Annoyance

Things that really annoy me:

Slow drivers in a parking garage. The level is all full. Driving slow will not make spots show up.

People in line at the airport shoving me. We're all going to the same place at the same time on the same plane. Moving your bags and yourself 3 inches every 30 seconds is not necessary-especially when it means pushing me or yelling at me.

When people that are sick act like they're going to die. This mostly includes men. Like my exboyfriend.

Lifting up a shirt sleeve to see tattoos. And then the person tells their own story about their shitty tattoos. This doesn't happen to me-but i bet it's still really annoying.

by the way-i was on the phone with my dad last night. he said "Hold on, i just swallowed a candy wrapper."

The madness

I don't know what made me decide to want to attend this yearly, drunk, crazy event, but one day last summer I told Mike, Chad, and Todd that it would be a great idea to reunite at Mardi Gras in New Orleans! I looked up the flights, booked a cheap and close hotel, and it was in the works. Also joining was Jessicant and Jared from IUP, Porno Dan from LA, and Brian and Kevin Spacey from Todd's work.



It took about 2 hours to reroute around the parade going on, but on our venture, we saw most of the condemned/wrecked houses and they had marked coordinates. Maybe for inspecting, quarentine, i really don't know. It was pretty depressing to see all the abandoned houses and busineses but finally we got to our hotel. We all came separately, with the hotel being a bit suspicious of fitting so many people in one room, but quickly ran out, grabbed some frozen hurricanes, and ate at a Jazz Bistro. I had Crawfish Etoufee, Todd had Jumbalaya, and we watched a guitar player.




We headed back up Bourbon Street to a parade that was going on and stopped by a few bars and shops. The street was already getting crazy, filling up with Dixieland bands, frat boys, sex and strip joints, beads, and crazies




(a live sex show shop)


We headed up to the first parade for us. We say Taylor Hicks American Idol!, Journey had a float, and a bunch of Saint's players were throwing beads. There were already people in costumes and just blitzed. We started our weekend of Sparks at the same time and returned to many of the hundreds of port-a-potties over and over.






(kevin federline?)


(i told this guy to look like a dinosaur)

(guess we couldn't find potties this time. 8 of us just peed on the street)

(a beeded hippie mobile on the street. it's where i'd smoke all my weed...if i smoked weed)


We had made a bet that Chad was the drunkest and would probably fall first...but we didn't expect that by me pushing him, he'd break his ankle. Now he has to have plates in it for the rest of his life. And it's still funny to me.

this is where he actually fell

chad being miserable

us being drunk and making chad more miserable


Porno Dan came, we went to Carosel, Voodoo, and Dungeon themed bars.


He drank a 4 dollar Huge Ass Beer while the rest of us drank from other theme-cupped drinks. Like Jessicant's "Horny Gator" in some Alligator Cup, Jared's "Hand Grenade" which had this mean face printed on a ...Grenade. And Todd and Dan got these sweet Goblin cups.


The next day we woke up, went our separate ways, and Todd, Dan, and I walked in the Riverwalk (pretty much a worse version of the Inner Harbor.) We ate fried alligator (mine was on a Po-Boy) and we saw another parade. We couldn't even figure out the theme it was so random-Beauty and The Beast, Wizrd of Oz, Peanut Butter and Jelly???





these huge ladders were all up and down the street that people would stand up on. It looked like families prepared a year ahead of time to make their own

We ended up at Landry's for dinner, eating Fried Crab Legs and Gumbo.

I met up with my coworker, Jessica, who is from Louisianna. She insisted on taking us to Two Sisters Kitchen for some Southern Cookin. (Not the Two Sister's Court, which my mother reccommended. And which was really expensive.) I got fried chicken, red beans and rice, and cornbread. Todd had some smothered Pork Chops...mmm.


Then we walked around, saw a bunch of bands, and explored the French Market. It just seemed like a gloried Flea Market, but it smelled delicious! We shopped at some punk stores, danced to some bands, and drank some more hurricanes. We saw Jackon Square, costumes, and gutterpunks (apparently I just missed the gutterpunk walking parade!)









There were some live statues that moved if you threw them money.

This guy let us pick a song and then "play it"



We ate a shitload of crawfish that night. 2 pounds each to be exact! It was kinda like eating crabs (they used old bay), but not as much meat.


That night, we got free passes to a Sparks party. If you have any idea how much i love Sparks, you know how much more I love a Sparks open bar with Mickey Avalon performing. We couldn't go in the VIP area because there was a Saints player and Better Than Ezra! I did have a danceoff with some man doing a gorilla walk-and somehow he won. A dixiland band also waltzed in the club and just got up on stage to play-I really like that about the south. and about Mardi Gras.


We gambled a bit. Todd and i learned how to play craps! And i lost 5 bucks in BlackJack.



It was dirty, but awesome!

Show Time

It's been quite awhile since I've really put on a show. Since bands played parties in our basement. Since kids smoked in the bathroom and pissed on walls and venues never called me back. Since I ran small pa's for local kids and some touring band i dug.
I had my first Supernova meeting and walked into the venue which looked a lot like an Amvets basement i used to rent out for about $50 a night. Costs are a little different, and the idea of throwing 10-12 bands on the bill is also a little different, but all my excitement came back from the 5 years ago i used to do it. From the bands we met with, some were really excited, some just walked out, and some were pretentious.
Either way, my boss was totally chill and quite sure the Supernova format will work anywhere. I'm sitting with a feeling, maybe because I'm the only girl in the room, or maybe it's because I think this will end up just like Pennsylvania-but I was a bit nervous. Nervous that no matter how i run things, it will never be good enough for the scene. That kids will badmouth me for no reason other than to do it. That since i don't go to every show in the city and haven't been in the scene for 10 years, I'm not good enough to even be doing it. Ok so now i'm just ranting about Hanover and making it sound like i actually take it seriously.
But my thoughts of having venues shutdown because of dancing and bands bitching and complaing are valid concerns of mine. Las Vegas does seem a lot cooler for how people treat each other and that bands are glad to just be playing. And I am older and I'm backed by a huge company this time. But I won't change the person I am to try and become some wellknown scenester around town knowing every band in the area or care if they have some great respect for what i do. Screw what other people think-i'm really excited for the show!

The Good Ol' VD

For the first time in 5 years, i don't have a Valentine. No bed and breakfast getaway, nice romantic dinner, flowers shipped to my house, not even a man to pretend I crush on. I read last year's post at this time and I was so chipper. Perhaps i was expecting a surprise visit from Steve, perhaps I was just trying to find a way to break up my boring workday.
I'm not excited for love, flowers, or sex today-but I certainly am excited! I'll be spending my Valentine's Day with Girltalk, Kanye West, Gnarles Barkley, Spank Rock, and Lupe Fiasco. My outfit for this dancefest consists of: a silver, spandex unitard, black vest, pink furry boots and scarf, and silver sparkly wig. And a can of Sparks beforehand.
It doesn't feel like VD, i wore red on accident and no one here cares if their husbands/bfs take them out tonight or not. Looks like I'll have to bring the love, because I can't miss celebrating a holiday!

Lava Life

I've done it. I've joined a dating site. No, things haven't gotten that desparate, and no, I'm not even in the mood to have a boyfriend right now. I just listen to my sister's hilarious stories and thought it'd be fun to branch out of the 18-year-old, cokehead, pick up a dude at a divebar scene. I certainly have a type of guy that's tall, skinny, had a mohawk at some point in his life, is covered in tattoos, and really appreciates a good pabst blue ribbon. But why not meet other people right now? I don't have too many friends here and I think it's a great time in my life to just see what's going on out there and what I can learn from different people.
Afterall, pretty much all of us are on Myspace-clearly a glorified dating service. We check each other's pictures, the age, where they work, what they're friends look like, Myspace just doesn't look as....desparate.
Most of the men on my Lava Life are about 40. Or 50. And I don't know if i'd go on a date with even a 22 year old on there, but at least it gives me something to pass the workday by.

Dating Game II

Maybe it's the superficiality of Las Vegas, but I did forget to mention my favorite question of the night during a recent date.
"Why aren't you wearing a dress? I thought you'd be wearing a dress"
My response: "Well, I thought this looked fine. ummm..."
"We should go somewhere nicer next time. Then you could wear a dress."

I also called a "friend" to ask for his help in going clubbing this weekend.
"Well, what are you wearing?"
Me: "Who cares? I'm stylish, aka rediculous."
"I care. What are you wearing."

And my sister just reminded me of this glory that I'm not sure I mentioned before. I went over to a boy's house to watch a movie. Just the two of us. And at the end of the night I mentioned that we were both getting a bit tired, should we go to sleep?
He says: "You can take my bed, I'll sleep on the couch."

