-he doesn't like you. What's more annoying than him not liking me (because that's crazy. everybody loves me) is that guys who do this insist i am crazy and 1. they are not doing anything out of the ordinary and 2. of course they still like me.
I know this is a fail-safe way to judge, because i used to be like these guys. I came up with tons of excuses when I didn't like a guy anymore yet still wanted the company. And also because as soon as a guy like this and myself stop seeing each other, he is a completely different person with another girl. Suddenly he wants to go out, kiss in public, post pictures of her all over myspace, return calls on time. So if I seem crazy and mad, it's because they make me that way. They insist everything's fine-when i know it's not. I don't understand it, and it angers me a lot. I probably stick around crazy and mad a little longer than i always should. Oh well, a learning experience every time, right?
Damn, now Nirvana's on the radio.

Life Experiences

2007-05-25T14:28:00.001-04:00

Level 1
( ) Had an asthma attack
(x) Smoked A Cigarette
(x) Smoked A Cigar
(x) Smoked Weed (does crack count, having an addiction to it?
(x) Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
(x) Drank Alcohol
(x) Been In Love
(x) Been Dumped
(x) Been Fired
( ) Been In A Fist Fight
( )Snuck out of a parent's house
Total so far: 8

Level 2
(x) Had Feelings For Someone Who Didn't Have Them Back
(x) Been Arrested/Seen Someone You Know Get Arrested
(x) Made Out With A Stranger
(x) Gone Out On A Blind Date
(x) Had A Crush On An Older Person (my 5 year break of a younger dude trumps this)
(x) Skipped School
(x) Slept With A Co-worker
( )Seen someone/something die
Total so far: 15

Level 3
(x) Been On A Plane
(x) Thrown Up From Drinking
(x) Eaten Sushi
( ) Been Snowboarding
(x) Met Someone BECAUSE Of MySpace/Internet
(x)Been Mosh Pitting
( ) Taken Pain Killers
(x) Love(d)or Luste(d) Someone Who You Couldn't Have
(x) Been in a bad relationship
Total so far: 22

Level 4
(x) Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By
(x) Made A Snow Angel
( ) Had A Tea Party
(x) Flown A Kite
(x) Built A Sand Castle
(x) Gone Puddle Jumping
(x) Played Dress Up
(x) Jumped Into A Pile Of Leaves
(x) Gone Sledding
(x) Cheated While Playing A Game
total so far: 31

Level 5
(x) Been Lonely
(x) Fallen Asleep At Work / School
(x) Used A Fake / Someone Else's ID (convinced the dude...badly...i was 21)
(x) Watched the Sun Set / Sun Rise
() Felt An Earthquake
() Kissed A Snake
(x) Been Tickled
(x) Been Robbed / Vandalized / had something stolen from you
(x) Robbed Someone / stole something
(x) Been Misunderstood
Total so far: 39

Level 6
( ) Pet A Deer
(x) Won A Contest
() Been Suspended
(x) Had Detention
(x) Been In A Car / Motorcycle Accident
(x) Had / Have Braces
(x) Eaten a whole tub of ice cream in one night (ben and Jerry's not a 1/2 gallon)
(x) Had deja vu.
(x) Danced in the moonlight
(x) Hated The Way You Look
Total so far: 47

Level 7
() Witnessed A Crime
(x) Questioned Your Heart.
() Been obsessed with post-it-notes
(x) Squished Barefoot Through The Mud
(x) Been Lost
( ) Been To The Opposite Side Of The World
(x) Swam In The Ocean
(x) Thought You Were Dying / Going To Die (food poisoning can totally suck)
(x) Cried Yourself To Sleep
Total so far: 53

Level 8
(x) Played Cops And Robbers (let's be friends)
(x) Colored With Crayons / Coloured Pencils / Markers
(x) Sang Karaoke
(x) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't
(x) Made Prank Phone Calls
(x) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose
(x) Kissed In The Rain
(x) Written A Letter To Santa Claus
() Been Kissed Under A Mistletoe
Total so far:61

Level 9
( ) Watched The Sun Set With Someone You Care / Cared About
(x) Blown Bubbles
( ) Made A Bonfire On The Beach
(x) Crashed A Party
() Have Traveled More Than 3 Days With A Car Full Of People
(x) Gone Rollerskating / Blading
(x) Had A Wish Come True
() Been Humped By A Monkey
(x) Worn Pearls
(x) Jumped Off A Bridge
Total so far: 67

