My apparenlty good enough for you to be reading about.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005


Ray found the perfect job for me on Craig's List:

"DC area band seeks an attractive 21-30 year old female to dance to funky music in a bikini at our shows in local bars and music venues. Pay will be negotiated. Serious inquiries only. Please send pictures."

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Scenester, Part III

Quite possibly the worst picture of janice and i. But apparenlty another picture was good enough to put on Sonar's flyer. Am i the only one finding this extremely amusing? Apparently Robert and Hilary are pissed they aren't getting their pictures taken. Well maybe if yinz would go out, you would!

Friday, August 26, 2005

"The Kid"

Robert, i knew you picked the right book for me.

Dan and Terry got a call to adopt a baby from "a girl who's homeless. Not by chance, but by choice. She's a gutterpunk."

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Even though Hilary loves them

A new Vice is out

"Take pugs, for example. We have bred their faces to be so flat they can’t even close their mouths properly. Breeding flat faces also means oversize tongues, tiny nostrils, and a tiny trachea. Your dog cannot fucking breathe, you asshole! It usually gets so bad with these little freaks that vets have to operate on them just so they can get some fucking air in there.

Bulldogs are even worse off. We’ve bred their heads so fucking big their mothers can’t push them out. Nobody ever thought of this but you can’t make a dog’s head bigger without proportionately increasing the size of the birth canal. Now we have to give bulldogs C-sections if we don’t want them to explode puppies out of their stomachs like in Alien. "

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Warning: This Record Causes Ear Cancer

Who says I can't be a gutterpunk at age 22?

The article Rekindling the punk flame shows that "a spate of upcoming documentaries shows that a movement some had declared dead may be newly relevant for today's youth...If punk is dead, as has been said, it appears to be kicking and digging its way out of the grave."

Why? "The Adolescents are celebrating 25 years of punk," he says. Next year will be the 25th anniversary of Penelope Spheeris' "The Decline of Western Civilization," a pioneering documentary on the early L.A. punk scene featuring an emblematic poster image of Crash. This year is also the 25th anniversary of Crash's death"

I do'nt know if that's the only reason why. Maybe it has to do with commercialization of the Ramones, selling Sex Pistol shirts at K-Mart, or CBGB's million-dollar TShirt industry. Punk's Not Dead attempts to explain the connection of early punk rock to today's scene.
"[It] takes you into the sweaty underground clubs, backyard parties...the Ramones and the Sex Pistols [are] drawing bigger crowds than ever, "pop-punk" bands have found success on MTV, and kids too young to drive are forming bands...Meanwhile, "punk" has become a marketing concept to sell everything from cars to vodka, and dyed hair and piercings mark a rite of passage for thousands of suburban kids. Can the true, nonconformist punk spirit still exist in today's corporatized culture?...Punk's Not Dead dares to juxtapose pop punk's music and lifestyle against the roots in the 70s and 80s."
I can't wait to watch Alk3, The Ataris, and Jello Biafra compare themselves to each other. Maybe we'll get a treat from Henry Rollins to "define punk rock." At least it looks like some pretty sweet bands will be reviewed. But I'm confused as to why there are very few "hot topic/pop punk/corporatized" groups? The Subhumans may offer a good opinion, but I hope it is rebutted by a good many comments from the young pop punk mallrats; isn't that what they are comparing to the 70s/80s scene anyway?

Monday, August 22, 2005

Ashley's 5 (or 6) Step Program

The way i figure a breakup goes.

1) You realize something's wrong so you try every exhausting possibility you can think of to fix it
2) You can't fix it, so you hate the person for awhile
3) You're 90% accepting that things are over, but you still want answers to why it didn't work. You know it's never going to work-that should be good enough, but it's not (the other 10% is left hoping things will still work out)
4) You stop thinking about the breakup/person 24-7 and eventually you will move onto someone else
5) If the person was important enough, you'll probably compare everything and everyone to that person until (maybe) you meet the actual person you're meant to be with

but you just might go through
6) You moved on too soon and didn't give the breakup it's full grievance. So in due time, it will sneak back up on you in which case you'll have to go through all this again

