My apparenlty good enough for you to be reading about.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Richie Rich

I don't know if i could have the drive to do something like this. But it'd be great to make that much money and be that important!
My friend thinks everybody has a drive in themselves to do really great and work hard for something like a CEO position. But i don't know if I'd ever have the passion.

I'm gonna be a life long student instead.

Monday, October 29, 2007

LA the real way

I went to LA the first weekend i moved to the west coast. Well, it turned into me only going to Hollywood and I've been meaning to go back ever since. I know quite a few people out there and couldn't wait to visit high school, college, and random friends. But, shocker, not too many people followed through.
I met up with Eric and Dan, reminisced, and finally got my Pez tattoo. I walked around the garment district, upon recommendation from my coworkers. It was really cool to see all the fabric, beads, and accessories. I don't work on clothes too much anymore but if i did-it would have been great! We walked around downtown and i came to the realization that la is a lot bigger than i thought. There were signs everywhere for the ballet, symphony, and the arts district (which is nice to know considering i got a recommendation for checking out USC for grad school). We then headed to Venice Beach where i expected to see some major crazies. It was a little rainy and a little late, so unfortunately it ended up a bit like the Ocean City Boardwalk (did i just say unfortunately??). There was a bum walking on glass, a rollerblader with a guitar and attached amp, and a couple good costumes. And the idea of muscle beach really cracked me up.

We met up with another Hanoverian that night, and Aaron took us out in Hollywood to Powerhouse and Tini's, the cheap punk rock bars in the area. Last call sucks but it was really fun to see all the crazy LA people dressed up for Halloween, and it seemed fun to walk around the crowded city in such nice weather!
The next day we went to Santa Monica and saw the Pier and drove up the PCH to look at the houses in Malibu. We ate lunch at a really awesome fish place. I don't even like fish and i loved it.

The tattoo (unfinished)

Yes, it hurt. But no, not as much as i thought it would

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Butt Hurt: Hilary's Favorite Term

I was just reading this article on people's perceptions between men crying and women crying. I really have no blog entry about it, but just to say i wish i didn't get so 'butt hurt' about everything.
For those of you on the east coast (because i've found this is only a west coast saying), that means you get upset and are overly sensitive about everything. Like when my boss asked 'why haven't you sold much at work?' or when my friend tells me that i'm being an annoying drunk.
I remember when i almost got in a car accident, when i broke the bari sax i borrowed, or when i was complaining about my friend-i'd talk to my mom about it all. I'd just cry and cry when she yelled at me for it all and i always wished i would change and not be such a crybaby.

But that is what i am and will always be. A butt hurt crybaby. Oh well!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007



Monday, October 22, 2007

Cell Phone Disaster

At this point, I've lost track of how many phones I have gone through. Miraculously, I've only paid for one of them over the last 3 years.
I dropped my first one in the toilet. It was after only having the phone for 4 months, but luckily that weekend Janice was in town and she gave me her old slider. The next summer I dropped that slider at one of ewic's parties. Nicole gave me an old phone of hers-it was quite nice. Someone found the slider for me. About a month passed and something happened to Nicole's phone so I again went back to the slider.
I had it all the way until the next summer when it was time to get my free upgrade from Verizon. I got a really nice video/camera/mp3 phone. It lasted me almost a year until I dropped it on St. Patrick's day. Somebody picked it up and was answering my calls saying they kidnapped me. Jerks. So i again went back to the slider.
My slider finally bit the dust a few months ago after i left it in my purse and a bunch of beer exploded all over it.
A kind coworker hooked me up with one of the older envys. I loved that phone-it was like a fake sidekick and i could get online and text message real fast! But saturday night i dropped it...somewhere.
Good thing i picked up an old razor another coworker had when she was moving. It's slow and not as easy to text, but i guess it's a phone. My 6th phone.

Friday, October 19, 2007


Well, i closed a big deal yesterday. No, correction: a huge deal.
Providing everything goes through, and providing my taxes this year aren't too much over 25% of my income, I've already reached my school goal of 12 grand, 1 grand for apps, and another thou for my trip across america. I can even go to europe next summer on 2 thousand.
So, what to do with my money now? I bought a book hoping for advice on investing, but i'm just so scared of losing it all and stressing out that i think i'll listen to my mother instead.
I'd like to pay off half of my car and refinance the rest, get rid of my pesky credit card and get one that's a reasonable interest rate, pay off my cheapest school loan, and treat myself to something nice.

So in my thought of treating myself, i walked through the mall going in and out of dior, chanel, dolce and gabana, and fendi. The purses i liked were are about $2,000. I could honestly afford that at this point, but $2000? Really? What happens next year when i'm eating top ramen and living in a closet thinking wow, i've got this really sweet purse beside me. But i'd much rather have the money.
I can't even bring myself to walk in a nicer shoe store and invest in a pair of heels that won't fall apart after a few months. My value city nine west ones are completely unwearable (though i still wear them) after 4 years. I don't even know if i want to give them up, or why i wouldn't just keep buying a bunch of cheap tj maxx pairs.