Level 10
(x) Screamed "Penis"
() Swam With Dolphins
() Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole / Freezer/Ice Cube
() Kissed A Fish
(x) Worn The Opposite Sex's Clothes
(x) Sat On A Roof Top
(x) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs
(x) Done / Attempted A One-Handed Cartwheel
( ) Talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) Stayed Up All Night
Total so far: 73

Level 11
( ) Picked And Ate A Fruit Right Off A Tree
(x) Climbed A Tree
() Had / Been In A Tree House
(x) Have not been/Are not scared To Watch Scary Movies Alone
()Seen a Ghost
(x) Have/Had More Then 30 Pairs Of Shoes or Flip Flops
() Gone streaking
(x) Been to/Visited Someone At Jail
() Played Chicken
() Been Pushed Into A Pool With All Your Clothes On
Total so far: 77

Level 12
(x) Been Told You're Hot By A Complete Stranger
(x) Broken A Bone
(X) Been Easily Amused
( ) Caught A Fish
(x) Caught A Butterfly
(X) Laughed So Hard You Cried
(x) Cried So Hard You Laughed
(x) Mooned / Flashed Someone
(x) Had someone Moon / Flash You
Total so far: 85

Level 13
(X) Cheated On A Test
(X) Forgotten Someone's Name
(X) Slept Naked
(x) French braided someones hair
() Gone Skinny Dipping
() Been Kicked Out Of Your House
() Been kicked out of a car
(X) Rode A Roller Coaster
() Went Scuba-Diving / Snorkeling
() Had A Cavity
Total so far: 90

Level 14
(X) Been Used
(X) Fell Down The Stairs
() Licked A Cat
(X) Bitten Someone
(X) Licked Someone
(x) Shot someone/something with a real gun
(x) Had sex in a field/garden/woods/beach
() Flattened someone’s tires
(X) Drove in a car until the gas light came on
(X) Bought something that weighed five pounds or more
Total: 98

Repost Your Results As:
I've completed 98 of 140 life experiences

To Live and Work in Vegas

2007-05-18T12:01:00.000-04:00

I thought this article sounded interesting. Maybe it would explain bullshit jobs here or how the young, strong, (stephanie and steve) industry professionals-but damn good and driven at what they do-do it.
But really it was just some good advice on how to deal with all the annoying people and clients you might have on a daily basis. So i'm gonna take the advice and keep working.

Moshed Up

2007-05-15T10:30:00.000-04:00

A how-to for all ya'll out there
http://www.wikihow.com/Mosh-in-a-Mosh-Pit

Crazy Lady

2007-05-01T13:38:00.000-04:00

I refuse to be in a relationship. For a couple reasons, but one of them being - I go crazy. My first relationship was totally easy. Calls every few days. We didn't have any other friends so we'd always hang out. If he or i got mad, we'd just tell each other that was stupid and get over it. It was a long relationship, so sex wasn't exactly new or exciting. Easy.

But then we broke up. And ever since then I've realized it's great to be in a relationship where it's nice to talk on the phone everyday. When we have separate friends and he doesn't mind if i come home drunk late from the bar to him or vice versa. But along with that comes other problems. Like-why isn't he getting a bit jealous that I'm not hanging out with him? Why does he choose his friends over me? Why is he calling me everyday for 2 weeks but then goes a week only calling me 3 times? Why doesn't he say I'm cute when i dress up? And why doesn't he want to have sex with me everytime i want to?

I can barely date and get even a bit attached to someone because all these things end up driving me completely crazy and I think about them all the time! Is it just that I'm on heightened awareness of these feelings during my time of the month? Or am I destined to be an awful, nutty girlfriend? I've worked on it a little-I don't get too mad when a guy wants to go out with his friends. And if he doesn't spend all his time with me-i occupy myself with other things. But I've tried working on all the other problems and end up madder than when I started. Maybe it's better this way-I'll have no ties and be able to move around, hoping for many cats as my pets, for the rest of my life doing whatever i want. Ya sure...maybe it's better that way.

Oboe Time!

