From PA to NV

After 7 days, over 3,000 miles, a bottle of aleve for my back, and only one sunburned arm that hung outside the drivers window, i have made the treck across the grand United States. I passed through Pennsylvania, West Virginia, Kentucky, Tennessee, Mississippi, Arkansas, Oklahomo, New Mexico, and Arizona, to reach Sin City Nevada.
I suppose some would take that trip to figure out their life, decide what they're going to do, and get to know themself. I took the time to visit some of the most hilarious tourist attractions and listen to a large amount of my 300 cds.

JT says i had an exact square where i could sit and try to reach the doritos in the back seat. The car was pretty full.

I started out with a VERY long drive to Louisville, KY. After dirty WV, KY was so green and pretty. It started to get a little bit boring, but not when i got into the city! I stayed with Robert's-Sister's-Friend, Reem, and she took me to the hipster bar for karoake.


This guy totally looked like Robert. But looks more like a pyscho in this picture


Reem and Ben


Aside from knocking over people's beer cans all night, trying to tear some kids shirt off, and slapping somebody in the face, I called everyone Ben that night. Like this kid


Unfortunately, we didn't get to sing our duet of White Snake, but it was such a damn good time anyway!


Then it was onto route 65 on the way down to Tennessee. I pulled off to see the world's mammoth cave but stopped by Dinosaur World instead.

This is the entrance


There were more than 20 of these things with information on all of them


It's photosauras


mmm...I'm in his big crotch


Look, it's punk rock dinosaurs


Then i found the corvette museum, which is awesome because i love corvettes.


Steve said if i buy a cheap one, he'll restore it. I liked this one.


I headed into Nashville. It was very pretty-i saw a plethora of boot stores, blues clubs, old buildings and street performers that sang country.


The buildings were awesome. Like this tattoo shop.


I stopped to see the exact built-to-size replica of the Parthenon.




It's a good thing i didn't stick around long because tornados hit that area hard! I headed down to Memphis to stay with Jerry and Yvonne. He had some absolutely hilarious stories and was such a great tourguide.

He also had this fatass cat that i was allergic too. But that's ok


This is the closest we could get to Graceland without spending $30.


So we bought a sharpie and wrote on the wall outside




The gate outside


We then drove to Mississippi to this rediculous place called Graceland Too. Basically, it's a man who has so much Elvis shit in his house, including every movie, picture, record, and wine bottle that has ever existed. While his dentures were falling out, we deciphered that he was recreating Jail House Rock in his backyard, his son named Elvis Aron Presley McCloud is single and looking, and his collection is worth millions.




Jerry and I among the walls of Elvis


Here he is!


We also had southern BBQ and came across some weird abandoned building that smelled like urine


I figured since i was in the south, I would really like a pair of cowboy boots. I usually hate them, but these were so pretty i couldn't pass them up.


I saw some of the downtown, the skyline, and the Mississippi River.



They figured it would be real southern and confederate to not only show me a park with a statue of the founder of the KKK, but to go to some real redneck bars.





We sang karaoke too. And Jerry did a very convincing version of Beat It


The south reaaaaally loves their Sonic and Brauns ice cream, or however it is spelled. We don't get these up north, so Steve was pretty jealous that I got to go.



I drove into Oklahoma City and called Robert to see if there was anything to do besides see the memorial. Southern cities were pretty weird to me-it was a Saturday and it was completely dead. I was pretty much the only car on the road-not anything like what i am used too. It made the memorial feel even more creepy. I felt a little weird standing on that ground.





I was driving for about 13-14 hours into Texas so I was getting really tired. But I was greeted into the state by the world's largest cross! I also found the VW Bug Ranch where I painted my name



See it on the door?


The best photo opportunites in Amarillo were at The Big Texan-home of the free 70oz steak dinner...if you can eat it in under an hour.


I'd like a ride in this


I'd like a ride on this too


The free dinner!


Man, everything is bigger in Texas


My friends and i stopping for a meal


Right outside of the city is the Cadillac Ranch-10 old cadillacs buried into the ground. It felt like i was walking 5 miles to reach them, but it was really cool to see



I wrote my name on the side this time


And Steve's so he could be near Cadillacs in spirit




Then I saw this weird sign. Crreeeepppyyy


New Mexico was an ugly desert and was completely boring. But once I got into the Rocky Mountains it was pretty.



I stopped in Albuquerqe and asked some kid what was worthwhile to see. He showed me the way to the mall-works for me. All through NM and AZ there were indian trading posts with turqoise jewelry and leather products.

I thought this was bad, but evetually i paid $3.09!!


I tried to see the really random ostrich farm/petrified wood but it was dark and not open. Then i noticed there were dinosaur statues along the highway. So finally i reached my Wig Wam! I was considering going to some townie bars, but opted on a six pack of Schlitz for myself in my Wig Wam.



There were also old cars parked at the motel. I think when it was first opened, the owner really loved his impalas


I pulled off the highway to see the biggest meteor crater. Then i realized it was $15 to see! What a ripoff! It's not like Arizona built it. I headed to Sedona, AZ, home of the red rocks. It was the most gorgeous scenery I've ever seen. I'm pretty sure I saw the Grand Canyon-and it was the biggest thing i've ever seen. After 25 curving miles down into a canyon and not being allowed on the tourbus, i went around and took pictures myself.





I drove through the Hoover Dam and there were lookout points everywhere. It was really cool to see



I finally got to Vegas! Riding down the strip I had no idea this city is so big. I passed a wedding chapel with an old couple getting their picture taken. Some adult stores, strip joints, and lots of casinos.

I didn't know there would be palm trees here


But thank god there's a Nascar themed place


FINALLY! I met up with Todd and we went to The Art Bar to enjoy my first drink in my new city.