Ridin' a hog
So after i got stood up on Saturday, i decided to take a trip to ...
Then i drowned my sorrows with 2 kegs of keystone light and some good people.
And after all that goodness, i got a ride home on a Harley!
My life...is apparenlty good enough for you to be reading about.
So after i got stood up on Saturday, i decided to take a trip to ...
I got to talk to one of my favorite ladies, amy bones, last night. She gets to work at this great playhouse with Paul Newman and was telling me funny stories of celebrities. Like how she might meet Samuel L. Jackson this weekend. But by far, the best was Ralph Lauren. He walked into the galla, straight past her who was supposed to tell him his seating assignment. But the worst part was that he was wearing slippers-"R.L." slippers. haha-that's L.A.M.E.
She also informed me of the possible closing with CBGB's. Though i've never been, cause even when living in new york i rarely found a show there i'd want to go to, it is an important historical landmark to the concert venue society. And, there's gonna be amaaaaaazing shows there to benefit the club this whole month. Guess i'll be spending some time in new york!
My favorite call of the day thus far...
"Hi, I talked to someone before. I don't know who it was, but can you put me through to them?"
Should Kate Moss really be jealous? We're talking about Jordache here-JORDACHE!
Hilary: Let's split that PBR!
Ashley: Oh, you rebel, one beer!
Hilary: Well it's a tall boy!
Ashley: How about we go to the bar instead to see that hot ass bartender?
...at the bar...
Ashley: Shit, i guess he's working in the kitchen tonight!
Hilary: That's alright, at least we got to stare at him while he walked by
Ashley: Let's go pig out on ice cream
Today one of my co-workers had a mini water gun and was squirting it a few individuals. Well, when she left the room another woman picked it up. She was shooting it off to see if it still had some water inside, but accidentally shot her friend in the face. She then said she preceeded to laugh so hard she was farting, uncontrollably and couldn't stop. Haha
New buddyhead gossip up! Some of my favorite highlights:
If you are Avril Lavigne and that geeky singer from Sum 41 that nobody knows the name of, listen close geeks... you both represent everything that is wrong with popular music today. Both of you tards have lowered the standards for what was even considered shitty music before you existed.
Same goes for that douche drinker who sings for that boy band that waves the “punk rock” flag to sell their records, Good Charlotte, and his Mouseketeer-robot-girlfriend, Hillary Duff. They’re all over the tabloids right now kissing like two preteens in heat. Homeboy just better hope the pigs don’t nail him for sticking it to her because she’s a minor.
"Live 8" turned into "Live Hate" after about the 47th shitty band. Did anybody see Jay Z up there with Linkin Park? Jay Z always likes to talk about his "people" in his "music". Hey Jay Z, if you wanna walk the talk now on the poverty situation in Africa, how about instead of cramming down our throats all the bullshit about you owning 576 cars, wearing 2 million dollar watches, drinking cristal every night, and all the yachts you chill on… How about you give just a smidge of your money (that might as well have been lit on fire) to your "people" in Africa?
I put some indie rocker's ball clips on my myspace. Next i'm going to figure out how to put up Ratface's Christmas Special!
So i consider myself a pretty open-minded individual. I accept people based on anything, sure i may make fun of you for some things, but unless you personally affect me, i like you. The exception to this has always been junkies or potheads. I was that girlfriend that said, if you ever smoke pot, i'll break up with you. I was the friend that really never wanted to hang out w/ somebody again if they tried that shit. But when people asked me why i felt like this, the only excuse i really came up with was because i think drugs are stupid, that's all. I don't think i really owe anyone an explanation on my opinions, but for my own sake i thought i must find a deeper reasoning than this, or learn to accept people for who they are and what they want to do. Well, i learned well from Straight Edge Bethany that people do what they want to make themselves happy, and I can take them or leave them. If she could go a whole year watching me drunk off my ass, i figure i could try and change myself to like my friends even when they do cocaine, and perhaps, even start dating a pothead. Well i have changed, and i do accept it more than i did before. But now that i've opened my eyes to this and feel more comfortable talking about the subject, i'm trying to understand why it is that people do drugs, still smoke pot into their mid to late 20s, and why i don't even think about doing such a thing.