2007-04-25T12:41:00.000-04:00

Yes, i change my life plan every month. OK, every week. But i got a call from my orchestra director last Friday night asking me to attend UNLV-I wouldn't have to pay. But I don't want to get a master's degree at another IUP band school with the big fish in a little pond complex.
Though my fear of being a professional oboe player is rejection, not being good enough, and never winning auditions-such a school would seem perfect. But the thought of grad school was always a conservatory to me.
My teacher was ecstatic and just waiting for this call for 2 years about when my vagabond lifestyle would finally retire. She offered some suggestions and told me to look into Oberlin because the teacher, Alex Klein, is easily "the best oboe player in the world right now." I should also check out Temple for Richard Woodhams of the Philadelphia Orchestra, Roosevelt because I like Chicago, and Boston University for all the pops and symphony faculty. She thinks I would benefit much more from an excellent orchestral player and teacher who can tell me how everything should be played, prepare me correctly for auditions, and look good on my resume.
I started to look at tuition costs ranging from $24000-$35000 and am starting to get discouraged already. But if i want a conservatory, I have to pay conservatory prices. I'm also worried about the audition process-but then I looked up Cleveland Institute, Cincinnati, New England, Yale, Manhattan, Mannes, Eastman...there's a ton out there that I'm sure I can manage to get in at least one!

I have about 9 months to prepare. Practicing always scares me a bit-there's so much to play and I don't know how to organize it well enough to keep up on etudes, scales, and just general technical building, but also kick ass at some concertos. So I've decided to write my daily work and alternate weekly between the Strauss and Mozart Concerti and my excerpts and etudes. (I'm sure this is very exciting to y'all).

In the 90's

2007-04-23T11:00:00.000-04:00

Hilary was talking about some sweet 90's jeans that she may or may not have seen on a recent date. And by sweet, i mean not at all. Though skinny jeans on men aren't my favorite, i do admit i like some fashion with the changing times-tighter, straight legged, stretch material-they all work.

I came across this site while trying to make fun of my sister. I would like to admit I was definitely a wearer of the following

The Babydoll dress. I specifically remember this in my 7th grade school pictures. or 6th grade-one of those I just looked like a tiny boy.

Mini backpack. I wish i had this at the wigger party.

Butterfly clips-i actually hated these and never wore them. i would hate when girls would wear like 10 at the front of their hair like a little crown.

Cargo Pants. Purchased at Hills!

Doc Martens. I got my first pair in 7th grade at a store in NYC. and i still have 3 pairs in my closet.

Hawaiin shirts-it was totally ska

Plastic Bracelets. I thought this was more of a total emo thing in high school.

Platforms. I got a black rubber pair at Value City in 8th grade.

Flared Jeans. Adam convinced me of this my first year of high school. They did look way better than baggy or tappered jeans. Paris Blues or LEI were my favorite brands-from the DEB shop that is.

Tommy clothes. Usually just for wiggers, but Tommy Girl was really cute! And i got it at the outlets in Reading when Hilary went to Junior Miss. Dave Toner used to make fun of me real bad for that.

Young and Restless

2007-04-03T11:10:00.000-04:00

An old friend from college was visiting Vegas and i met up with him last night. He was enamored with this town: gambling, partying, inexpensive, constant fun. He graduates in a month and is ready to go anywhere the job takes him, with a hope for Las Vegas.
I was looking up the best and fastest growing cities the young college educated choose to live. It seems Atlanta is at the top of the list with Pittsburgh, Minneapolis, Ashville, Nashville, and Austin behind. Cities look to keep young people very occupied with strips of bars and easy transportation, and young people look to cities to give them culture, diversity, and lots of things to do.
Vegas wasn't on a lot of the lists, but it's understandble why young people would want to move here. Aaron was saying he'd move here. Party all the time. So what if he didn't save any money-breaking even would be fine, and all it would take would be 1 or 2 years of his life to just live it up. I guess I've done that. Partying all the time loses it's glamour when you've run out of money though. Places, people, and drunkness all starts to feel the same. But when he said that, I realize it was incredibly awesome to take a year and just have fun!