Club Life

I'm a bar girl. Or maybe a "Hilary, they have free ladie's night at a trashy club here" girl. Either way, i had the pleasure of helping my friend celebrate her 21st birthday at some of Baltimore's "Hot Spot." Since my friends normally wouldn't set foot in these joints, I'll provide you with a brief review.
We entered Power Plant and found ourselves inside "Howl at the Moon." I dug the piano show going on, but I didn't really dig the late 20s/early 30s crowd. People outside, though were loud and having fun-personally what i like to see when i go for a night out on the town.
Then we decided "we need to dance!" so entered Baja Beach Club. I felt a freshman-year-frat-party flashback when the ladies got in free while all the guys we were got stuck with a $5 cover. At least when i walked in women weren't the only ones scantily clad. A huge body builder-type fella was walking around in teeny briefs. I was also introduced to a 'banana shot' (thankfully not personally). My newly aged friend licked whipped cream off of body builder fella's stomach and then ate a banana right out of his crotch. And the proudest moment of the night goes to the 4 ladies who entered the contest of "who can take your shirt off the fastest and put on a new shirt in front of the crowd while wearing a bra". Dave's right-i'm obviously just pissed i didn't get to participate because i wasn't wearing a bra that night.

Friday, August 19, 2005

poop diddy

In honor of "Chrone's Day a la R.M."

The Scoop on Poop

The poop report

A restaurant with good dedication

Thursday, August 18, 2005


So this is what they're thinking...

I also found hilaroius do's and don'ts on the page and enjoyed the following:
Out: Atkins nonsense
In: Actually exercising to lose weight
Footnote: Spit out your porterhouse, you fat lazy slob. There ain'ts no gains if there ain't no pain. Truer words have never been spoken

Out: iPods
In: Humming
Footnote: iPods are dope, but so passé. The hippest cats are back to humming.

Out: Above-ground Pools
In: In-ground Pools
Footnote: Unless you're white trash of course and then above-grounders are perfectly acceptable. Oooh, that'll piss some people off.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

'Cause i wanna be Anarchy

I was trying to educate myself on a topic i'm quite ignorant of, anarchism. But after all the readings i have come across, none make an argument that is understandable, non-hypocritical, and non-class biased. tried to explain anarchy to me, but i came up with the following problems:
"It allows working class and other oppressed people to become conscious of our power as a class, defend our immediate interests, and fight to revolutionise society as a whole. Only by doing this can we create a society fit for human beings to live in. "
-Why would the working class be concerned with power? Anarchy is to get rid of our want for power because it leads to heirarchy.

"Remaining disputes would be solved by reasonable methods, for example, the use of juries, mutual third parties, or community and workplace assemblies"
-Don't we use juries and mutual third parties to resolve conflicts in our capitalist society?

"Although many anarchists reject violence and proclaim pacifism, the anti-militarist, being against the organised violence of the state but recognising that there are important differences between the violence of the oppressor and the violence of the oppressed...As Malatesta put it...violence is "justifiable only when it is necessary to defend oneself and others from violence" and that a "slave is always in a state of legitimate defence and consequently, his violence against the boss, against the oppressor, is always morally justifiable."
-So you oppose capitalistic war because it is mostly provoked by power and the economy? Allowing violence from the opressed to the opresser is based on lack of power and is done to eventually succeed at having a more equal economic state. The reasons are the same-just at different levels. Why is one level better than the other in an anarchist's eyes?

Glory be!

As if stuff on my cat, the cat dance, and video weren't enough:

I hate what I've become

Man do i hate the kids that dislike bands once they get big. But there is a good point, how am i supposed to enjoy one of my favorite bands in a not-even-close-to-intimate setting?

I'll tell you why I can't enjoy myself at hardcore shows anymore:

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Seriously, start watching the band kids.
More glorious hardcore show bashing can me found on the myspace CAHD website.

Monday, August 15, 2005

Don't hate me because i'm beautiful

One of my favorite classes in college was "Men and Masculinities." Sure, i decided to take it because it was the only class left and i thought, hey maybe there will be some cuties! Well, it was more gay men than not and it actually turned out to be really entertaining. We had lengthy discussions of the male species, and even discussed the role of females in society.
As women, yes we can vote, yes we're doing more in the work force-but our role in society has not changed. A girl is to constantly look her best so that she can hook the best man she possibly can. Because, afterall, the man is the one who will be providing us with funding and protection during our marraige. I always thought, why are pretty girls with ugly guys? Why is there an Average Joe but no Average Jane? A woman's goal is to compete in order to find the man she wants-so why shouldn't these men settle with the prettiest they can find without having to clean up much themselves?
This is why so many girls hate each other, this is where all the cattyness comes from-we're in constant competition in order to one up each other, to look prettier, to land the man!
This entire thought process stems from the amount of times I've been called "whore" or "slut" (which was not only two times in one saturday, but throughout the past few years quite a bit as well). There's two types of girls in society: the "good" girl, who is sweet, passive, obeys her man, and doesn't know too much about sex so she won't be doing any cheating. Then there's the "bad" girl, the whore who knows too much about sex and loves it. No man wants to end up with the "bad" girl, because he's ultimately supposed to be the ruler over his woman.