So "druggies" (just because i think that word is funny i will use it) tell me there's no difference in pot and alcohol (in fact, 'alcohol is worse'), everyone should try something once because you only live once, and doing drugs can be a great idea because you get to see how you react differently. I may now accept these people, but i think that's all bullshit. I was under the impression my friend was done with getting sick and staying up days at a time from hard drugs so left them alone now, he informed me he did some the other night and i cringed. Though i'll take him and not leave him, i had to ask, aren't you afraid that it will kill you? And he replies that he wouldn't care, he's going to die sometime. And i ask, but when you see your junkie friends die from an overdose, does that not affect you enough to stop? Are you telling me they wouldn't take back that one night so they could live for awhile longer? Wouldn't you regret dying from one night of mind-altering drugness instead of living? He simply said no.
So this is where i came to the reasoning for why i don't and won't do drugs. No, i'm not scared of dying, and yes, i love to try new experiences. But the best feeling in the world to me is being around my friends and laughing, or getting excited when a new boy i like is coming over. I can't fathom there's any drug that can replace the happiness and love that i feel for life. Life to me is all about relationships with other people, how i relate to them, and how it makes me happy. So i can't be that person who whould be ok with causing my own death and never having one last BCM get together, one more round of FG with Hilary, one more Hot Rod Circuit show. I may not understand these people, but i'm still trying my hardest.
For all yinz musicians:
Maybe i should dye my hair back to blonde because last night i actually said this.
robert: he directed twin peaks
me: oh, that thing with dolly parton?
Last night we went to this house show (which are good alone because you cram everyone into a house for musical fun). We watched this i-don't-know-how-else-to-describe-them-but "spazz core" with synths, saxes, and crazy dancing group from san francisco. It's good to see something fun and different every now and then. I'll spare the details because politically infused micheal and journalistically gifted robert already described it better.
I'm off to Pittsburgh to party with 4/8 of the Beef Curtain Mafia ladies, and drinking/partying/craziness shall surely ensue. Besides, now I have a lightning bolt and steps!
Seriously, is it necessary to take the elevator up to the next floor? Unless you're in a wheelchair-the stairs are right there buddy!
In two days, i get to attend this amazing mall. Thanks to my luck, it says there's a NASCAR amusment park inside, complete with memorabilia! Since i'm also a cheap bastard, my 3 favorite inexpensive/ghetto stores rue 21, charlotte russe, and forever 21 are also housed here. YES!!
Though i think live journal is a lame excuse to talk about your day and hope someone as bored as you reads it, at least they have an awesome community that gives advice like this
...annoy the shit out of me.
Especially this one:
I SWEAR TO GOD I BETTER NOT CATCH ANYONE BREAKING THIS RIBBON. This is a (yellow) ribbon for MARINES and SOLDIERS fighting in iraq. pass it on to everyone . something good will happen to u tonight at 11:11 pm. this is not a joke someone will either call u or write to u online say i love u do not break this chain repost within 5 mins
GOD BLESS AMERICA
WE ARE PRAYING FOR YOU ALL
1) Why are we calling this letter a RIBBON??
2) Of course something good would happen to me at 11:11, i own and everything about me is good.
3) Ribbons are for cancer. I support troops as much as the next guy, but why did they steal the cancer symbol? L-A-M-E
"You look like you should go to a party!" "You look like a 40's movie star." Oh i do love dressing up.
My coworker and i were talking about the idea of lazer eye surgery. Seriously, after about 4 more years of contacts and another pair of glasses, and it'd be the same amount of money. I'd save in the long run...but then I wouldn't get to wear glasses when they match my outfit better! Isn't it great that major decisions in my life are decided upon by fashion?
I was reading this book my sister gave me, The Idiot Girl's Action-Adventure Club, and it just happens to descibe my position in the bathroom (though she hates these people)
Perhaps to avoid using a time-consuming potty protector, perhaps to mark her territory, this offender won't let her bottom touch the seat, although it's perfectly OK if her byproducts do. Now, the target area of a bowl is rather generous, so the reasons for a misfire are rather mysterious to me, unless the participant is completely standing up and aiming from a corner. Hovering is never, NEVER acceptable behavior unless you just dug a hole in the forest. Remember this the next time you're tempted to resist a complete landing: "Don't Leave Your Mark, Just Sit Down and Park."
