Listen Up

I've recently come to the conclusion that there are very few people in my life that are good listeners. Perhaps there's just very few people who are even capable of listening to someone and caring about them. I'm going to venture to say there are approximately only 4 friends of mine that will listen to anything i have to say and be there for me without arguing, yelling, lecturing, or complain about all my complaining. We are human, we talk through our problems because it makes us feel better. But I guess it's also human for people to not want to listen. My least favorite part about these people is when instead of listening to my story, you can see how quickly they want me to shut up so they can tell their version of the same story. I was telling a friend how I moved into a pretty ghetto neighborhood and he got so worried and concerned about me but comforted my worries. I told annother boy and he's like-I know that area. It was stupid to move there, and then didn't want to hear the rest of my story.
I thought it was because these people just didn't care about me, aren't concerned about my wellbeing and life, and that they're extremely selfish-but maybe that's just the way they are and can't listen or care about a friend's life the way i can.

I'm Moving!

Todd, Mike, Chad, and I finally have the keys (pink leopard print keys thanks to Todd) for our new house today! That's right...I get my own room, my own bed, and I'm actually going to start chipping in. Mike and Todd have been the most generous people I've ever met in my life letting me crash with them, having sleepovers, and just being awesome.
I love moving-it's excited to unpack, arrange my things, plan how my room will look. And i'm quite excited that i've got a big enough closet to actually put all of my clothing. Everyone's told me that we're living kind of in the ghetto, but with the cheapest grocery store in the world and the indoor swap meet right around the corner-well, i guess that does mean it's the ghetto-i'm still excited!
Pictures to follow. Especially of our housewarming/my late birthday/beer pong extravaganza party.

The X Factor

You never wanna see the ex girlfriend of a boy you like. You don't want to know that they're fat, or ugly, or funny, or smart, or anything. You really don't want to know that they're pretty and sexy and could have been a really awesome girl. Gosh, how do my exboyfriend's new girlfriends handle it? haha! Either way, i'm a pretty confident lady, so i really need to get over being self concious. I'm quite a catch myself!

180 Degree

Why is it that when you find out someone you care about who doesn't talk to you anymore is really doing great and finally getting their life together-that it makes you madder and hate them? I'm a big drunk dialer and will probably regret leaving the really awful voicemail tonight that i'm going to.

If i never

had to hear the word "cute" or "adorable" to describe clothing again, i'd die a happy lady.

The Las Vegas music scene...

...kinda sucks. There's a lot of venues, mostly only for people over 21 though. Unfortunately, most of my favorite bands don't tour through here-but i lucked out and saw The Dwarves and Clit 45 within the past few weeks. No one was allowed to dance/mosh/move at the Dwarves show. In fact, when the band did-they kicked them off and shut down the show. As much as that sucks, I hated more the prentencious assholes that thought the girls wearing an American Eagle shirt and a denim skirt should be beat up-obviously they can't appreciate punk rock. Bullshit-I've always hated that about music fans-just because you don't look/act/have all the knowledge of that part, it does not mean you can't like the music.
Gutter punks have always seemed different to me. Probably because they're a bunch of 16/17 year olds. But maybe because they're just out to have a good time and are trying to find their place in life as much as anyone else. I went to the Clit 45 show and was surprised/dissapointed to see only about 20/30 people in this whole city at the show (me being one of 3 over 21-ers). But i was so happy to see this small group of young kids having fun pushing each other around just to laugh and get out energy, singing along to all the songs, and just having the best time they could have. They weren't making a dance circle so they could karate kick like stupid hardcore kids. They actually supported the scene instead of being too busy drinking or drugging. And they didn't bitch and complain to me because my friend and i looked different and didn't know them. Ahhhhh punk rock.

I need big boobies and a tight dress

I've decided working 3 jobs isn't even coming close to the salary i made with one job in Baltimore and that I need to expand my job opportunities-to a 4th job! (or maybe be able to quit 2 others). I talked all day to a hotel banquet server and asked some clubbers what they think i should do. I've decided as a cocktail waitress I'd be making pretty damn good money. I will apply to the Rainbow Bar and Grill because I figure my look fits in pretty well there. The server suggested going to the union because I'd network well and make great money. The only problem is-I'd be wearing my wig/nose ring up/and tattoo coverup makeup everyday just to make more money. They'd probably try to get me a job at a casino where I'd have to wear that everyday. I love working at Urban because i can be myself and not wear some costume everyday to work. So I explored another avenue-Pure Mangament-with the number 1 nightclub in the nation, Pure, and Tangerine, and a new Sushi/Sake lounge. I dressed in a flirty, low cut dress and walked into 3 girls with huge boobs hanging out of a tight blouse and even tighter skirt. The guys looked the same with gelled up hair, fashion jeans, and a nice shirt with some blazer. They took my polaroid and then asked me stupid questions like "what can you bring here as a cocktail waitress?" I'm sure when going through the applicants, they'll take one look at me and realize i'm not nearly sexy enough to work there.
I'm not discouraged, jealous of sexy, beautiful women, or upset that more people don't accept tattoos and colored hair-I'm just starting to notice how looks really do matter in this town. You can make a lot of money in Las Vegas because it's a tip town-but you have to look the right way and i don't. guess i'll have to use my brains instead of my looks to get a job.

Do i have regrets?

I've been single for a year now. That's the longest in over four years. It feels good-not dealing with drama, not worrying about anybody but myself, not making a schedule to fit someone else in. I'm very content with going out and spotting a hottie and maybe talking to them but not caring about any expectation. So i don't have a problem of thinking about being single and wanting a boyfriend-but i do have a problem with thinking of past boyfriends, how wonderful they were, and why i ever let them slip through. Ok, so mainly i'm talking about Beautiful Steve. Lately, every tall skinny guy with tattoos that walks by reminds me of him and then I think about he was the sweetest, most caring guy I'd ever met. I thought we were very well fit for each other and that maybe down the road things would work out between us. Maybe I just keep thinking about it because he's completely stopped talking to me for more than a month-I want what i can't have and i'm sad i lost a friend. All of the guys I've dated (for the most part) have been amazing, caring people, and I hope I wasn't just lucky at a young age and that I can still meet someone that meets the same standards. I'll be waiting...

Brrr

I thought I hated the cold and couldn't wait to get away from it. I was wrong. I dont like this 112 degrees. I don't like getting winded walking to the mall. I just want to wear a sweater and play in the snow.