Well you are who you, whether that may whorey, naive, or somewhere in between. But what is so wrong about being any of them? Because I like making out with boys, because I'm not constantly in a monotonous relationship-I am labeled a whore. Well i say: SO WHAT! To all those girls that think it's offending me: it's not. Start doing yourself a favor and stop putting women in a place where we're condemned for ever thinking or acting the way a man does. If we want sex, let us have sex! Don't feed into this box we are supposed to conform to which is favorable mainly to the male species.
And for all the assholes that are punk rock and think they're out to change society's views and the world - i've heard it more from you than anyone else. Expand your mind more than your tattoo and record collection.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

"that's so condescending"

No matter how shitty i've felt or how crappy a night can be, if i'm with Adam, the time is nothing but good!

We saw this guy that looked like the caveman from the geico commercial. Then some mang decided to step into the picture and touch my boob at the last minute (notice my ew, what the fuck? face)

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Thursday, August 11, 2005

So this is why i'm single?

Don't get me wrong, if someone were to offer me a louis vuitton purse, i wouldn't throw it away. And i enjoy shopping for clothes, even though i could live without them. But i am generally annoyed at the consumerism of people. Advertising is made to pick apart all the things people hate about themselves and insist that with a certain product, happiness will be achieved. Therefore, i'm more than a little annoyed at this article, courtesy of, who insists i need these items as a single woman.

10 things every single girl must own
By Amy Spencer

Sure, you've got the perfect shade of lipstick and the little black dress... but is that all you need? Hardly.

1. A fabulous photo of yourself
"We all have that photo: The one where your smile, hair, and (let's be honest) bod all come together in one sexy little package"
Uh, wouldn't a person be seeing what you look like in person when they're on the date with you?

2. A pretty pair of heels
"Admit it. You feel like Maria from West Side Story (You feel pretty, oh so pretty…) when you slip on a pair of nice heels. (Added bonus: The taller you are, the more cute men you'll be able to see around the room.)"
Yes, that's what i want-my brother to be killed by my boyfriend.

3. An Eminem CD
"What's one of the first places a guy peruses when he walks into a woman's home? Her music collection. Balance out your collection with one CD, any CD, by Eminem and you have no idea how relieved he'll be."
Why would i even date a man that approves of Eminem???

4. A great pickup line... and a way to blow 'em off
"In this post-chivalrous period, we can't always depend on guys to initiate contact, so prepare thyself with one simple, non-cheesy icebreaker to lay on that cutie who's making his way to your area of the bar."
10 things a girl can't go without-it's a wonder how "being able to speak" is one of them!

5. A six-pack of good bottled beer
"A prepared single girl is ready to host and toast at any time."
Host yourself to a good six-pack. This should be in the refridgerator anyway

6. Bathroom reading
"What man doesn't appreciate finding interesting reading in his sweetie's bathroom?"
Assuming i'm single, this man isn't my boyfriend. Therefore, i would hope he wouldn't already be taking a massive shit in my toilet. Also note the author says..."No need to go overboard with a stack of Sports Illustrated (if you don't follow sports, that would just be weird)" Guess i'm weird...

7. A business card
"After the age of 18, it's no longer cute to scrawl your first name and phone number on a napkin and hand it to a man who wants to call you."
It's not? Maybe that's why i have a cell phone to store things in...

8. Earplugs
"Unless — SNZZGGHGHRRJJZZZ! — he snores so loudly you can't get any sleep. Prepare thyself for surprise snorers with a pair of earplugs stashed in your nightstand."

9. A straight male friend on your speed-dial
"Every girl knows she needs a gay male friend she can go to for fashion advice (a personal Queer Eye for Your Closet)."
...because i can't figure it out myself?
"[But] while your female friends may have good intentions, if you really want to know if you should call that guy, save the guesswork and go to someone who's been there, done that."
Or do what you want, things will work if they're meant to. Otherwise, get over the drama!

10. A condom
"Hey ladies, you know the drill by now. If you want to be able to have spontaneous fun of the bodily kind, you have to prepare for it yourself."
Alright, the only useful information.