It's true, the target is a generous area, but I quite often miss-#s 1 and 2! (bet you guys wanted to hear that)
ah, the glory of vice magazine's do's and don'ts. viewing the pictures with these and checking out more of the same is a must. www.viceland.com
You know a guy is a DO when he makes you hate everyone else on earth for not being equally amazing. Oh, you bought someone a beer? Congratulations! This guy took a severely handicapped gimp to the skate park and had him doing 360 Benihanas so far over the hip his fucking pillows flew off.
OK, so it started off that wiggers wanted to have big shirts because it emulated the rappers that needed to carry guns. Then they took on big huge skate shoes (the thickness helps ollies) and surf shorts (the length helps prevent thigh burn) and trucker hats (the netting helps it breathe). Unfortunately, nobody stopped to notice that all these practical ideas, when mixed together, make you look somewhere between an anorexic toddler and Chucky with a peanut head.
What's more fun than making men clothes? Having friends come over and try the bastards on! Robert and Micheal are such good models in such ill-fitting garments.
I finished my audition tape for the reality show. I realized if they don't pick me, well, the show will suck! Haha, just kidding...but if they don't, i will be sad and excited to see who will actually be on the show.
I've got 12 crabs to eat by bedtime tonight and I'm the only one here. This is a problem...or is it?
Now that i work with women in an office i get to hear the phrase "I should set you up with my son." Well, ladies, bring in pictures!
So i applied for this reality show. That's right-picture it-good old Ratface entertaining the masses. As if i haven't done this enough through television, radio, and movies-now i need to venture on to more than an audience of 20 people. If a contestant, i'd be competing to run my own record label.
The woman told me i was to make a video, encapturing all the reasons i own so much in under 30 minutes. Needless to say, i'll be putting Ratface's X-Mas special and Indie Rocker Ball clips into this bit of glory. But i'm also supposed to provide a list of unsigned bands that i would get the minute i had my own label. This is a huge problem! Ya, i go to a lot of shows and see unsigned bands. But they're also 16, sound like My Chemical Romance, and don't move from the spot they started. Do i name a load of bands that i consider alright who are on indepedent labels? I'm not sure my charm alone will be enough to win a spot on this show...
I had to sell my brothers and cousins today, as i now ok the purchase of rats, mice and sheep. Though saddened, i am happy to join an office that talks of nail polish, food, and Baltimore accents. It's like "haome."
It's also real nice to walk around the Johns Hopkins campus. Very pretty surroundings, and I hear there's more goodness to look at downstairs. The construction men are hard at work!
Check out robert's page. I guess we're official scenesters because we're on the Sonar webpage. But i hear to be a real scenester in Baltimore i must be into the cocaine. Good thing i've stocked up!
So i'm behind this real gem the other day driving one of my favorite "unnecessarily large trucks" sporting a sticker that said "I support troops overseas." What the hell, because I don't have one of those stickers I don't support them? It annoyed me almost as much as the ribbons, and if i see another, i'll have to remove it:
Following in the footsteps of Robert and Hilary, I thought there's nothing better to do while working for Hopkins than to post numerous messages throughout the day. Alas, a "blog" (though i hate that word.) Fortunately, i started working so my day has consister of:
Alphabetizing names in which I saw the last name Deo. Because i'm such an asshole, i started singing that rediculous song deeeeo dee-e-e-ooo. Than i came across 'Hao' and pictured myself and friends yelling 'haaaaaaaaaaaooooooooo' annoyingly at ever party we attend.
Luckily, during this process, i was able to listen to the radio and hear a little G&R.
But during my lunch i made the mistake of eating a "lean cuisine"- you know, those kind they advertise while doing yoga and talking about how mouth-wateringly delicious a few crappy pieces of pork with canned sauce is. Sorry Hilary, but i found it to be quite gross, and very reminiscent of a school cafeteria Salisbury Steak.
Well tomorrow i embark on a new job where i will most likely fill my day by searching myspace profiles and reading Snippets from Science and the Reluctant Receptionist.