My apparenlty good enough for you to be reading about.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

I forget I have this sometimes

I was looking at a fellow Blogger's site and thought, damn, I have to link to this to leave a comment? Allrrriiigghhttt. Might as well make my most current post less "i hate life because i'm sad" and more "life's going pretty well."

I'm an independent and positive person and it takes a lot to bring me down and a lot to get me unmotivated, so I've decided I need more Ashley time. That's hard to do when I'm out 4 nights a week taking pictures for yinzerparty, or running around trying to enjoy all the restaurants of Pittsburgh with good friends, or handling work events. But I need it: Ashley time.

It took a few new dates for me to realize how I lose a bit of myself depending on my company. There's definitely a strength in being able to adapt oneself to a certain situation, but I think that strength turns into a bad thing when you've changed your best assets. I'm loud, I'm crass, I like to drink, I like to talk about "inappropriate" subjects, I like to eat junk food, I like to meet new people, and I like to laugh...a lot. Sometimes I hide 1 or 2 of those qualities because I don't know if the person I'm with can handle it or wants to see it. Then after a few dates I realize, hey I'm not myself.

After taking a step back and realizing that's what I did in my last relationship, I now know that someone either has to take all of me or none of me. It's no one's fault but mine; if I'm not comfortable being all that I am, either ask what's up or walk away. This Ashley time is to figure out who I am again and be comfortable with that again so that other people can feel comfortable with it.


Post a Comment

<< Home