Don't worry, fellas, they have some great advice for you too

10 things every single man must own
By Matt Schneiderman

Want to impress the ladies with your great taste in home décor and more? Skip the leather couch and silk boxers and buy these bachelor essentials.

1. A top-notch coffee/espresso maker
"Any girl who’s at your place for dinner (or lounging in your bed come morning) deserves a classier send-off than “see ya,”"
It's true, i'll never go on a second date with you if you don't make me awesome coffee the next morning.

2. A lamp in your bedroom
"Now, all of you, go out and buy a bedside lamp with a fabric shade. not lost on women, who not only see it as a sign of your civility...she’ll also feel much more comfortable under its softer, more forgiving glow."
Are you saying my body is so bad it needs forgiven? If you can't do me under the lights-don't do me at all!

3. Swiffer Sweeper + Swiffer Cloths + Swiffer Wet Cloths
"For her, walking across your floor barefoot should not be an exercise in muck tolerance."
Clean, it's that simple

4. A comfortable couch
"Repeat after me: You do not need a black leather couch. Skip the cliché and pick out a plush upholstered sofa"
A big couch means a big...

5. Nice underwear
"The following selections will make her recoil: Tighty whities; underwear featuring cartoon characters, or anything that resembles what a woman would wear...Splurge on at least two weeks' worth and throw out the others, lest you’re tempted to don a ratty pair and put off doing laundry—you never know when opportunity will strike."
Again, be clean, it's that simple

6. A key-ring that can fix, cut, and open anything
"Sure, your power-tool collection is outstanding—but it'll do you no good sitting in your closet when your date's sunglasses come apart at the restaurant...You’ll be amazed how indispensable it (and you, by extension) will become to her."
I'll think you're smarter if you can McGuyver that shit from tape and rope.

7. $150+ jeans
"Why cough up that much dough when you can find a seemingly-fine pair for much less? Because designer denim does make a difference—and you can wear them everywhere from a dive bar to a five-star restaurant"
How about you save the money and take me out to dinner?

8. $200+ dress shoes
"Accept it: Girls are into footwear, and your feet will be one of the first things she looks at."
Good shoes don't have to cost $200. The end.

9. 300-thread-count cotton sheets
"Let’s face it: You (and hopefully your date) will be spending a lot of quality time here. So skip the scratchy polyester blends and splurge on some 100-percent Egyptian cotton sheets with a thread count of 300...anything that might keep her in bed longer is worth the expense, right?"
Riiiight...Where are these men that spend 150 on jeans, 200 on shoes, and 125 on sheets? At some yuppy bar finding dates who are only interested in material things.

10. The Joy of Cooking
"Few things are sexier than a guy who can cook"
Few things are sexier than justin theroux, cooking, naked. In fact, nothing's sexier. So don't try...

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Since i'm a literary failure...

...luckily Crass knows what i mean:

Punk used to be a massive cry against inequality and injustice, but then it became incorporated into the mainstream. I detest people who allow that incorporation to happen. It makes me angry. Time and time and time again you hear youth expressing its voice. Time and time and time again you see that voice destroyed by drugs, self-indulgence, stupidity and sell-outs. It's sad.

But for all that, you have to go on believing in possibilities, believing that people want something better in life, looking for something outside of ugliness, vulgarity, cruelty and exploitation; something that has a meaning, that's got connection. But every time there seems to be a possibility of that happening, it gets knocked down.

We offered information, and I do believe that a lot of that information was real and correct. When I say correct I mean actually presenting something of value which people could take hold of and say "Yeah, maybe I could make something of my life". The thing we wanted to help people understand was a sense of autonomy and authenticity of the individual human soul. Just as soul is constantly demeaned in the media, so it is undermined by drugs, inside or outside, but in the end it's the only thing we've truly got. As personalities we're just a series of remarks picked up on our journey through life, and, sadly, this becomes what we think we are. But beneath all that we've got something we were born with, something we die with, something which exists beyond time, and that's our deepest inner soul. I guess I'm talking about a kind of immortality. To me the purpose of life is to connect with that inner soul, because by doing so we actually become part of life's continuum. If we exist as separate entities, as individual personalities, there's no reality to life and no continuity beyond it.

There's a connectedness between everybody and we all breathe, we all eat, we all sleep and we all have an inner soul which enables us to do that. It's all so obvious and natural.

