Sounds like me

I was reading this book my sister gave me, The Idiot Girl's Action-Adventure Club, and it just happens to descibe my position in the bathroom (though she hates these people)

The Hoverer:
Perhaps to avoid using a time-consuming potty protector, perhaps to mark her territory, this offender won't let her bottom touch the seat, although it's perfectly OK if her byproducts do. Now, the target area of a bowl is rather generous, so the reasons for a misfire are rather mysterious to me, unless the participant is completely standing up and aiming from a corner. Hovering is never, NEVER acceptable behavior unless you just dug a hole in the forest. Remember this the next time you're tempted to resist a complete landing: "Don't Leave Your Mark, Just Sit Down and Park."

It's true, the target is a generous area, but I quite often miss-#s 1 and 2! (bet you guys wanted to hear that)