Sister sisterrrrrrr

2007-03-30T17:06:00.000-04:00

Hee-hee's coming for a visit. I'm already excited! Las Vegans always say the only reason to go down to the strip or to do touristy things is when someone comes to visit. Luckily, Hilary's done the main LV crap (cirque show, pirate show, gambling, seeing most of the major casinos), so I get to take her to the cool in-depth tourist crap!
When she arrives Wednesday, i think we'll take a bar tour of really good beer and my favorite spots.
The Freakin Frog is a UNLV hangout so we can pickup young men and drink belgian beer. We'll head across the street to Crown and Anchor for an english pub atmosphere. Then drive over to the Divebar for a rock-n-roll scene and end the east side tour at The Double Down-the happiest (and dirtiest) place on earth! Maybe we'll hit up the Emergency Room themed bar, the posh looking Artisan,, the Art Bar, and the $1 PBR home-Slanted Clam on the way home.
On Thursday, very hungover, we will check into the Golden Nugget and bask all day in their newly renovated, completely awesome pool! Then we can explore Freemont street all night drinking dollar margaritas, gambling for cheap, going to the Beauty bar, Downtown, the Griffin-and maybe i can convince her to eat at a buffet.
Friday leaves the regular touristy stuff. We'll walk the strip, probably gamble at the Riviera or Slots 'o Fun for a nickle a game, drink a Scorpion at the Peppermill and maybe enjoy dinner at the Top of the World! We might catch a show that night too.

It will definitely be a hilarious and fun time. I'll get to go places and do things I normally wouldn't (and I'm assuming she wouldn't either), and it'll just be good to be with my sister sister again.

Viva Las Vegas?

2007-03-29T14:29:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I went to yet another place to talk about renting out a room for an all ages battle of bands. And yet again-I got a no. I'm so discouraged that no one cares about kids and supporting them in this town. I'm over 21, I guess I shouldn't be complaining-i drinking whenever i can, wherever i can, i'm at the prime party time of my life at the prime party spot of the nation. I suppose it's a catch 22: it's constant drunk spring break in Las Vegas, but i never get to go back to regular non-spring break time.
In New York you can semi-escape by going to Central Park, or a zoo, or a museum. Sure, there's suburbs here, but say i'm speaking from a 16-year-olds view: there's nothing for kids to do here! I was talking to somebody about growing up here, telling them that Hanover didn't have anything special either. But we'd go to movies, malls, hang out the house, football games, parks-all things every small town or big city has! Why can't kids here do that and be happy?
Well when a city is based on partying-that's the only thing it really cares about. It promotes drinking, it promotes sex, it promotes being up all night to party-not thing kids need to start at age 13. Being a drug addict or having sex all the time or drinking at 18 doesn't make you a bad person, but what the affect the lifestyle has on people can.
No wonder Las Vegans are completely depressed about life and complain all the time-they've put so much shit into their body and their brain all their life. They don't learn that there's redeeming qualities about making your self and your body happy so they never will be. They never want to leave here because they don't realize there's an advantage to that. The next closest place is about 4 hours away so they haven't grown up learning there's more out there and there's different people to meet. Working service or retail jobs for their whole life is no big deal, cause those can be the best paying jobs here.
I really like Las Vegas sometimes, and everybody that said 'you'll hate it there'-never really had a reason. But i know why-the people don't care about themselves, each other, and it's lead me to realize there's no way it'll change. There's no future here that will lead to a good career anywhere else. I guess I should just come back on spring break.

Party Time

2007-03-19T21:22:00.000-04:00

Our parties are always a good time. And everybody always gets real drunk. And we always have good themes. This time: 90's hip hop wigger/white trash

I went for a TLC-esque look

Including sweet tattoos and gold teeth

Stacy didn't have an outfit, so I thought my sweet velour jumpsuit would go well

Nick and Crum show up yelling yo yo yo

We put our dirtyass couch outside in the backyard. Which...made it look even more ghetto

A couple work girls roll in, completely wasted, and were the life of the party. They knocked on everybody's 40's and foam was everywhere.

My boy Vince was wasted and got in a super bad car accident going home, but luckily he's ok!

And by the end of the night, we put on rediculous jumpsuits and jumped all over the walls

A lot of people came, different policemen rolled up about 3 or 4 times, Liz walked into the glass door, I was pushed down the stairs, a broken 40 bottle slit my hand, and a fight broke out in our kitchen. And unfortunately, I woke up to my laptop screen shattered. Our house still smells like a lot of beer, but it was worth it.

Vegas Friends?

2007-03-15T10:15:00.000-04:00

Maybe it's that I didn't "grow up" in Vegas-but half, if not the majority, of my friends are from here. They all think this is true, but i beg to differ on a few.

Body: VEGAS FRIENDS OVER NORMAL FRIENDS!

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FRIENDS: Tell you not to do something stupid when drunk

Las Vegas FRIENDS: Will post 360 degree security so you dont get caught

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FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs

Las Vegas FRIENDS: Call your parents drunk as hell and tell them about the fat chick you tried to pick up

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FRIENDS: Hope the night out drinking goes smoothly, and hope that no one is late for the ride home.

Las Vegas FRIENDS: Know some wild shit will happen, and set up rally points and an E & E route.

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FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.

Las Vegas FRIENDS: Will be sitting next to you saying, Damn...that shit was fun "

YES ON THIS ONE
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FRIENDS: Cry with you.

Las Vegas FRIENDS: laugh at you

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FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.

Las Vegas FRIENDS: Steal each other ' s stuff so often nobody remembers who bought it in the first place.

YES ON THIS ONE
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FRIENDS: Are happy that someone picked up a one night stand and leave them alone.

Las Vegas FRIENDS: Will Crawl naked into the room with a camera and hope for the tag team.

YES ON THIS ONE FOR DRUNK QUOTES
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FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.

Las Vegas FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.

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FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that ' s what the crowd is doing.

Las Vegas FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

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FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.

Las Vegas FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'm home!"

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FRIENDS: Will try and talk to the bouncer when you get tossed out of the bar.

Las Vegas FRIENDS: Will buck up and go after the bouncer for touching you on the way out.

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FRIENDS: Will wish you had enough money to go out that night, and are sorry you couldn't come.

Las Vegas FRIENDS: Will share their last dollar with you, drag you along, and try to steal free drinks all night.

TRUE, BUT I'D DO THIS PRETTY MUCH ANYWHERE
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FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.

Las Vegas FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "Bitch, you better drink the rest of that shit, you know we don't waste. That's alcohol abuse!!!"

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FRIENDS: Want the money they loaned you back next week.

Las Vegas Friends: Can't begin to remember who owes who money after taking care of each other for so long.

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FRIENDS: Will say "I can't handle Tequila anymore".

Las Vegas FRIENDS: Will say "okay, just one more..." and then 2 minutes later "okay, just one more!".

I HAVE A FEW FRIENDS HERE LIKE THIS
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FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.

Las Vegas FRIENDS: Will knock them the Fuck out!!

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FRIENDS: Will tell you "They'd take a bullet for you."

Las Vegas FRIENDS: Will actually take a bullet for you.

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FRIENDS: Will ignore this

Las Vegas FRIENDS: Will repost this

Maybe they don't know that you can have drunk, hilarious friends that will also be there for you and care about you. I havent seen somebody from Vegas like that yet.

The Yearly Mark

2007-03-12T12:38:00.000-04:00

After graduating, moving to Baltimore, and realizing I didn't really enjoy it, I thought moving to a different city every year until I found a great job or my handsome, rich, wonderful future husband, would be a great idea! First was Baltimore, and then was Las Vegas. I've had a lot of fun here-I know a hell of a lot of people, I've had great opportunities, and I've been able to unleash my inner party animal almost every day of the week. Unfortunately, I don't have any great friends here or a secure job.

My roommate is ending our lease in August; he got orders to go to Korea. All the other roommates are gone to Austin, Portland, San Diego, etc. I thought I'd forego my yearly move because I'd been having a lot of fun here, but this is the push I needed to go back on my city-wide adventures.

Thinking where I'd like go next, I thought should I leave Las Vegas?
Pros: I know a lot of people. I get to play my oboe here. I get to set up shows (if things will start working out). I'm starting Punk Rock Karaoke! Things are really cheap and there's always somewhere to go and something to do. I love the weather.
Cons: I don't have any real good friends and I don't think I'm going to make any. I'm sick of the bars and people-there's nothing left to discover. There are a lot of opportunities, but they aren't stable enough to help me in the long run. It's really far away from my friends and family.

I've been putting a list together of other cities I might like to try. So the pros and cons of those are
Chicago.
It's a really cool and pretty city. Not too far from PA either.
But I don't know anyone there. It's more expensive than LV. I don't have any job prospects. And it gets way cold.