We all exist in a day-to-day reality of lies and deceit, and nobody will ever make any sense of it. That's why we need to allow for tenderness, for silence, for contemplation. We need to find our own soul within all this mess. We've let ourselves become commodities, pawns in the marketplace. The only way we can get out of that is to realise that our personality, the very thing we think we are, is no more than a costume of ideas. We all like to think we're someone special, so we mouth the right words, dress up in the right gear, but it's all projection, all so fucking irrelevant.

But for all that, I believe people want to connect. Deep down they're tired of being no more than an idea of themselves. That's why people look for more, that's why they have sex, why they smoke dope, why they go on binges. They probably won't find the answer that way, but all the same, they want to connect. People want to know that they're alive, but let's face it, in a consumer society, that's no easy job.

Baltimorons, read up...

You know you're from baltimore if...

Your car, no matter what year it is has only three hubcaps. You a girl under 18 that has at least two chilren. Anywhere you go in the city you can see the two Television Towers. People give you a ten digit telephone number. You know how to get anywhere on the MTA. You can go 1 inch across the city line and know that you're out of the city. You've ever gotten 6 peices of chicken for $1.99 that fit on one slice of bread. Cops constantly pull your car over if you have an orange Maryland Tag. You've know where every Red Light Camera is. You've been to a church that is a reconditioned rowhouse You ignore every No Turn On Red Sign You've wondered where the Freeway between Franklin and Mulberry Street was supposed to go to. You've been to the store to buy a 40, a pack of cigarettes, a roll of toilet paper and nothing else. When the traffic light turns yellow you look over to the right for a red light camera. You've made it through downtown in 5 minutes. You still have SuperBowl 35 Flags on your car. Raven 34 Giants 7. You have a car sound system but no car. A trip to Washington DC includes a $13.00 Marc train Ticket. You could be 20 feet away from somebody and they will walk in front of your moving car to cross the street. The further away from the city you work, the better the pay is. It is Bawl-mer or Ball-tee-more - not "Baltimore", depending on if you live north or south of Rt. 40. You don't wash your clothes, you "warsh" them. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere, Baltimore has its own version of traffic rules.... "Hold on & pray." There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Baltimore ... we all drive like that. All directions start with... "The Beltway...."....which has no beginning and no end. The morning rush hour is from 6am to 11am, the evening rush hour is from 1pm to 7pm... Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning. If you actually stop at a yellow light you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot. All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase "Oh, we're in GLIMBURNIE!" If someone actually has their turn signal on it is probably a factory defect. Car horns are actually "Road Rage" indicators. All old ladies with blue hair and Buicks have the right of way. PERIOD The minimum acceptable speed on the Beltway is 85mph, anything less is considered downright sissy. If the humidity is 98+ and the temperature is 98+ it's May/June/July/August/September. If it is 10 degrees, it is Orioles Opening Day. If it is 110 degrees, it is opening day at Ravens Stadium. If you go to a football game, pay the $75.00 to park in the "Ravens Lot." Parking elsewhere could cost up to $7500.00 for damages, towing fees, parking tickets, etc. If some guy with a flag tries to get you to park in his yard during Preakness ... run over him! It's probably not his yard anyway. HFStival is not only a yearly tradition but it is one of the biggest parties of the year You understand that Old Bay is essential to have a good meal Your entire high school senior class went to Ocean City for a senior week and it was the best week of your life You can pronouce Havre de Grace You understand that the Terps and the Ravens kick major ass You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Baltimore.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

i'm so scene...

i'm in the city paper online

reason 3,193,205 why cats are good

i was laughing so hard i had to turn it off

Monday, August 08, 2005

Wait for the black out

This is what i did this weekend

Oh, and this...

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Oh, so this is why i'm going crazy...

Adding injury to insult, women's bodies respond to stress differently than do men's. They pour out higher levels of stress hormones and fail to shut off production readily. The female sex hormone progesterone blocks the normal ability of the stress hormone system to turn itself off. Sustained exposure to stress hormones kills brain cells, especially in the hippocampus, which is crucial to memory.

It's bad enough that females are set up biologically to internally amplify their negative life experiences. They are prone to it psychologically as well, finds University of Michigan psychologist Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, Ph.D.

Women ruminate over upsetting situations, going over and over negative thoughts and feelings, especially if they have to do with relationships. Too often they get caught in downward spirals of hopelessness and despair.