I guess i've been so used to being frugal my whole life. That's probably a good thing-that's why i actually have money in the bank and why my friends that are the same age can't manage to save up money to pay off credit cards or to go to school. Besides steak dinners and shots for everybody at the bar, I promise to actually spend this big check on myself. So maybe you'll see me with a fendi bag, some gucci shoes, or about 10 shopping bags from ross.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007


I was reading an old blog entry of mine about Buddhist dating advice and i'm glad i went back over it to remind myself of some things. Though i don't need to directly mention what i'm talking about, because Hilary and Bethany (probably the only people who read this), i tell my life daily to, Buddhists live in the present. Things that have happened to people in the past, and worrying about the future, should not affect what is going on in the present.
Unfortunately, I've let myself dwell on something in someone's past and it's affecting me in a bad way. I feel like a drama queen who's thinking about it a lot and being angry when, in actuality, it doesn't matter right here right now.
So from this point on: Forget the past, ignore the future. If that gets me hurt in a relationship, at least I had fun when I was in it. If that means I'm concentrating on work and leaving studying till the end of the day, at least i'm making great money.

To Buddhism!!

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

What is love?

Baby don't hurt me...

No but really. I wonder what the difference between loving somebody and being in love is all about. I think about it a lot every now and then, what's different between people i date that i just like? or that i love? or that i pretend or think is something different? Why does this even bother me...
Some of my friend who are my age, even older, say they've never been in love. I think that's such a shame, but why? Do i even know what it is?

I was pretty confused when Jim and I broke up. I thought, well...we were gonna get married. We spent every minute together. But now it's done. What's that mean?
Then I was even more confused when I got a new boyfriend. He seemed to be the exact opposite type of relationship from Jim and I, so did that mean I wasn't in love with him?

I've always thought there were different types of love-that's how we're able to love more than one person in our lives. But is that ok to do? Am i supposed to compare how much I felt for one person to what i feel for another person?

Maybe it's the intensity of a relationship. Jim and I would tell each other how much we meant to each other everyday, go on vacation, celebrate our monthly anniversaries. But then i compare that with Chade; We just had a completely fun, drama free relationship. That's the type of guy he was though-he never needed to be intense, we never needed pictures together or a nickname for our couple, we just had fun. I think i took that to mean i couldn't possibly be in love with him. Later, I think i convinced myself i was in love with Heroin Aaron-he told me how important i was to him and it made me feel so great. Did i mistake that for love because it seemed so intense?

Or does it have to do with some timeframe? I dated Chade knowing that it would end in 7 months. So maybe i wouldn't let myself think i was in love because i didn't want to have to give that up. I had the opportunity of forever with Jim.

Maybe in love isn't so much different than love. Maybe it's just a matter of how much you're able to connect and intertwine your lives together. When you're with somebody that you see a future with you care about how they spend their finances, what their career goals are, I was concerned with what kind of dad Jim would be and how his tattoos would look when we were 50. I never thought about that with Chad because I didn't want to care that much. I didn't want to get too upset or be too dramatic when it was a short relationship.

I had about an hour conversation with myself about this, pretty much just to plan out this blog, but by the end of it I guess i came to the conclusion that i was in love with jim. and nobody else. Maybe it was because with him it was perfect timing, maybe because since then I don't want to be in some huge relationship until i'm ready to meet my husband, maybe because I now prefer drama free, funny relationships that are all about having a good time. I'm not sure, but it made me feel a little better to be able to answer that question to myself. I have been in love. There is a difference. It's not so much better or worse than being single, it's just something to have experienced. It's been 3 years since we broke up. We're completely different people now, and I barely think about it anymore. It was a separate lifestyle I had and it was great, but what i'm doing now is great too.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Life Goals

I had made a somewhat small list of things I want to do in my life a few months ago. It included

Go to New Orleans for Mardi Gras
Go to Disneyland/world (and be able to remember it)
Attend an NFL football game (hoping it's the Ravens or the Stiller)
Backpack around Europe for a summer
Audition for Yale's graduate program (get in...go for free....)
See the Rockette's Christmas Show in NYC
Travel to Mexico, even if just for a drunken night

Within the time of making the list,
I went to Mardi Gras. It was dirty and hilarious and totally worht it.
I'm going to go to the Ravens/Chargers game in a month in San Diego and i'm totally excited to sit with all the young cheesy fans!! I feel bad cheering for the Ravens beacause i don't really hate the Chargers. I wish they were playing the Patriots or something. And at the same time, we're going to Disneyland that weekend! By we, i mean paul and i. he's been before so i guess he knows the fun spots to go to.
As far as Europe goes, I have 8 more months to save $5000. I can absolutely do it, and when i have-it means i'm buying plane tickets to go to Belgium with my sister in August for 1 or 2 weeks. She's planning everything ( as she should because i don't know anything about it), and no it's not backpacking-but it'll still be awesome!
I'm studying for the GREs, and providing i pass the test, i'll be applying to Yale and flying there if i'm granted an audition in January!
I'm flying in NYC this christmas so i can hang out at rockafella center, and of course see the Rockettes!!
And lastly, no i have no plans to go to Mexico. Unfortunately. It's a bit scary of an idea for me, but really-i just want to have a drunken adventure there!