Portland.
It's young and liberal. Morgan lives there and can introduce me to lots of people. Everything's walking distance. My car insurance will be cheaper. I can transfer Urban Outfitters and I have hookups with job prospects. A good, growing music scene. Some 24 hour places. Really affordable.
But I hate hipsters and it's pretty much the mecca of all. It gets really rainy. It seems like a very transitional city where I'd end up wanting to move again. It's still real far from PA.

San Jose/San Fran
I've never been, but Chade thinks I'll adore it. It's right by the beach. Great weather. A lot of music with some major companies in the area.
But it's really expensive. And the only person I know is an ex boyfriend.

Pittsburgh.
The only reason it's on the list is because that's where my friends live. And i'd be near home which i miss a lot.
I don't love Pittsburgh-I think it's boring and I'd get sick of it real fast. There's no opportunity for me to grow in the music business career there, I'd just be working at some random job and wasting my life.

So as of now, 5 months away, Portland is looking quite possible. Though it hasn't stopped me from applying to cool jobs anywhere. I wonder where I'll be April 2008.

Annoyance

2007-02-26T13:20:00.000-05:00

Things that really annoy me:

Slow drivers in a parking garage. The level is all full. Driving slow will not make spots show up.

People in line at the airport shoving me. We're all going to the same place at the same time on the same plane. Moving your bags and yourself 3 inches every 30 seconds is not necessary-especially when it means pushing me or yelling at me.

When people that are sick act like they're going to die. This mostly includes men. Like my exboyfriend.

Lifting up a shirt sleeve to see tattoos. And then the person tells their own story about their shitty tattoos. This doesn't happen to me-but i bet it's still really annoying.

by the way-i was on the phone with my dad last night. he said "Hold on, i just swallowed a candy wrapper."

The madness

2007-02-22T13:20:00.000-05:00

I don't know what made me decide to want to attend this yearly, drunk, crazy event, but one day last summer I told Mike, Chad, and Todd that it would be a great idea to reunite at Mardi Gras in New Orleans! I looked up the flights, booked a cheap and close hotel, and it was in the works. Also joining was Jessicant and Jared from IUP, Porno Dan from LA, and Brian and Kevin Spacey from Todd's work.

It took about 2 hours to reroute around the parade going on, but on our venture, we saw most of the condemned/wrecked houses and they had marked coordinates. Maybe for inspecting, quarentine, i really don't know. It was pretty depressing to see all the abandoned houses and busineses but finally we got to our hotel. We all came separately, with the hotel being a bit suspicious of fitting so many people in one room, but quickly ran out, grabbed some frozen hurricanes, and ate at a Jazz Bistro. I had Crawfish Etoufee, Todd had Jumbalaya, and we watched a guitar player.

We headed back up Bourbon Street to a parade that was going on and stopped by a few bars and shops. The street was already getting crazy, filling up with Dixieland bands, frat boys, sex and strip joints, beads, and crazies

(a live sex show shop)

We headed up to the first parade for us. We say Taylor Hicks American Idol!, Journey had a float, and a bunch of Saint's players were throwing beads. There were already people in costumes and just blitzed. We started our weekend of Sparks at the same time and returned to many of the hundreds of port-a-potties over and over.

(kevin federline?)

(i told this guy to look like a dinosaur)

(guess we couldn't find potties this time. 8 of us just peed on the street)

(a beeded hippie mobile on the street. it's where i'd smoke all my weed...if i smoked weed)

We had made a bet that Chad was the drunkest and would probably fall first...but we didn't expect that by me pushing him, he'd break his ankle. Now he has to have plates in it for the rest of his life. And it's still funny to me.

this is where he actually fell

chad being miserable

us being drunk and making chad more miserable

Porno Dan came, we went to Carosel, Voodoo, and Dungeon themed bars.

He drank a 4 dollar Huge Ass Beer while the rest of us drank from other theme-cupped drinks. Like Jessicant's "Horny Gator" in some Alligator Cup, Jared's "Hand Grenade" which had this mean face printed on a ...Grenade. And Todd and Dan got these sweet Goblin cups.