It's entirely possible that women are biologically primed to be highly sensitive to relationships. Eons ago it might have helped alert them to the possibility of abandonment while they were busy raising the children. Today, however, there's a clear downside. Ruminators are unpleasant to be around, with their oversize need for reassurance. Of course, men have their own ways of inadvertently fending off people. As pronounced as the female tilt to depression is the male excess of alcoholism, drug abuse and antisocial behaviors.

Friday, August 05, 2005

Good one

Q: How many Punks does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, Punks can't change a thing

Q: How many Straight Edges does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None, they don't screw

Q: How many Skinheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 10. 1 to screw it in and 9 to watch his back

Q: What do you call a skinhead fish? A: An Oi-ster. (haha!)

Q: How many Emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None, they're all to depressed to do it.

Q: What do you call a Punk without a girlfriend? A: Homeless

Q: How do you get a one-armed Punk out of a tree? A: Throw him a beer.

Q: What's the difference between a hippie and a trampoline? A: You take off your boots before you jump on a trampoline
Q: How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb? A: one. they're all alone. or.....none. they like to sit in the dark. hundred. 1 to put in a new one & drop the old one on the floor, and 99 to slit their wrists on the broken glass(for you micheal)

Q: What's so tragic about four ravers driving off a cliff in a Honda Civic? A: The car seats five

Q: How does a (racist) skinhead tie his shoes? In little Nazis.

happy birthday to me

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i drop my retainers every night

So last night, for my glorious 22nd, I went out w/ friends for mexican food and drinks. Maybe it should be no surprise that after margaritas, a burrito, beer, gold rush, and mountain dew at 8:30 am i feel a bit sick...
It was good to watch my future husband, aka, "hot bartender who's already taken," and play pool with a random man. I sent too many drunken text messages and myspace comments, but at least when i woke up from passing out i saw my retainers lying beside my phone on my bed and the light on.
Now for more good times at a mansion pool party tonite! (Shit, i forgot to pack my stilettos)

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Bless your heart, head, and kidneys!

that's what my co-worker said yesterday, because today is


Wednesday, August 03, 2005

If that's what you want, whatever dude

There's a couple things about me i don't like and work to change, but there's one big area that i hate sometimes but don't want to change. It's about how much I care about and need people. I'm the girl who knows she's cute and young and doesn't need a man to make her happy, but always searches one out. It's odd, because i hate being tied down as a girlfriend and usually refuse to be in any relationship. The single life is the way to be! i always say. Well, 2 weeks after a long relationship, i already find a new man to obsess over and be upset about when he doesn't call. Then a month later i find another man that i think is worth, and i even agree to be his girlfriend. Well i stay in that relationship as the only one who cares and get my heart broken again. And then i say, no boys for awhile! Riiight...who am i kidding? I love to make out! So a couple days later i find a new man, and another, and another. And again i meet one i really fall for, but say, i can't be your girlfriend, i don't want to get hurt! Well of course i did get hurt despite a simple 'dating status', and i'm heart broken, because again i'm the caring one that gives my all for someone without ever recieving it back. It's the same with friendships-too many times I've cared enough about friends too much so that when they don't call me back or make plans or forget about me, i'm a mess. I usually don't have regrets because i figure everything can be a learning experience. Well i'm starting to think i regret staying with my ex (no, not jim) because the last couple of months were all give and no recieve. But i didn't learn my lesson from it, because here i am all over again giving all i have to care about a boy who's last priority is returning my call and first priority is getting fucked up.

So am i supposed to start being a cold hearted bitch who has no feelings? At least that would get rid of my heart break. But then how am i supposed to feel the good times i get when someone cares for me? I guess this is one of those things you can't change...reasoning out things in my head works, but reasoning out my heart is a different story.

let's straighten this shit out

last night i had the pleasure of hearing an explanation why a plumber should be president and george bush is the devil's abortion (though i questioned, wouldn't that make him not exist?)

1. A plumber's hand has been in shit, so he knows the value of a dollar.
2. He doesn't worry about money and style cause he's fine with his ass crack hanging out.
3. His motto would be "Let's Straighten this Shit Out"

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

fuck it

After too much driving time and too much gas money, I got to the Warped Tour in Pittsburgh too late to see the bands i had wasted $35 for. But I'm not complaining, I got to see hot Nick Over It, as well as my best friends in the world. And when i can find a pair of sunglasses for $6 at Kmart that have Superman on one lense and "Truth, Justice, and the American Way" on the other lense, how can i hate life?

Nonetheless, life does suck, and this is the only thing today that has made happy: