How do you always make me look crazy?
oh, don't see me here? that's because just my boobs show up
My life...is apparenlty good enough for you to be reading about.
How do you always make me look crazy?
I love halloween. I love the candy, the decorations, the weather, the costumes, the music, the scaryness-i love everything about it! I also love the costume I'm currently wearing (which of course is already starting to fall apart). Pictures soon to come! In honor of glorious costumes, I decided to recall all the different things I've been in the past.
I would have thought the fact that i watch matlock, golden girls, and murder she wrote, pay close attention to my bank accounts, and like to sit around and embroider would have given a different answer. But whatevs
|You Are 18 Years Old|
13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
Not only did i awake to 2 creepy/nightmare/dreams last night, but i slept a total of around 2 hours the entire night. The heat is coming on in our apartment (which makes it feel like a sawna. waald.) but it just happens to make the.most.noise.ever. It sounded like someone was hammering a metal pipe right next to my ear! Am i really going to have to relocate to the futon where i will lie with my ass approximately 1-2 feet below the rest of my body and a bar uncomfortably stabbing my back? It might just be better.
I just spent a day and a half with my friend Steve. Yes, Hilary is correct in saying that he has good grammer. Additionally, he's quite the gentleman. Some ladies may not like the chivalrous type, but I enjoy opening doors for me, buying me lunch without asking, taking the gatorade out of my hand at royal farms just so he can go buy it, offering to hold my jacket at an overcrowded concert, agreeing to go in girly stores at the mall and not complain, and turning up the car heat because i'm freezing. So why should i ever waste my time again on a man that doesn't do all of these things for me? Well, because it might take awhile to find another one, and it might take a lot to translate this from my brain to my heart-but i'm going to start trying.
Need a break?
Take a kitten break
So this may be shocking, yes, but will it really create an uprising to stop war? I just find it kind of creepy.
homecoming consists of this kind of glory.
5:00-drink margaritas/eat sammi's delicious lasagna and chex mix while being a goofball on their steps
11:00-ask many men at the bar to buy sami a drink because she has a broken foot
12:00-some man picked me up and put me on his shoulder at the bar
bullshit around until 5:00
6:00-drink at gutterpunk chad's and reunite with rachel and amy, all together at last (minus angeller)
10:00-drink lots of fake sparks and feel crazy at jp's house playing beer pong
until 4am-get entertained by gutterpunk chad
as jen wrote out the schedule on saturday:
8:30am-*BOOM BOOM BOOM* "GET UP ON YOUR FEET!!" - Aaron and Gutterpunk Chad waking us up, forcing us to get ready in 10 minutes (no showers) so we could go see the parade.
10:30am- Watching the parade with Jenn, Sami and Vegas where an old woman looked at punked out ashley and told her friends "she'd beat up a little kid to get candy or a water bottle!"
11:30am- Amy Bones, Jenn, Sami Jizzle, Jess, Vegas, Bianca, Mikey Coldcuts, AJ, Knuckles, Travis, Billy and I go to Valley Dairy to eat the greasiest food Ever. We see captain crunch's wife and i spill my beer (disguised in a water bottle) on the family-restaurant-counter
12:45pm- Mikey cold cuts decides we all need to go to the Corn Maze located 3 miles outside of Indiana...and yes we all go. 12 of us. Bianca kept getting stuck in the mud with her moccasins and I'm pretty sure everyone there hated us becuase we were so loud and obnoxious. By the end- we were all muddy and gross.
2:30-hang out at Vegas's and play Bocce' ball
7:00-dinner w/ the oboe crew while still drinking
9:30-gpc gets arrested and we try to devise a plan to all get thrown in jail and have the party there
11:00-we find gpc at his house then get in a fight
11:30-everyone breaks bottles at corey's house
I guess i can't change the fact that i've been questioning Christianity since 7th grade, don't need a high being or faith to get me through my days, or care much at all about an afterlife of heaven or hell. Religion isn't a part of who i am, but as much as i argue with those who do believe for their reasons and needs, there's a part of life everyone goes through which might just suck the worst for people who don't believe. Death. I went to a funeral a bit ago and thought: this person affected my life in a significat way, he was a great man, and i have good memories. Everyone else sits around saying, "He's in a better place, i know he's happy up there, he'll always be with us as an angel." I already have a problem dwelling in the past and not letting go of things, so when someone dies and i know there is no possible way i could ever see them, be with them, or relive memories again-i have no comfort.
As someone who doesn't believe in a God, there's no point in me praying. But when i was in a situation i never thought imaginable, where someone extremely close was extremely sick-i thought, what can i do to find comfort and help? My prayers are insignificant in my actuality, but it does provide comfort. So here i am, stuck in a similar situation with a friend quite sick with no way to help or feel better.
I imagine it easier to accept the loss of a close friend or family member, because you would have others there knowing what you're going through and you'd have years and years of incredible memories that are more important than the one moment of death. But i've experienced the death of someone i really cared about who didn't value me as important. That's the worse-you don't have similar friends who could comfort you and you can't know that you made a huge impact on their life.
I suppose that's the curse of someone who worships actual relationships instead of something idealistic.