The next day we woke up, went our separate ways, and Todd, Dan, and I walked in the Riverwalk (pretty much a worse version of the Inner Harbor.) We ate fried alligator (mine was on a Po-Boy) and we saw another parade. We couldn't even figure out the theme it was so random-Beauty and The Beast, Wizrd of Oz, Peanut Butter and Jelly???

these huge ladders were all up and down the street that people would stand up on. It looked like families prepared a year ahead of time to make their own

We ended up at Landry's for dinner, eating Fried Crab Legs and Gumbo.

I met up with my coworker, Jessica, who is from Louisianna. She insisted on taking us to Two Sisters Kitchen for some Southern Cookin. (Not the Two Sister's Court, which my mother reccommended. And which was really expensive.) I got fried chicken, red beans and rice, and cornbread. Todd had some smothered Pork Chops...mmm.

Then we walked around, saw a bunch of bands, and explored the French Market. It just seemed like a gloried Flea Market, but it smelled delicious! We shopped at some punk stores, danced to some bands, and drank some more hurricanes. We saw Jackon Square, costumes, and gutterpunks (apparently I just missed the gutterpunk walking parade!)

There were some live statues that moved if you threw them money.

This guy let us pick a song and then "play it"

We ate a shitload of crawfish that night. 2 pounds each to be exact! It was kinda like eating crabs (they used old bay), but not as much meat.

That night, we got free passes to a Sparks party. If you have any idea how much i love Sparks, you know how much more I love a Sparks open bar with Mickey Avalon performing. We couldn't go in the VIP area because there was a Saints player and Better Than Ezra! I did have a danceoff with some man doing a gorilla walk-and somehow he won. A dixiland band also waltzed in the club and just got up on stage to play-I really like that about the south. and about Mardi Gras.

We gambled a bit. Todd and i learned how to play craps! And i lost 5 bucks in BlackJack.

It was dirty, but awesome!

Show Time

2007-02-16T13:09:00.001-05:00

It's been quite awhile since I've really put on a show. Since bands played parties in our basement. Since kids smoked in the bathroom and pissed on walls and venues never called me back. Since I ran small pa's for local kids and some touring band i dug.
I had my first Supernova meeting and walked into the venue which looked a lot like an Amvets basement i used to rent out for about $50 a night. Costs are a little different, and the idea of throwing 10-12 bands on the bill is also a little different, but all my excitement came back from the 5 years ago i used to do it. From the bands we met with, some were really excited, some just walked out, and some were pretentious.
Either way, my boss was totally chill and quite sure the Supernova format will work anywhere. I'm sitting with a feeling, maybe because I'm the only girl in the room, or maybe it's because I think this will end up just like Pennsylvania-but I was a bit nervous. Nervous that no matter how i run things, it will never be good enough for the scene. That kids will badmouth me for no reason other than to do it. That since i don't go to every show in the city and haven't been in the scene for 10 years, I'm not good enough to even be doing it. Ok so now i'm just ranting about Hanover and making it sound like i actually take it seriously.
But my thoughts of having venues shutdown because of dancing and bands bitching and complaing are valid concerns of mine. Las Vegas does seem a lot cooler for how people treat each other and that bands are glad to just be playing. And I am older and I'm backed by a huge company this time. But I won't change the person I am to try and become some wellknown scenester around town knowing every band in the area or care if they have some great respect for what i do. Screw what other people think-i'm really excited for the show!

The Good Ol' VD

2007-02-14T12:12:00.000-05:00

For the first time in 5 years, i don't have a Valentine. No bed and breakfast getaway, nice romantic dinner, flowers shipped to my house, not even a man to pretend I crush on. I read last year's post at this time and I was so chipper. Perhaps i was expecting a surprise visit from Steve, perhaps I was just trying to find a way to break up my boring workday.
I'm not excited for love, flowers, or sex today-but I certainly am excited! I'll be spending my Valentine's Day with Girltalk, Kanye West, Gnarles Barkley, Spank Rock, and Lupe Fiasco. My outfit for this dancefest consists of: a silver, spandex unitard, black vest, pink furry boots and scarf, and silver sparkly wig. And a can of Sparks beforehand.
It doesn't feel like VD, i wore red on accident and no one here cares if their husbands/bfs take them out tonight or not. Looks like I'll have to bring the love, because I can't miss celebrating a holiday!