Oh well, maybe they'd have ed that night anyway. Or cry in front of me. Or said something else insulting.

The Tiger

This story is really better in person and recited in a Hanover accent. But it's so funny i thought why not write it down.

Janice has a friend who i describe as a shiny button down shirt with dragon-wearing, spencers gothic necklace sporting, biggest billy idol and type o negative fan, 1 1/2 front-toothed guy. He was very in love in with Janice and was also a coworker of ours at the factory. He took me home after being laid off one day and we hung out for a bit. The next week, when we all went back to work, he called me over to his car. He said there was a present for me. I decided not to go to his car or to talk to him because i was a bit scared at what he would show me. He kept asking if i had driven to work day after day because this present was waiting for me and it was so big it needed to go in my car.

Finally, Janice went to his car and retrieved my present. She called me over, barely able to speak over her shock/laughter/annoyance at him being weird, and told me to look in the back seat of her car. Taking up the entire back seat was a white, stuffed tiger he had won for me at Hersehy Park. He had asked Janice if she wanted one as well, but she said no.

That's right, dog

Phat Phree's lates article, 50 Things You'll Never Hear is one of my recent favorites.

Like: "Oh...I'm really hoping my grandson is gay!"

"I don't date Asians. Their penises are too big."

and the best "Turn up the godamn oboe, dog."

Kicked Out

I'm a bit of a lush. drunk. rediculous person. asshole. whatever. And when I am filling out those glorious myspace surveys, yes I do have a story for the question "Have you been kicked out of a bar?"

The first was about 2 weeks before my 21st birthday, the summer i lived in new york. I was at a coworkers party, had gotten completed wasted at open bar, and when outside to get some fresh air. I was puking all over the sidewalk and finally got up the strength to stand up and puke. Once the bouncer saw me, he grabbed me by the arm and literally threw me into the gutter on the street. Then i tried to get home-a whole other story.

The next time was when i was actually 21, celebrating St. Patrick's day completely wasted at IUP's trashiest bar, Al Patty's. Amy, Pussooowww Dave, and I were enjoying drunken time making fun of everyone there. A bottle dropped on the ground near us and suddenly the bouncer comes running over to Pussow, accuses him of throwing the bottle, and escorts him out. I, in turn, scream at the bouncer saying he obviously did not throw it and this was complete bullshit, at which time the bouncer then told me to get the hell out. This is the same bar that I wasn't even inside about a year later, but was drunk and they told me to leave their property.

I celebrated Janice's birthday at Klinger's a little too hard, or maybe it was that Heroin Aaron was buying us a little too many Screaming Nazis. Either way, after getting up and singing only the words ChChChChCherry Bombbbb whenever i felt like it during Janice's Joan Jett rendition, I decided to leave. I gave Janice a hug, picked her up, and knocked us both over. They got pretty pissed and told us to leave asap.

Although Las Vegas is very tolerant of drunks, I did mange to get kicked out as soon as i stumbled into Ellis Island's Kareoke Bar. The bouncers came running and said 'you'll have to leave'.

The latest is on New Years Eve. After going to the strip and all around, we ended up at Las Vegas's trashiest strip club: Larry's Villa. Where the girls are gross and the booze is...not cheap. Needless to say, i was loud and drunk, so I suppose when I was making fun of the strippers (and sitting in the front row) they heard me. The doorman informs me they know, they won't serve me anymore, and that I should probably leave.

The Dating Game

I went on a date last night. Probably the nicest first date I'll ever go on in my life-a super good steak and martinis. I've been on hardly any dates, but I thought I'd take this time to describe my worst experience thus far.

I went out to dinner with a friend of mine. I guess I hadn't considered it a date until the end of dinner. I said McDonald's was fine, as i thought it was just hanging out. He decided to go a bar and grill that he really liked because he was picking up the check. We ordered some beers, an appetizer perhaps, and some nice meals. The check came and the waitress came back with his card saying 'declind sir'. He looked at me and said, 'i didn't know if there was any money in my account or not, so i guess there wasn't.' I look at him a little perplexed and then handed over my credit card for the $50 bill.
He never offered to reimburse me for even half so i went up to him at a bar and asked/demanded at least a 20 out of him. I got it, and i still call him out on it when i see him. He deserves it. Thank god the guy didn't stick me with the probably $150 bill of last night