Now i've added to the list:

Go to Boston for St. Patty's Day
Go to Germany for Oktoberfest
Spend a couple days in Vancouver
See GWAR in concert

And I will do it all!!!

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Drunken Strip Adventure

I remember one evening Melinda and I decided to go up and down the strip and stop for a cheap drink wherever possible. So, months later, Paul and i decided to do it again. Except it's been so long since I've gotten drunk, I could do a 1/4 of the strip before I could barely walk and wanted to pass out.
We started at Coyote Ugly. I have no idea why because I hate that place probably more than any other. But they have a pretty good happy hour-2 for 1's. We got some vodka crans and went on our way.

We went down the east side and hit up the "Glacier Bar" whatever the hell that was. Turns out it was just Gameworx, and it also turns out that Gameworx is awesome! I didn't want to blow money on games and not save it for drinks, but they had hella race car games!

I was already pretty damn buzzed, but Pwal got a jack and coke and i had the bartender make some fun drink-so he decides on a pineapple upside down cake. It was quite delish!

I was getting sick of liquor, and i was getting hungry. So i stopped to get some doritos and the budweiser clamato beer. the can was 4 dollars of course...but it was like a mini meal in a can!

We walked through the Hawaiin Marketplace, saw some beeds, peed, etc. And this really great slut clothing store had a very appropriate name

We went to the new Planet Hollywood, did a bit of shopping, and ended up at Sin City Breweing Company.

The hefe was actually reaaaally good!

Then i got tired and passed out

Once Paul finished my lowrider, we'll probably have to make this a weekly event!

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Going Raw

I was working my new job last night (that's right, update: quit urban, now working for miss sixty and scored some pretty cool jeans), and besides one of my coworkers being a vegan, the other is going on a raw-diet-detox.
Morgan mentioned something about detoxing for a week and just drinking a mixture of water/maple syrup/cayenne pepper. I was at a county fair and saw this special thing you put your feet in so all the toxins of your body flow out through your feet. Obvs, none of these seemed too appealing. But just eating raw fruits and veggies for a week seemed somewhat doable for me.
There's lots of books on it, explaing the health, skin, weight loss, and general happiness positives of the diet. Turns out people actually live like this for the rest of their life so it's not too hard to find some pretty good recipes

Apparently cooking food over 117 degrees gets rid of most health benefits, so it's better to prepare them with a dehydrator. There are toxins left in your body from things like alcohol, microwaved food, etc. so i'm interested to see if i poop out a gross amount and if i really do feel better after the detox.
I need a little support so I've asked my boyfriend to try it with me for a week. Of course i have to wait for a week where i'm not working 70 hours or have a party to attend so i can really detox.
Wish me luck!

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

ahhh....the ex. err, um, current

There was a time in my life when Hilary and i didn't talk as much. It was before she moved away so i was really annoyed at everything she did. Well, one summer she came back from a vacation in Europe and I probably didn't care much about her stories, but i couldn't help but hear all about a certain guy she met while on her trip. As we grew older, and as i started to care a little more about her stories, i kept hearing about this guy. They'd visit each other a lot, they're talk on the phone, they were pen pals. He was always 'the guy' that for almost 10 years now has never slipped her mind. I was wondering if i'd ever encounter my own Greg, but i'm glad i never have. I don't want to wait around to see if he'll ever write back, call me, or wonder if he actually gives a shit about what i'm doing these days, knowing that i am always thinking about what he's up to. Enough of the sob story history...

Hilary decided to finally write him a letter asking how things were going (oh, the advantage of myspace). Let's preface this by saying his girlfriend has added Hilary on myspace and leaves her comments. Why a current girlfriend would ever be ok with a longtime friend/lover/whatever you call it, is beyond me. Especially when they will never meet.'s the sweet letter he (or she?) writes back to my sister:


Things are going very well. My girlfriend, Reham, and I have been in Wisconsin attending school for a little over a year now. We've been together for almost four years, and met at a friend's wedding. Reham will be beginning her clinicals soon, and I've been really focused on school and developing a strong portfolio, which hasn't left us too much free time. However, we try to travel here-and-there as often as we can, enjoying and discovering the outdoors as well as our new surroundings. Hope things are well for you, we wish you success,

Greg "His Last Name"

As much fun as I had dissecting the incredibly romantic letter Jim sent me, I'm enjoying this as well. First of all, why is he saying anything about his girlfriend when she asked nothing about her? If she would like to know about her life, I'm sure Hilary would have writtern HER a letter. Second of all, WE wish you success? I'm confused to who is actually writing the letter here. Is this girl really that excited for my sister's life and career? Either she's the most caring, selfless, un-jealous, perfect girl ever....or it's just creepy. I'm going with the latter. 3rd, a full name signage? Ray called me out and signing "ashley" after an email. He said it was really AWEKWARD and way too proper. It's not like Hilary forgot his last name or that he's writing some business letter. 4th, the whole thing just made me yell WTF and it's not even my guy.
So...based on this letter alone, I'm still glad i don't have my own greg