giving up

i gave up on my shoe-a-day blogging. mainly because i bought the $200 jeffrey campbell wedges, but also because i've been going through a rough time. as for the wedges, they're amazing and comfortable and i've only fallen twice. now if i could only remember the 50 outfits i thought up in my head in order to justify me buying them...
as for the rough time, i've been broken up with. i'm completely broken hearted and anxious and confused and sad and angry all at the same time. turns out it's doing wonders for weightloss-i can't eat or sleep so i've dropped a few pounds :)
i keep thinking over and over about what happened and what i did wrong and why i wasn't good enough or worth working on. i come up with all these reasons that are my fault. if i hadn't yelled at him for not saying the right thing here, or if i'd have shut my mouth when a certain something bothered me, or if i'd have just ignored something he said that i took as a putdown...then maybe everything would be ok and we'd be together.
i was reading frank turner and tim barry lyrics (maybe not the best thing to do when you're sad), and one of my favorites quotes to take away was 'truth is hard, guilt is easy'

is it easier for me to blame myself that i pushed him away, rather than accept that maybe he just doesn't love me anymore? is it easier for me to blame myself that if i hadn't brought something up, then we'd be together right now?
is it easier to blame him for not 'learning to fight' and 'learning to drink together' and 'learning how to compromise' than admit that i didn't learn them either? is it easier to be so angry at him for ending this than admit the truth that we just didn't work together?
anything is easier to think right now than the reality of not being with him anymore. this sucks...

Week 2...still

You know what's annoying when you ask someone to take your picture? They cut you off, don't center you, or have something in the background sticking out of your head. So even though this past week I've done a good job getting through the collection of shoes I own, I've come up with no good pictures. So last night I put all the outfits together again, and voila, I'm down another 5 pairs!

I got these wedges with strawberries on them at the Mall of America. I don't particularly like them, but I needed to buy something, anything at the mall. I rarely wear them and they really hurt my feet in weird places, so I'm going to retire them. At least I had one last good run.



My favorite Miss Sixty dress! I don't even like these shoes with it, I usually sport my western boots to mix up a little rough and soft. But I wanted to try something different...so I pulled out the only pair of brown heels I have. I don't think I've ever needed to wear them more than once a year, but there's always that one suit or dress that can only go with brown.



It's not hard to wear my cowboy boots with anything, because I love them. But it's 90 degrees and it's going to stay that way for the next 3 months, so I can only wear them when there's a nice breeze outside.



Although Steve Madden steals other people's designs, his shoes are comfortable. And they often go on sale! I really love these platform booties and haven't found much they don't match.




I was soooo opposed to gladiator sandals when they first came out. But then I saw my girl, Sarah, rock them. And I thought, hey I can warm up to these! I went to my favorite ghetto/cheapo shoe store downtown and bought these puppies for less than $20. That's why both soles are cracked in half. I just avoid wearing them on rainy days

Week 2

I went to a white party to snap some shots for my website, yinzerparty.com this weekend. I wore a dress I made that I hardly ever pull out, because...it's white. I guarded my cranberry and vodka VERY closely. The best shoes that I only wear twice a year for this dress? Sequined vintage heels that go great with the lightning bolt. It's worth it to keep a pair of shoes to match only one dress in my closet...right?