Smile Part II

i'm really confused at this picture. is the rooster pissed because the chicken had sex with an elephant? and how is that even possible? don't tell me that the humor is in the irony of the situation. That will only remind me of the Seinfeld episode where nobody gets the new yorker cartoons because they're not funny.

Looks like i don't have to make reeds anymore

Thanks to this creation

Smile!

Usually when i get chain letters from my aunt, they leave me quite annoyed. But despite my tired, bad mood and the fact that she sent me another chain, it's hard not to smile at the letter titled "Smile, it's easy-they're doing it!"

I also smiled when i found this:



So...enjoy. :)

George Costanza would say

"You've given up on life if you're wearing sweat pants in public." Not to mention you want to make me throw up if you actually think it's ok to wear such a non-flattering, casual, gross piece of clothing-ever.
And the next worst thing to sweatpants? Pajama pants. I dont mind the use of these in a sleeping situation-unlike sweatpants which are never acceptable to me-but as a fashion statement to school? I may even understand a trip to Wal-Mart late at night for cold medicine. Not rolling out of bed and going 8 straight hours of classes in the clothing you slept/sweat in.

PJ's in public all the rage, despite school bans
“Part of it is because it’s cute; but the majority of it is because it’s comfortable,” says the sixth-grader

-news flash, it's not cute!

“But once you start wearing slippers with them, people start to make jokes about a pajama party,”

-who wears slippers in public?? and why would anyone think a soft-bottom/easily rippable sole would be ok to walk in outside?

"Valerie Bent, who launched the Las Vegas-based Big Feet Pajama Co. a month ago, says...some young people also have told her they plan to wear the one-piece, footed PJs to school."

-i can't even comment on this until i would see such a rediculous act in person, in which case i'd probably faint

I agree with the why do schools care about pajama pants attitude, but honestly, why don't people care they're wearing such horrbile garments?

Am i on an email list for single losers?

Here Are The Top Ten Reasons Why Women Cheat Themselves Out Of Living The Love Life Of They're Dreams-And How To Make Sure You Avoid Every One Of Them...

Mistake #1) Betting Your Love-Life On His "Potential"
The women I dated hoped I'd change. But deep down these women believed that if
they tried hard enough, that it would make up for what was lacking. They believed that I could become someone else with them.... and that this would be easy for us
both.

Mistake #2) Assuming You "Get" Men & Their Psychology

Mistake #3) Pretending To Be Something For A Man

Mistake #4) Sharing How You "Feel" Too Early With Him

Mistake #5) Misreading The Important "Signals" That Men Send
The signals men send have 4 main levels:
1) Social: Where the man is at in his own life - stability, confidence, direction
2) Emotional: Whether or not he's "emotionally available"
3) Physical: If he's attracted to you and for what reasons
4) Love State: If he's open to building and growing a relationship in the future

Mistake #6) Relying On Your Natural Ability To Judge A Man's Character
Getting the wrong messages from men causes women more pain and heartache than any other issue around.

Mistake #7) Expecting A Relationship To Make You Happy

Mistake #8) Trying To "Convince" Him To Like You Or Love You
Well, I have news for you...YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW A MAN "FEELS" WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTION!
Never, ever, ever.

Mistake #9) Not Knowing What To Do In Each Type Of Situation

Mistake #10) Not Getting Help

"I can't find my charm!!!"

After a glorious night of hip-hop/screen dancing for the celebration of my friend, Kate's, birth, we were on our way home. Then, as Hilary might say, "only in Baltimore:"
After accidentally cutting off a car, we are driven home and find that the cut off car had followed us to yell and complain. Kate apologizes, but the 15 year old mom-to-be thought it necessary to get out of the car and the two exchanged some words/started to brawl. Then 15 year old baby daddy comes and punches Kate in the head. After all is settled, the girl looks for her dropped necklace...and then her charm. What could this charm be? A butterfly? A teddy bear with ABC blocks? Either way, homegirl never found her charm

At least she wasn't naked...

And it's true, no matter what situation or story, I always end with "and then I laughed."

And from my brother

"What i want to be when i grow up"

Oh cats...

My dad's email today said

Oh, Thomas pooped in the bathbub last night....nice....

Love, Dad

Alright Robert...

How about this one?

Let's hear it for the boys

I'm sure this won't really help, considering the only men who usually read this blog are gay, but:

“The Ten Most Dangerous Mistakes YOU Probably Make With Women—And What To Do About It...”

Here Are The Top Ten Reasons Why Men Fail With Women—And How To Make Sure YOU Avoid Every One Of These Deadly Common Mistakes... read more
MISTAKE #1: Being Too Much Of A “Nice Guy”

MISTAKE #2: Trying To Convince Her To Like You

MISTAKE #3: Looking To Her For Approval Or Permission

MISTAKE #4: Trying To “Buy” Her Affection With Food And Gifts
uh, i like this...
MISTAKE #5: Sharing “How You Feel” Too Early In The Relationship With Her

MISTAKE #6: Not “Getting” How Attraction Works For Women
for this one, i just had to share this man's "explanation."

Women are VERY different from men when it comes to ATTRACTION...When a man sees a beautiful, young, sexy woman, he INSTANTLY feels a sexual attraction...Well, after studying this topic for over five full years now, I can tell you that women usually have their "attraction mechanisms" triggered by things OTHER than looks. Have you ever noticed that you see a lot more average and unattractive men with beautiful women than the other way around? Think about it. Women are more attracted to certain qualities in men... and they're attracted to the way a man makes them FEEL than they are to looks alone.

Or maybe it has to do with how women in society HAVE to look great to land a man? And men just have to be successful...this guy is completely proving this and encouraging it.

MISTAKE #7: Thinking That It Takes Money And Looks

MISTAKE #8: Giving Away All Of Your Power To Women

MISTAKE #9: Not Knowing EXACTLY What To Do In Each Type Of Situation With Women
Haha, this is kind of true
A woman ALWAYS knows what you're thinking. Women are approximately TEN TIMES better than men at reading body language. That's ten TIMES. I know, it might be hard to believe. But for example, if you're out on a date with a woman, and you want to kiss her, she knows it. And if you don't know exactly what to do and exactly HOW to kiss her, and you just sit there looking at her and getting nervous, she won't help!

MISTAKE #10: Not Getting HELP
um.....?

Otherwise

Well i just broke my cellphone, spilled grease on my already-stained-but-wearing-it-to-work-anyway skirt, and read the apalling contestants that got on The Biz instead of yours truly. But the fact that i am on the "weirdest video submissions" tape makes me laugh and forget about all of that:

http://us.video.aol.com/video.index.adp?mode=2&pmmsid=1377058

Grrreat!

Sounds like something i need to try

the writing on the wall

I'm always interested and surprised to see what posters will be hanging in rooms of televion shows or movies. You know, the props they put up on a teenager's wall to signify his or her "badass" or "good person" image, what the latest music is at the time. I was watching Saved by the Bell this morning (The "just a chick!?/Jessie's NYC step brother visit" episode) and noticed the boy's bedroom was full of New York Yankees paraphanalia and...a Misfits poster.

MM..growing up

I was recently discussing the use of cellphones for teenagers/"tweens" with my sister. I also found an article on MSN today. But I don't have a child, so it's hard for me to judge exactly what I would do in the situation. Kids should realize although they're gaining technology, they're actually losing control. Most of these phones targeted toward children are completely controlled by the parents. And most parents talk about they check txt messages and call logs on their childs' phones.
I was quite happy sticking with the cordless in my living room and just setting up a time for my parents to pick me up when i went out. Now parents can call anytime, anyplace, needing to know where their kid is. I guess it's nicer to know for the parents, but as a kid, i would hate to be that smothered.

Creepy!

One of my coworkers baught this 'cheerleading doll' and i forgot how much i hate/am scared of such "toys."

1. The realisticness with their eyes blinking and normal looking hair-weird!!
2. As if i can't stand kids screaming, talking, or singing as it is, now you get to press a button and hear it
3. Cheers are dumb
4. Dolls are weird, again

I'm glad i work at a hospital

Clumsy me, the other day i'm making some sloppy joes and i rest the plastic utensil on the scolding hot pan. Then, i lift up this utensil and drop it right on my wrist, plastic melting on my skin and bubbly burn starting to develop. No big deal that this huge ugly scar is on me, until it pops and puss is everywhere. It's now started to hurt so i decide to head nextdoor to the wellness center for a simple bandaid/neosporin aid. No No! they said and cleaned, medicated, and wrapped my wrist. I even have samples of some burn cream (for this 2nd degree mistake) and gauze pads to take home! Maggie says i look like i slit my wrist. I'm going with "i just got the stigmata."

This is disgusting

Not only because i hate Lindsay Lohan, but because i hate the word panties even more

ew

George Bush hates black people

Hilarious...

http://www.collegehumor.com/movies/1604601/

I'm glad kanye west stopped shopping long enough to send this message. Mike myers facial reactions are priceless.

I'm a column/blog star!

Look, Robert wrote about how much I wish he and his Oldie McOlderson friends should actually go out:

My friend Ashli, a foppish 22-year-old, has recently stopped bothering to ask whether or not I’ll go out with her on a weeknight, something I’m less likely to do than adopt a Cambodian baby and name it Maddox. I scoff at the idea, laughing as I tell her, “Go out? Ashli, it’s Tuesday. I don’t think so.” I then adjust the half-glasses I have on a chain around my neck and achingly hoist myself up out of my easy chair, grasping my gray metal walker, grumbling to myself as I amble to the bathroom.

Read the whole article which is run in Baltimore Gay Life.

Roommate trouble!

Thank goodness i've never had to deal with someone this bad

Though the thermostat post sounds a bit familiar...

Well, that's Ratface

Maggie was talking to me about writing her 5 year plan. She said, well you know how they say: if you're thinking about it, write it down so it will happen!
I said, oh i write plenty of stuff down. But it never happens, and i usually lose the piece of paper.

Workday stories

Some woman in my office just said

"Well with eskimos, when somebody gets old, they put the person out in a field so that the bears will come and eat them."