Crazy Lady

I refuse to be in a relationship. For a couple reasons, but one of them being - I go crazy. My first relationship was totally easy. Calls every few days. We didn't have any other friends so we'd always hang out. If he or i got mad, we'd just tell each other that was stupid and get over it. It was a long relationship, so sex wasn't exactly new or exciting. Easy.

But then we broke up. And ever since then I've realized it's great to be in a relationship where it's nice to talk on the phone everyday. When we have separate friends and he doesn't mind if i come home drunk late from the bar to him or vice versa. But along with that comes other problems. Like-why isn't he getting a bit jealous that I'm not hanging out with him? Why does he choose his friends over me? Why is he calling me everyday for 2 weeks but then goes a week only calling me 3 times? Why doesn't he say I'm cute when i dress up? And why doesn't he want to have sex with me everytime i want to?

I can barely date and get even a bit attached to someone because all these things end up driving me completely crazy and I think about them all the time! Is it just that I'm on heightened awareness of these feelings during my time of the month? Or am I destined to be an awful, nutty girlfriend? I've worked on it a little-I don't get too mad when a guy wants to go out with his friends. And if he doesn't spend all his time with me-i occupy myself with other things. But I've tried working on all the other problems and end up madder than when I started. Maybe it's better this way-I'll have no ties and be able to move around, hoping for many cats as my pets, for the rest of my life doing whatever i want. Ya sure...maybe it's better that way.